The pirate and the Marine
by Yueres De Leo
Summary: "You know, it's been almost two years since we first met, and that means we have been beaten each other for quite a long time now, but you haven't told me your first name yet" Marco/OC
1. Danielle D Kaede

I... really dont know why I wrote this. Maybe I'll take it as a writing excersie, and thats it. Kind of have an idea of what to write, and a history line, but thats it; maybe you can take this a colecction of One Shots of the same persons in different momments... no, thats not it XD well, you just read and tell me what you think.

A/N: English is not my first language so please bear with me.

Disclaimer: I do not own One piece.

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><p>"You know" He panted, brushing the corner of his mouth with the back of his right hand, the place where she had punched him just seconds before, while his other hand was pressed against his knee and trying to lift his head as much as possible to look at the person that was a few feet in front of him. He knew there was blood on that zone of his face- she was damn strong for a girl of her age, even when Marco didn't exactly know how old she was, so he could only guess. The soon-to-be commander took deep breaths, tying to control his body, knowing that it would be humiliating for a man to be that work out after fighting with a woman, even when he knew that was bullshit when it came to <em>that <em>woman in specific "It's been almost two years since we first met, and that means we have been beaten each other for quite a long time now, but you haven't told me your first name yet"

It was not really something a pirate says to a marine, but they both knew they were not the aggressive, name calling type. At least not between them. They had been through plenty of things before for that; situations where they had beaten the other almost to death, and even then they still had that attitude. They had meet almost two years before, years after he entered Whitebeards, when she was just starting her duties as a low rank marine at Vice Admiral Garp's ship.

They fought every time they saw each other- hell, there had been some s_erious _injuries in both parts from their confrontations since she had enough Haki cause him damage, but they still had that kind of way of treating each other- he _really _didn't know why she was still lower rank marine. It was something that neither his crew nor her marine companions could understand. But honestly, there was no need of other people understanding it, since they couldn't actually tell themselves what it really was.

But something was clear for both parts.

If one his 'brothers' tried to fight her, they knew they were screwed. And if one of her friends tried to fight him, they knew they were screwed as well. It was simple enough to remember.

She was _his _enemy- his _rival_. If she didn't lose to him, she didn't have the _right _to lose to anyone else.

She blinked in surprise, panting like him, brushing sweat from her forehead.

"You never asked"

"Kind of expected you to tell me that was not of my business" He smirked, and she actually laughed.

"That wouldn't be fair; if you are going to be arrested by my sometime in the future, then you have the right to know my full name, Marco" Was her argument, moving her brown hair off her eyes by shaking her head a little. He noticed than it was longer than the last time they had seen each other, even thought it was shorter than most woman he had seen- he cursed himself because he wasn't _supposed_ to notice things like that. He shook his head as well, trying to pass it as a dismissive gesture, forcing himself to put a smirk in his lips as well. But in the back of his mind he couldn't help but wonder why she called him by his name with such ease.

"Interesting logic"

She laughed again.

"The name is Kaede" She knew that it would be easy for him to attack if he wanted, since she was just there, sitting on the ground, but they both knew as well that 1) they were way too beaten to continue and 2) he wouldn't do it anyway. He didn't want to win like that. So she smiled- that was what Marco found most fascinating about her; she didn't smirk like the other marines did, she wasn't like the other lower ranks he had meet before at all, she actually smiled at him every time they saw each other, every time they fought, and as always, Marco couldn't help but wonder if she was right in the head "Danielle D. Kaede"

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><p><strong>Well, if you liked it, just write a review and I guess I'll continue.<strong>


	2. The giant peacock and The big chicken

And… I certainly didn't expect so much people to read this ._. like, really**, it is** strange how I write in English, so I don't get it at all… But well, if you liked it then I'm glad XD Even though I'm pretty sure I kind of **ruined **the fic with this, I just hope you still like it enough to leave review. Thank you all for your support!

Oh, yeah, this keeps being something like a collection of One Shots… think so at least… so I wanted to say that's why the chapters are so short.

**A/N: English is not my first language so please be patient with me. **

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece

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><p>"I heard that you are a commander now" Marco turned his head around to look over his shoulder, searching for the person that was talking to him. Was not much problem to find her since she was the only one in that part of the port besides him, sitting on the top of a kind of large wall with her legs crossed and her chin resting on her open palm, her elbow on top of her knee- that way of sitting was <em>way<em> too familiar for the man to be comfortable with the feeling, but he ignored it anyway. There were a couple of lamps lit on that part, but they were not much of help when trying to look at where she was sitting, but despite that, Marco was perfectly capable of looking at her smiling face with the help of the bright moon on top of their heads. She tilted her face while closing her eyes when he noticed her, her smile was wide as ever "Congratulations"

"What's this? A marine congratulating a pirate for ascending in his crew-yoi?" He snorted in a mocking way, turning the rest his body in her direction, still with the hands inside his pockets. He had been making rounds for the past hours after he went to take a drink with his brothers, making sure nobody got into real trouble since they noticed marines were around; really, he shouldn't be surprised at all seeing- he _wasn't _surprised at all, because that had been happening the last three years from time to time, and he actually had been wondering why they hadn't meet yet. Marco needed some serious exercise since they only meet weaklings along the way, and it was kind of boring "This has to be the prove that something is wrong with the world"

"Nothing we didn't know already- I mean, I've always been pretty incoherent, you know it" Kaede laughed heartily, lifting her head from her palm while uncrossing her legs, kind of swinging them over the edge of the wall; how did she get there anyway? She was quite a jumper, but he didn't think that kind of jump was possible for her- he shrugged the thought off after a couple of seconds since it was obvious that she had had to use some kind of stairs. Didn't even know why she thought about that.

"And I heard that you are _finally _going to be promoted to Ensign in a couple of days" He smirked, trying to copy the tone she had used before "Congratulations"

"The commander of the first division of the Whitebeards pirates himself is congratulating me! This is such an honor! You have made my day, I have to say" They both chuckle almost at the same time, Kaede trying to copy a flattered expression, thing that didn't work to well. After a second she looked at the man with curious eyes, and Marco was actually quite tempted to ask how old was she, because the aura she had was too innocent for someone in her world, oh, and he _knew _she was not as harmless as she looked- hell, that all had started because he had said it in her face the first time they met "How did you know, though? It's certainly not something as important as to be announced to the public"

"A little birdie told me" Of course that with that he meant that he got to listen to some low ranking marines talking in the bar he had been a couple of hours before, just after they had docked. It was kind of interesting how they turned to be an _excellent _source of information when there was a little too much alcohol inside their system. But she didn't exactly need to know that- it kind of gave the whole topic a sense of humor, even thought it already was an _hilarious _situation; not that he thought marines like Sengoku would find it funny at all, because, he had to be realistic, most people would think that there was no _possible way _of a marine an a pirate to be talking like they were used to talk before and after a fight- it almost seemed like a _friendship_. There were moments when he doubted about it himself, but when his crew was in a battlefield he was quickly remember of how difficult would be for a pirate and a marine to be friends. And, anyway, they were nothing more than rivals "About time, if you ask me"

"Oh, don't be like that" She grinned, rolling her eyes a little.

"So" He raised an eyebrow in curiosity, still in the same position with his hands inside his pocket. Kaede raised an eyebrow when she say the sign of amusement pass his eyes, something that she could see even from where she was sitting "Are we going to fight to celebrate it, or you _actually _only came to socialize and tell me that?"

"Oh my, what makes you think that I want to socialize with you? I certainly didn't want to give that absurd impression" Her voice was like all times, as serious as she could get with her personality, but something in the way she tilted her face to a side while smiling just gave him the feeling that she was being completely sarcastic. His eye twitched a little, getting the impression that she was making fun of him, what was most likely, and the worst part? She didn't even seemed to be _trying_ "I merely wanted to try my new abilities with you, that's all"

"New abilities?" Now that was something she didn't say often. But surprisingly, Marco couldn't help but to have a bad feeling on the bottom of his stomach, like something was going to make him sick at any moment, and he had the feeling it was not because of the drinks he had had not long ago. She jumped from where she was sitting to the ground, and the man didn't even had the chance to wonder when she got the condition of doing that when the answer immediately came to his mind. But he seriously didn't think he could dislike the answer so much "Kaede, tell me you didn't eat a-"

"Yep" When Kaede stood completely straight, shaking her legs a little, apparently just getting used to what she had done, she turned to look at him "Because, you know, Marco" She smiled, with one hand at her hip while she lifted the other calmly at her side, until it was completely horizontal to her body "I wouldn't be able to bear being left behind by you" He watched with hidden amazement how her arm slowly turned until all he could see were feathers, brown colored feathers, even though they kind of looked reddish under the light of the lamp hanging on the nearest wall- they looked like some kind of falcon, but somehow he knew that it was something else. He turned his eyes to her face, finding that her own eyes, which were the color of honey, were in his face while she was still smiling- like she was talking with an old friend. And Marco for just a _second_ thought that was exactly what they were "And since you can reach the sky, I figured I needed to find a way of reach it as well"

And, obviously, there was only one thing to say so he wouldn't look like an idiot staring at her.

"And your logical solution was to change into a really big chicken"

"Oh, but Marco" She smirked, and Marco just _knew _she was going to say something unnecessary- he recalled that kind of things started their first fight, and it seemed like it wasn't going to lose its touch, so the smirk he managed to pull into his face immediately fell aside, even before he heard what she had to say "I think is cooler to be this than to be a giant peacock"

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><p><strong>If you still like if after reading this, leave a review and I'll continue. <strong>

Tori Tori no Mi, Model: Royal Milano (Or, if you want to look for it, type Milano Real since I found it in Spanish and I'm just guessing the name in English. PS: Reason why I didn't write it on the fic)


	3. Not good enough

I have seen a couple of comments about it, and I really wanted to leave it clear:

- **YES, I do know Marco is a Phoenix, Kaede calls him 'peacock' just to mock him. **

**- NO, Kaede is not a giant chicken, Marco called her that to mock her, and if you want to look for the type of animal she is, type Milano Real since I found it in Spanish and I'm just guessing the name in English, that's why I didn't wrote it in the chapter. **

Thank you all for your reviews!

PS: This is the shortest chapter so that's why I'm updating so soon. Anyway, this was meant to be a collection of one shot!

**Aho: Stupid. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece. **

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><p><em>"Tell me something, why they don't ascend you? You are stronger than an Ensign-yoi" <em>

_"I don't know" _

_"That's bullshit" _

She knew that.

She was good at what she did.

Garp knew it.

Sengoku knew it.

Hell, even Bakainu and Ahokiji knew it.

When they were out in the sea, she almost was the perfect marine. She followed orders, she knew how to do it- she trained every day, and she helped with whatever she could even if it was out of her daily duties. She respected her superiors and she commented on what she was asked to comment without giving it a second thought; she was a model for the newbie's in the crew, even when Ahokiji messed with her when he appeared out of nowhere, or when Akainu made his every day goal to find something to scold her for. She still was an almost perfect marine.

But when they were at an island, it was different.

When they were at land, she couldn't follow orders.

Because the probabilities of _him_ being in the there were high enough for her to change into something else.

If he was there, she would go and find him.

If he was there, she would go and fight him

If he was there, she would disobey any order.

She would receive a scold after.

She would receive disappointed looks from her superiors.

She would lose the opportunity of ascending because of fighting a pirate without arresting him.

She didn't care though.

She'd smile.

She'd said the same excuse every time he asked or made a comment about the topic, even when it was not a good one.

Because Marco didn't need to know about it.

_"Well, I guess I'm just not good enough for it"_

No. He didn't need to know.

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><p>Leave review!<p> 


	4. Nothing more than a twisted dream

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece.

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><p>She was not there.<p>

They had been fighting with the marines for almost a whole hour, Garp's division in conjunct with some others, but Marco couldn't see her anywhere, and when he said anywhere, he meant it down to the last word.

It had been strange to not find Kaede on the island were they had been getting supplies that day- he had been waiting to hear her calling for him with a laugh, or for his crewmates to inform they had seen her somewhere, wandering the streets. He had even been waiting for Thatch to go around singing that 'his girl' was waiting for him somewhere near the port- The Commander of the third division had known her almost since the beginning as well, and after a couple of years when he realized that their… 'relation' was strange, he started to say that Marco should be grateful for having found his _soul mate _with such ease, because, honestly, where did you find someone who was willing to drink with you all night at a bar in some random island just because it was her day off and she didn't need to try and kill you right there? Someone that had actually, in Thatch's opinion, eaten a devil fruit to have the same _condition_ as Marco? _Nowhere!_

Marco already knew that Thatch's logic was impossible to follow, but that was simply _ridiculous._ Kaede did _not_ ate that Tori Tori no Mi to be with him, she had ate it so she could beat his butt in his own game, and she was damn good at it- not that Marco was anywhere near admitting that to his friend, or out of his mind for that matter.

He had been looking for her while fighting, positive that she wouldn't bear to see their rule being broken- that she wouldn't bear to see her companions fighting with him, or at least trying to, but there was no sign of the feathers that he had come so used to see. There was no sign of the short hair that was not really short anymore, but it was not like he would allow himself to acknowledge it: there was absolutely no sign of Kaede, and he couldn't help but wonder what the hell was happening. In every fight of the last eight years she had right there, almost in the front of the lines with Garp, eager to fight- eager to fight _him_, and he had been more than okay with that, since it was already a habit for him, but now Marco couldn't see her anywhere even when he was waiting for her screams, angry because someone else was fighting him. There was none of that.

There was no pout.

There was no voice calling him 'peacock'

There was no laugh.

There was no smile.

There was none of the things she wasn't supposed to do for him in the first place, the things that she did anyway.

But most importantly, there was no Kaede.

It was like she was nothing more than a ghost, a twisted memory of someone he had known in some island before or a really sick dream of his.

But he didn't like that idea either.

Because he was more than sure that she was _real. _

And by the end of the fight, Marco was positive about another thing: Something had happened to Kaede. But there was just one way of finding it out.

"What about your little Lieutenant? Was she too scared to come out and play?" He smirked, standing in the railing of one of their ships with his arms still transformed in his phoenix form, the flames dancing around him while he was looking at a commodore whose name he had already forgotten, knowing that man was the only one with guts enough to answer him. The other man kind of growled at him, gripping his sword tighter, but the commander continued with the smirk in place, sure that they were too stupid to know that it was forced "It's strange to not see that Danielle brat trying to act like a grown up and fight with us, not that I'm complaining though, she was annoying as hell" He didn't exactly like the words that were coming out of his mouth, but it was the only way of provoking the man, enough for him to tell Marco what he wanted to know. He tried to not to look at the rest of the marines present, some of them trying to stand from the ground and hold their own even with wounds on almost all their bodies

He didn't like the look in their faces, not in the slightest.

"Then you shouldn't worry, pirate, since you won't be seeing Lieutenant _Commander _Kaede for a very long time"

And even if he got to know that she got promoted, you can be sure _as hell _Marco didn't like that answer either.

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><p>"We expect much from you, Lieutenant Commander Danielle D. Kaede" She stood in front of the man's desk, firm as an statue as he proceed to write in some kind of paper that even if she tried she couldn't see from where she was standing. Kaede felt a couple of eyes on her, and she didn't need to turn around to know who was standing by the door- Bakainu had been there when she got to that office, probably wanting to see the result of his experiment, because she <em>knew <em>she was there because of him. She didn't know why Ahokiji was there, though "Your superiors had said that your tactics as well as your strength is something that they are proud to have amongst their lines" And that, certainly, was Garp's work.

"I'm most honored to hear that from you, Fleet Admiral Sengoku" She said respectfully, feeling that her new attire was rather itchy and way too tight for her liking. She preferred the simple kind of dressing of a Marine that she was allowed to wear before, but even she knew it was not intelligent to use that kind of dressing in a place like that. Kaede had received her new uniform while she was in the ship she had to take to get to the Headquarters, and that was the start of the bad feeling that was practically living in her stomach right now. Sure, she had been scolded by high rankers before, but what the hell was she doing in the Fleet Admiral's office? She had done nothing _that _bad… right? And besides, it didn't made sense for them to promote her, even Garp had said it before she parted.

"However" And that was when the scolding was sure to start, so she was surprised when there was no major changes in his face, like he thought that whatever she had done was not bad enough to receive his fury- she almost felt the need of think of that as bullshit, but she needed to remained herself that he was no Bakainu, so she didn't really had a reason to "They had told me about all your confrontations with certain pirate as well. Pirates are not more than scum, Lieutenant Commander, you shall remember that from now on every time you fight against one; to lose is not an option, to let them escape is not an option for you anymore. I understand that this kind of thinking may have come from Garp since you had been under his command for almost eight years, and if that is the case then I hope is not too late to fix it" His face remained the same even when his eyes narrowed a little. And maybe it was because of that behavior that she finally understood what was happening "You are to stay here at the Headquarters under the guidance of different high ranks that will help you to focus on your development; I've decided you are going to take a break of the sea"

_I've decided you are not going to get the opportunity to disgrace the Marine any more with your actions concerning that pirate. _

It was an instant translation in her brain because she would almost hear the words in her mind.

Because she already knew it- she would be a fool if she didn't.

It was not something new at all.

It was not something that she didn't notice before.

In fact, she had known it since the first time she met _him_ almost eight years back in the past.

Therefore, there was only one way she could answer to his words when he raised his eyebrow when she said nothing- Kaede realized she had stayed absolutely quite, most likely with a lost face.

"Am I clear?"

Then she smiled, and she hoped he didn't notice it was a forced smile while she saluted with of her hands. There was nothing to say- there was nothing she _could _say against it. It was an absolute order, something she could not go against. Not that time.

"Yes, sir" She maintained her smile as still as possible, pressing her feet down into the floor, sinking in her own misery even if she didn't want to admit it to herself. She thought that maybe Garp would be proud of her, since she didn't react as bad as she could have reacted- maybe he would be mad at her, because he had praised her honest way of being before. There were so many options. But even if he scolded her when she contacted him, it would be okay. In the end, it was her own fault after all, for believing something impossible "As I have said before, I'm most honored"

_She already knew it. _

_But it was not like knowing it made her heart hurt less. _

There was no way a pirate and a marine could be friends.

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><p><strong>How old do you think Kaede is?<strong>

**Leave review if you want me to continue!**


	5. Scars

**Leave review if you want me to continue!**

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece.

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><p><em>"<em>_Oh! This is cute! I didn't know marines accepted teenagers now!"_

_The girl that had been helping her companions to stand on their feet stopped her movements. She slowly looked up at the man that was a few meters from the ground, his arms transformed in blue wings made out of fire, a smirk on his face as he watched from above the result of his 'confrontation', If you could call it that, with the low ranking marines. Really, coming from Garp's division he would have hoped something more than what he got from them, but well, nothing could be perfect- and now he got to see a girl with short hair coming from nowhere and trying to help the weakling that were laying on the floor. He didn't know Garp allowed such people inside his lines. _

_"__I'll tell you something girl. I fell generous today, so I'll let you go with your friends, how about it?"_

_She didn't say anything to him; she even stopped looking at him, standing from the ground while helping some random man to do the same. And Marco was about to make some other comment, but then she looked at him again with the same natural eyes as before. _

_The problem was not that. _

_The problem was the fact that the other marines were walking towards the ship, leaving her behind. _

_"__I supposed I should feel flattered since you decided to stay just to look at me. I hate to break your heart like this girl, but you are not my type" The smirk was still on his face, but it disappear when she took a step towards him, hands in her hips as she smiled at him. _

_"__Well, now that's kind of narcissist, don't you think so?" _

_One second. _

_Two. _

_Three. _

_He smirked again, amused. _

_"__Oh, so the little girl has a smart mouth"_

_"__Not the first time someone had said it to me" She laughed, and that kind of reminded him of Garp "But hearing it from a pirate it's indeed a first, should I say something equally obvious about you in return? Oh… but I already called you narcissist, and that is as much as I can get from this conversation, isn't it?" She tilted her face to one side, like she was truly confused, but since there was a small smile in her lips Marco got the exact idea of what she was doing. He frowned slightly. _

_"__You don't want that pretty face of yours to be ruined, girl, right? I suggest you to just go with your friends" _

_"__Oh my, do you think I'm pretty? Now that's something I don't hear often" She smiled at him, and Marco looked at her like she had grown another head. But she just stood there, hands in her hips "So how about it?" When she looked at him again, there was something that made Marco lower himself until he was stranding a few meters in front of her. Even if it was just for a second he thought he saw a strange glimpse in her eyes, and the way she was looking at him meant something that no one had really done in a really long time. She was trying to provoke him. She wanted to fight him by making fun of him- and it was working. There was another thing as well, and that made Marco smirk with interest "Do you want to play with me for a while, Peacock?"_

_The girl was confident she could kick his ass. _

_Thirty minutes after that Marco sworn to himself that he would never confess she actually did it._

_Marco panted as he was basically forced to put a knee down to the floor by his body. It had been a really long time since he last fought with someone with such Haki, and he had to admit that he had forgotten how it felt to be beaten up like that. The pirate looked sideways at the girl that was sitting in the floor a few feet away from him, sitting on the ground with both hands pressed against the floor, panting just like him- he had to admit it, the girl was strong, and maybe, just maybe, she wasn't a teenager as he first thought… now that the actually analyzed the situation, if she turned to be as young as he had first expected then that situation would be humiliating to say the least. _

_"__Cool!" He turned his attention to her again, but she was now looking at the sky. He didn't knew why, but he looked up as well when he stood, finding that the moon seemed bigger than other nights, almost absolutely white. Quite a sight he admitted, but it was not the moment to think about that kin fog things. _

_"__Oi, you shouldn't distract yourself" He kind of growled when he places his eyes on her again, and she panted again, looking back at him. After a second she actually pouted. _

_"__You are no fun at all" She stood from her place, grimacing in the process. Once she was completely standing there was a minute of silence while the girl brushed dust of her uniform, and Marco was almost positive she was going to strike first, so he got in a defensive position even when it hurt like hell. When she stopped the movement of her hands, he narrowed his eyes, ready for everything. _

_She turned around and walked away._

_"__See ya', Peacock! It's getting rather late!" She called without turning around, jumping the destroyed part of the building that was left on the floor – when had they done that? He couldn't even remember properly, though he did remember a strong hit against something hard. The wound in his arm started to hurt again, and the pirate found himself gritting his teeth in something that resembled frustration_

_"__Wait! You can't just go, we are in the middle of something here!" _

_"__Maybe another time" The girl laughed a little, hands on her hips while walking, and even from there the man could see that she was putting too much weight in one of her legs. He should have been proud of making her more damage than what he had originally thought, but there was something that was annoying; he felt tired and there was pain in almost every part of his body when he moved, and he suddenly was reminded of how long it had been since he last fought with someone that could use Haki. He gritted his teeth- they were not over yet. _

_"__Wait, you damn bra-" _

_"__Danielle!" She smiled even thought she was interrupting him, looking at the pirate over her shoulder and stopping herself, she then half turned her head towards him. Marco stayed quite because he truly didn't expect that kind of reaction from her part, feeling like that had to be some kind of trick, but in the deepest part of his mind he thought that smile looked pretty real for being a trick, besides, she didn't look like the kind of person that used that kind of things to get away from fights. She knew his last punch was pretty strong, but she was still smiling while waving her hand high over head, like it didn't hurt at all to just move her arm, and for a moment Marco wondered if his punches had messed with her head "I don't like to be called brat, and since it was a pleasure to meet you Marco, I'll tell you that" She laughed again "You can call me Danielle!"_

"Is something wrong, Marco?"

The commander of the first division looked at his 'father'. The giant man was drinking some Sake, but at the same time was looking at him with a raised eyebrow. That was when the man realized that he was holding his right arm with his left hand, exactly the place where _she _had first kicked him- he remembered that night his arm had been hurt to the point of bleeding, and even thought it only took him to change into his phoenix form to heal it, it was not something comfortable. Most of the time he forgot about it, and he didn't want to not be able to remember it, but even he knew that it was hard not to remember something when you don't see it.

A faint memory was all left from that night. And the only thing left from the years after that. If he had something to see every day, maybe he wouldn't forget about it ever- Besides, it would be nice to have something to look at and remember everything.

All the fights and all the taunts.

The ports, the bars and the smirks.

The laughs and the smiles… her smiles.

"You know, Oyaji …" The captain stared as his son gripped tighter the place in his arm, like he was hurt, but the look in his eyes told him that it was something else. It was a look that Marco had had the last couple of years from time to time, when he just stared at the space, like he was remembering something. Shirohige knew that it was not exactly _something _he was remembering, but he said nothing to his son- he just smiled, because he knew as well that if Marco wanted to talk about it then he would bring it up himself.

"Yes?"

And just like that, the phoenix stared at the space again, lost in his thoughts. But this time Shirohige was able to hear something from the man in front of him, and maybe he was not meant to actually hear it, but it was nothing he would comment anyway.

"…Sometimes I wish I could get scars"


	6. Nice to meet you

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece.

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><p><em>"<em>_If they find us up here- well, no, screw that: if _he_ finds _me_ here, I doubt it would be pretty" Kaede looked down to the street where marines and pirates were fighting. They had gotten to that island not more than two hours ago and they were already fighting the first and second division of the Shirohige pirates- well, she couldn't really say that she was fighting since Marco had basically kidnapped her a couple of seconds before, getting her into one of the buildings that were apparently abandoned. Now they were in the last floor, looking at the fight from one of the windows. She just hoped they couldn't see them from down there._

_"__Bakainu?" He snorted, trying to guess who she meant and swinging his leg over the edge of the window he was sitting on, a smirk in his face after a second when he saw the said man basically screaming courses at his brothers- A really healthy picture coming from him "Nothing I can't take care off after"_

_"__And you ask why I call you peacock" She laughed, sitting as well but leaning against the frame of the same window, carefully crossing her legs and holding them with both hands for support, even thought it was not going to help at all if she happened to fell- not that was a problem, she could always fly before touching the ground "You are such an show off"_

_"__You are not saint yourself, Lieutenant Kaede" The woman raised an eyebrow at his words, but the mock in his eyes was unmistakable, so she rolled her eyes at that. That sort of comments were a joke now, she couldn't even remember the last time she actually got annoyed by one of them- maybe they had been like that all the time. It had been so long that she couldn't remember anymore "If I remember well, you are the one that always comes flying to our ship when your superiors want to fight us in the sea"_

_"__You do it as well!"_

_"__Never said I didn't" They both laughed at that. _

_"__So?" The pirate looked at the marine, and she slightly smiled, leaning the side of her head in left shoulder, feeling the breeze brush her face "What are we doing here? I mean, the view it's great and everything, but do you have a reason to actually kidnap me?"_

_"__Kind of a thing of the moment" Marco shrugged, slightly tilting his head to one side "And you can say that I'm bored of hearing Bakainu's speech about how I am a scum of the sea and therefore do not have the right to breath the same air of the rest of the population" A smirk crossed his lips again. She would have liked to roll her eyes at those words, but a smile almost immediately could be seen in her lips._

_"__They can accuse me of treason if they see me talking with you like this" And even if her words were true, even when they both knew it perfectly, she kept smiling and he didn't really move. Because even when it basically was a risk to her career as a marine, it was a risk that she was willing to take- it was a risk that he was willing to take with her even if that meant to fight the rear admiral, or Vice Admiral Garp, or the two of them simultaneously, because it was half his fault as well for letting their 'relation' last so long, not that he regretted it anyway. _

_"__What? We will fight" He said matter-of-factly, looking down at the fight in the streets. He could see his brothers fighting, but since he knew they were going to be fine he wasn't worried. So after a second Marco looked at Kaede again, smiling sideways like he would always do before or after a fight without fail, more carefree than he usually was. Maybe it was something that he could only be in two moments: when he was with his 'family', and when he was with Kaede "Just not now" And, of course, she smiled at that. _

_Because it was not like they were committing a crime, even when most people thought of it like that. _

"Captain. Ma'am" The voice didn't completely startled her, but it was kind of a surprise to hear someone so close to her when for a second she couldn't even remember where she was. Kaede realized she was her arms leaning against her desk, and her eyes completely glued to the wood; after a second she looked up, finding her Lieutenant standing in front of her, probably looking at her actions. She wondered how long he had been there "Are you okay, Captain Kaede?"

"Sorry" She shook her head, sitting a little bit straighter in her chair. It had been far too long since the last time she remembered something like that, let alone space out to the point of lose herself deep in her thoughts. She just hoped that thinking about that person in that exact day was some kind of signal from above "I was just thinking about something" Kaede closed her eyes for a moment, trying to recall her duties one by one "Are the preparations ready? The crew, supplies?"

"Everything is in its respective place, ma'am, we are ready to sail when you give word" She nodded, sighing slightly while moving one of her shoulders in circles, not really caring if that was something she shouldn't do in front of her Lieutenant- She had known Toshiro almost since her first day at the Headquarters, four years ago, and she was as comfortable with the man as she could get with any of her companions. Besides, he already knew about her… _unique _way of being "And there is another thing" He added after a second, catching her attention.

"Yes?"

"The new Lieutenant Commander is asking for permission to come inside the ship, ma'am" She could have sworn that there had been a grimace on his face, but as quickly as it had come it disappear "Should I let him in?"

Those words were followed by a silence that lasted maybe too long while Kaede tried to digest that information. Kind of lasted a few moment until the woman smirked, knowing exactly why he had that face. He probably was just praying that the new officer wouldn't be as stupid as to start a fight with her, even when it was most likely.

"Yes, is not like I can't deny it anyway" She nodded her approval, reaching of the white 'Justice' coat that was hanging at the back of her chair, placing it over her shoulders "And besides, we don't want to leave a bad impression, right, Toshiro?" The man stood there for a moment before nodding slowly with a salute before turning around and walking out of the room. When she found herself alone Kaede let out a short laugh, something that could pass as an amused gesture.

She had _almost _forgotten about the new official.

A Lieutenant Commander that asked for permission to come inside a _ship_-the ship he had been assigned to, nevertheless. Now that was something you don't see often. What type of person had Sengoku assigned with the mission of keeping an eye on her? Now she couldn't imagine it. Since she only knew the name and the fact that he had been promoted just recently, at first she had pictured someone like Bakainu with an absurd sense of justice, someone that wouldn't let her do all the things that the Fleet Admiral was afraid she would do now that she had her own ship, or more like now that she was allowed to go out of the Headquarters, but with that type of request she didn't know what to think.

The look in his face when he had told her about the new Lieutenant Commander that was to be in her ship was _hilarious_.

Not that she could actually blame him, she _did _start a discussion- ahem, confrontation- with him the Fleet Admiral when he started his speech of how she was going to be able of going out to the sea with an "And I suggest you to not think that this gives you the freedom to do whatever you want, because even _you _have to respect the decisions of other people"and the only reason why she didn't screamed to him was because he had compared her with Garp in every possible detail that a marine could be deficient at, and for Kaede that was more a compliment that anything else. She had even laughed like Garp, just for the sake of annoying Sengoku.

His face was priceless.

A knock in the door was her clue to smirk again, but just for a second.

"Come in" Her voice echoed in the office before the door opened. Instead of Toshiro's black hair and blue eyes, the only person that basically had something to do inside that room when she was there, Kaede looked at a man with brownish hair covered with a 'marine' hat, someone that curiously had an 'X' on his chin. She wondered if it was a tattoo or a scar, but she didn't really have the time since he was already saluting her.

"Ma'am" By the voice, she could say that he was younger than her, maybe for a couple of years. He stood straight in his place, waiting for a response from her part.

"Lieutenant Commander Drake" She said, tilting her head slightly towards her left, placing a hand on top of her desk "Am I right?"

"Yes, Captain Danielle, is an honor to be under your command" He saluted again, and Kaede looked at him, basically analyzing the man in front of her desk. He stood right there without moving a muscle, holding her eyes, apparently used to that kind of action from his superiors. His face was far too neutral for her liking, but she could see that he really was something completely different from what she expected.

The man looked a little out of place when she stood from her chair and walked around the desk until she was standing in front of him. If he was not used to see woman taller than him, then he didn't show it in his face even when he obviously noticed it, but the thing that she did show was the slight surprise when she smiled wide at hi, extending her hand for him to shake, like they were in the same rank even thought it was not that close. He looked at the hand, then at her face, unsure what to do, but she kept smiling. After a second he slowly shook it.

"It's nice to meet you, Drake, please take care of me from now on"

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><p><strong>And I think we all know that Lieutenant Commande, right? <strong>

**By the way, she was 25 the last chapter, now she is 29. **

**Leave review and I'll continue**


	7. Where everything started

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece.

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><p>"Check each one of them with the files that the Headquarters send us a week ago, and after that you send them to Garp-san immediately, he asked personally to work with them. Until then, you keep them out the streets and the eyes of the people, we don't want them to cause them more trouble" Kaede looked around, her hands on her hips after she gave Toshiro the documents she had been holding "Have someone gone to the civilians to announce that is already safe to come to this side of the city?"<p>

"Yes, two of our men, like you ordered Captain Kaede, ma'am" Kaede nodded at the words of the man that had answered, saluting at her as she walked past the fainted men that they had been following for weeks, and since she didn't recognize the voice or his face that meant that the man was part of the division they had been working with for two weeks now. At first she had been there to supervise everything, but since there were more possibilities of attack than what they had calculated she had to work on the plan as well.

"Make sure to thank them for their cooperation"

"Yes, Ma'am"

The random fabric that she used to cover her head when she was at the bar spying their target was still on top of her shoulders, but the improvised hood was now down. Kaede had to admit that it had been really fun since it was the first time in years since she got to go uncovered to somewhere- that didn't mean she loved the grey skirt that somehow she had ended up wearing, but she had to admit as well that it made a pretty nice outfit in conjunct with the white bottom's shirt and the black jacket. She had refused to let go of her boots, and she was almost sure that she looked maybe a little too carefree for a marine her rank, but she liked it anyway, and since when she cared for things like that? Kaede even thought that it was a good choice to use that kind of clothing as a regular one, just for the sake of seeing Bakainu's and Sengoku's angry expression the next time she saw him.

"Excellent job, Ensign Hina, I'm very happy to have worked with you" The woman turned to see the woman that was standing near her, with a cigarette in between her lips. At first you would think that she was way too young to smoke, and maybe she was a little too young to do so, but she was one with strong personality, Kaede had to give her that; the captain even had the impression that in some future Hina would be just like Tsuru-san, and _that _was a lot to say.

"Thank you very much, Captain Kaede!" The young woman saluted, and she wondered for a second where was that Smoker-brat, because if she could remember well the few times that she had seen Hina as a lower rank in the marines the grey haired teenager had been always around her with the same expression. Kaede swore he was going to get a permanent frown on his face before he turned thirty.

"I hope my crew and I have the opportunity to work together with you and your team again, maybe some time in the future"

"We would be most honored" She smiled at the youngest one at that.

"I'll go back to the ship" Kaede said in a loud voice, starting to go up the stairs to the main street. She then turned around at her crew, who were looking at her expectantly, even when most of them already knew what she was going to say- they were even grinning the same way she did after a second, giving her words a hint of enthusiasm "You can have the rest of the night for yourself, use the time wisely!" She was sure their cheers could be heard from the other side of the city, but she just laughed at their attitude- she remembered that Garp did the same thing to his subordinates even before she became a Ensign, so obviously she could remember how funny it had been when other crew's told them that their superiors never did things like that. Since the first time she had to power to do so, she started to act almost like that old man, first because it was nice to have a good relation with her crew, and second because it was damn funny when Sengoku said that he expected her to start break down walls to come into rooms at any moment, not that it was a bad idea anyway "Yes, that means you as well, Drake" Added the captain when she saw the face that the now Commodore was making.

In the last half year Drake had proved to be an almost absolute perfectionist. At first she _really _feared for him since for a seconds she thought that maybe that was the start of a way of being similar to Bakainu's, and _that _was something to fear, but he was softer than the rear admiral, so she was relived. Actually Kaede had the impression that he didn't approve at all her open-minded way of being, but he was a good man, he made sure that everything was in perfect condition for anything that could come up at any second, and she could trust him, so there was no real problem.

Sure, it would be nice if he didn't have a frown on his face every time she did things like that, but he still was a good man.

Drake didn't turn to be the babysitter that she had waited from Sengoku, so in her opinion it was opinion.

Besides, it was amusing to prank him, even if he started to say that _maybe _she should _start _acting like someone her age. The face he had put when she asked him if he was calling her old was absolutely priceless, she even had Toshiro to take him a photo and now said photo was safely locked in her office.

"Is that an order?"

"Would you like me to make it one?" She raised an eye brow, an amused smile on her lips.

"You are way too care-free, Captain" Drake sighed in a low voice, but not enough for her not to hear.

"Not the first person that have told me that" Kaede laughed, shaking her head since the strands of hair was getting in her eyes again- maybe it would be a good idea to cut it soon. After a second when he kept frowning she tilted her face to one side, looking sideways at her crew "Keep an eye on them for me, please, I know they are not in their best shape when they drink too much, and I know that is exactly what they are planning to do. I do not want them to cause any problem to the civilians, they had had enough for tonight" There was a surprised look on his face before he turned as well, like he never thought that she had that kind of reasons. Not that she could actually blame him, she did acted like a carefree teenager most of the time. After a moment he nodded, looking at her again.

"Hai"

"And you should enjoy yourself as well, you deserved it; having to deal with me day and night is tough, let alone live in the same ship as me!" She laughed, waving her hand over her head as she walked the rest of the stairs, turning in the corner that she knew leaded to the ports where they ship had anchored- she was sure that Drake smiled at that, and she made a mental not to mess with him other day because of that. Maybe it would be a good idea to go with them since there was no really paperwork, Hina said that she was going to do it, but at the same time Kaede knew it was not a good idea to drink at that moment. Sure, she had a really strong tolerance to alcohol, but that moment was different and maybe she wouldn't be able to keep track of her actions after a few drinks- even if she was kind of a man when it came to drinking competitions, that time was different.

It was because of the island.

She knew she was going to feel that way when she first got the order of dock and help in that place- she could remember it like it was yesterday, even when it had been twelve years since she had some when she was a low ranking marine that had just come inside Garp-san's ship as his subordinate and apprentice. That was the problem, she could remember it _perfectly_. She could remember _him _perfectly.

It was because she was at the island where everything started.

The island where they first met.

Maybe it was stupid to hold that fact inside her memory for so long, but she did it anyway.

If she got drunk, she would probably start talking about_ him_ for hours and hours.

She would probably say that he had been a jerk without really having a reason.

She would probably say as well that Sengoku was a jerk for getting her inside the Headquarters because of a pirate.

She would probably curse anything and everything on the world.

Then she would probably start crying.

And that would be humiliating, and sad, and everything she was against and tried to avoid since she had memory.

Kaede already knew that her sadness was not something she would drink off, and she was almost okay living with it, because it was not like there was something that she could actually stop. What was done was done and the past was in the past. The woman tried to shake the feeling pressing her chest when she turned in another corner, breathing deeply for better results, even when it was almost the same. Kaede tried to focus on other thing, like the fact that she already got to the port.

Like the fact that there was a group of people standing near her ship.

The captain stopped her legs for a second, tilting her face to one side, sighing a little after stretching her neck a little.

Pirates.

She knew it even before getting close enough to see their figures lighted by the port's lamps.

Kaede stood there, narrowing her eyes as she tried to listen to what they were saying, catching faint sound from their direction. Two of them were wanted man, she thought she remembered their faces from the posters in her records even though she couldn't really remember and even if the rest of them were giving her their back she figured that wanted or not she needed to be careful with them as well.

One of them turned slightly around, speaking to his crewmates as he did so, scanning the alleys carefully for any sign of life- he probably was the group's leader. She tried to hide herself as much as she could when his eyes got near her position, thinking about using the shadows behind her to do so when she realized that fighting them was not the best option at the moment since she could get some information from their conversation, but she couldn't move even a centimeter when they made eye contact, her breath caught in her throat as he blinked several times in confusion

She knew him.

She remembered him.

The spark that crossed his eyes told her that he remembered her as well.

And Kaede could suddenly see the Jolly Roger tattooed in some of the man's arms.

_Whitebeard's pirates. _

"_Damn it_"

She ran in the other direction as fast as she could, far from that place, closing her eyes tight when she heard the same man call for her when she turned in a corner.

She didn't dare to stop, not even more a second.

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><p>"Are we ready?" Marco turned around slightly, arms crossed over his chest as he looked at his crewmates carrying boxes and other things inside the ship. The constant tap of his shoe in the ground was a sign that he was stressed, and the way we scanned everything with his eyes every five seconds told the rest of the presents that he was in something like a hurry, thing that was extremely strange in him "The marines are too busy to notice that we are here, and I prefer to keep it that way until we are ready. We have been here far too long"<p>

It was a lie.

And he knew it.

They didn't need to know it as well, because he already had a hard time keeping up with his own thoughts, the last him he needed was people teasing him the rest of the day like they had teased him the last five years. It was a wonder how he hadn't exploded yet, and maybe it was just because his Oyaji had said to him to take it easy, since worrying was not going to take him anywhere- but Marco was _not _worrying, because you got worried when something could go wrong, you got worried when someone you knew was in trouble; the person that was the cause of his stupidly space out was nowhere near him, therefore, he _couldn't_ be worried because she wasn't there.

Or maybe that was the exact reason why they thought he was worried.

He shook his head, trying to think straight.

It the island's fault, so many memories were affection his perspective.

That's the reason he wanted to get away from it as quickly as he could.

"It may take us a little while, we are talking about supplies for two of the biggest divisions, Marco" A voice came from a man that was passing by his right, a couple of smaller boxes in his arms. The commander of the first division sighed deeply, trying to breathe the same amount of air after a second. He could almost feel a headache coming from the back of his head, and that would not be pretty- it was the last thing he needed right now.

"Thatch! What happened? You look like you had seen a ghost!" They all turned around with that exclamation, founding that the commander of the fourth division was breathing heavily, almost panting, with his men trying to catch up with him from the distance even when they were out of breath. Thatch pressed his hands to his knees, trying to breathe, his eyes closed as more people gathered around him by each second passing. Marco made them take distance since his friend looked like he was going to pass out at any moment, raising an eyebrow when the man opened his eyes again, looking straight at him, opening his mouth as he tried to speak as clear as possible.

"S-she... At the port!"

"Oi, oi, calm down" Marco took a step forward, frowning hard. Normally Thatch was not like that- he was supposed to be the 'calm and easy going' one, and seeing him like that was sign that something was completely out of place. Or that he was drunk, but since he had gone out saying that they were going to take a look at the marines, Marco doubted that option a little "Take a deep breath, what about the port? The one at the other side of the city? You came running from that one? No wonder why you are like that"

"Marco, you don't get it" He breathed deeply, shaking his head from side to side, almost too quickly, and Marco really thought that he was drunk at that moment, at least his way of acting would be explained "I saw her! She ran from me, but she's still in the island, you can catch her if you go now!"

"Thatch, what-?"

"Kaede!"The scream was heard in all the deck, and after a second comments broke the silence that had somehow ended in the deck with his voice. They knew her- they even wondered if she had been promoted and why she hadn't come to say hi yet, because even if she was a marine she was still _that _Kaede, the one that made fun of Marco with them, the one that drank with them in the past; they laughed as hard as possible, waiting for the first division commander to react, but he was kind of frozen. Marco just stood there, barely listening how some people asked who she was, because they had not been there long enough to know her. Thatch smiled, shaking his shoulders to make him react "I saw Kaede, Marco! She's here, she's in the island!"

_She's here. _

There was a small voice at the back of Marco's mind that started to repeat Thatch's words so he would actually understand them, since he thought that he was getting it all wrong. Maybe the idea of Thatch being drunk could not only explain his behavior, but his words again.

_She's in the island _

Maybe he was starting to see things.

_I saw Kaede, Marco. _

And there was something that started to wake inside his head when the name rang again, standing a little bit straighter when the name crossed his mind. He tried to remind himself that it couldn't really be possible, since there was no really sign of her anywhere; he tried to remember all the times they had encounter Garp's division, and she had not been there.

He really tried.

_Kaede. _

He jumped off the ship.


	8. What freedom felt like

God… This fic has more than 2,000 views with only a few chapters, thank you so much! I really thought that nobody was going to like this.

**I was thinking about getting someone to draw a scene of the fic, what do you think? If you have a particular scene in mind or a person to ask just tell me and I will try to get it drawn!**

**Recommendation: I read this awesome fic named "How it's perceived", you should read it! It's great! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece. **

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><p>Kaede breathed deeply, resting her shoulder against the wall.<p>

Her cloak was practically and quite literally soaked, not doing much to protect its user from the rain.

If she had an umbrella with her everything would have been much easier and less cold, but she had nothing but that fabric to cover her head and the rest of the body, and it was not like she actually knew that it was going to rain at a moment like that. It had started a few minutes before when she was still running, so fast that she didn't even saw the path the was taking. She groaned, growled, and whimpered almost at the same time when she found herself in an alley way to known for her liking.

Her inner self was basically crying when she saw the building that they had basically destroyed more than ten years ago, now fully recovered. Because _of course _she had to end up in _that _precise alley.

She suddenly felt light headed, enough to make her put a hand on her face. She didn't exactly knew why she was getting away from the wall when it was better to have someone as support, but she took a couple of steps away from it anyway, passing the corner and besides the alley. The captain lifted her head at the sky, noticing that even thought it was still raining the clouds were slowly moving away, letting her see a part of the night sky.

It was actually really depressing.

A small yelp escaped her lips when a hand closed around her arm, dragging her to one side. The before small feeling now turned into nausea, and the fact that she wasn't really standing straight on the floor was something that didn't help at all. She put a hand over her mouth just in case, even when she had nothing in her stomach to puck- maybe that only made it worse. She couldn't really now, since her head was now kind of clouded.

"You shouldn't be wandering alone this streets, marine" Kaede heard before she opened her eyes, feeling how a person was putting hands on her shoulders so she wouldn't fall to the floor. The smell of alcohol was strong, just as the chattering that could be heard, and with that she figured they were standing behind a bar "Is quite dangerous at night" When she was conscious enough, Kaede opened her eyes, blinking the blur away as she lifted her head, finding a man looking at her.

Finding _him _looking at her.

There was a really long and deep silence after that, and Kaede used that time to process what was happening.

Or more like checking who was in front of her, just in case she was starting to see things. Wouldn't be a surprise, mind you.

You would think that there had to be lots of things going in her head at that moment, but the truth was the her head was almost completely blank. The only think that she could actually think about was the fact that she had a really twisted luck, and that it was probable that someone from above was laughing his head off right now because of her misfortune.

Oh, and that Sengoku was going to be really pissed when he found out about this. And since that was not a bad thing at all, her brain started to work again, noticing the raised eyebrow that Marco had.

With that she realized after a second that maybe she should say something, _anything _at all before that situation became awkward.

"Oh my, is that so?" She tilted her face to one side, getting the idea of what he was doing. Actually maybe it was better that way, since he wasn't really asking any questions "It has been quite a while since the last time I set foot in this island, I have to say"

"Even for a high ranking marine as yourself this place is something to fear, since you never know what you can find" He put his hands on his hips, maybe trying to look dangerous . If her heart hadn't been on her throat because of the situation, Kaede would have laughed her head at that, but since she couldn't she just stayed there, smiling sideways anyway "But you had the honor of finding me of all people"

The words were out of her mouth even before she could actually think of what she was saying.

"Well, now that's kind of narcissist, don't you think so?"

One second.

Two.

Three.

He smirked, absolutely amused. He even chuckled a little.

"So the lady has a smart mouth" He smirked, and the moment seemed so natural, so carefree, that she couldn't help but feel for a second the same thing that had ran in her veins years ago, in that same island, they first time they met. She was even tempted to ask if now she was a _lady _and not _a girl _since it was a great improvement, but there was a knot on her stomach that didn't let her find the amusement in her situation.

"Not the first time someone had said it to me" She laughed a little, trying to smirk, but everything that she could actually muster was a small smile- the whole weight of the situation slowly getting to her. Kaede blinked the small tears that touched the corner of her eyes, clearing her voice as much as she could while she tried to say the same things of so many years ago "But hearing it from a pirate it's indeed a first, should I say something equally obvious about you in return? Oh… but I already called you narcissist, and that is as much as I can get from this conversation, isn't it?" She tilted her face to one side.

"Now, you don't want that pretty face to be ruined"

"Oh my" She breathed deeply, trying to chuckle, but she found that she couldn't do it at all- Kaede just hoped that the it wouldn't tremble while speaking, since that would not be good at all. Not now, not in front of him; she had to smile "Do you think I'm pretty?"

"Yeah, I think so"

_"__You know" She looked up from her cup of tea at the man sitting across from her, getting a bad feeling when she noticed the seriousness on his eyes. She gulped slightly, suddenly feeling like a little kid that was about to be scolded, not even daring to move her hands to put the cup down on the wooden floor. Suddenly, there was complete silence around there, and where there was chatter just seconds before, now it was nothing more than low muttering "You can't be like that forever"_

_"__What do you mean, Garp-san?"_

_"__You can fool everyone else, but you certainly can't lie to me" He didn't move, nor his body or his eyes, completely focused on what he was saying. Even if she was sure she had not done such a thing, Kaede was sure that whatever he was referring to was not a usual topic of conversation "Is slowly eating you, I can see it, from the inside out every time you smile. You can't act like everything is okay forever" There was a long silence after that, her expression dropping to a blank one with every passing second. _

_Kaede pressed her lips together, closing her hands into fists over lap and breathing deeply. _

_ "__I certainly can try" _

_She didn't even try to think about denying it. _

_And Garp looked at her for a long minute, like he was waiting for her to say something else, but it was not like Kaede knew how to handle that kind of situation. She sat still in her place, waiting as well, refusing to break eye contact because she felt like that was going to show some kind of weakness, and that was something that Garp teach her to control. The old man sighed deeply, taking a sip from his tea after a moment, closing his eyes. _

_"__You are going to break like glass Kaede; someday, you will. I just hope there is someone with you to pick up the pieces" _

When she was at the academy, her mentors said that she wouldn't be a good marine.

She was way too soft to be one, they said.

And she was something that a marine couldn't afford to be at battle. She was a sentimental person- they said that she would get herself killed if she didn't get a grip of herself, and they really tried knock some sense into her head; after a year or two, they labeled her as a lost case since she didn't seem to get the idea. Years after she went with Garp-san, when she found them at the Headquarters, they basically said to her that she shouldn't be a marine at all.

To say the truth, at times Kaede thought the same thing.

When she was alone.

When nobody could see her expression.

When she didn't have to smile, just because she didn't really knew how to deal with things.

Suddenly, as she leaned on the wall behind her with a blank expression, smile completely gone from her face, Kaede realized that she was exhausted.

Mentally exhausted. Emotionally exhausted.

She realized that she was scared, but she still knew that she couldn't afford to be scared.

Or cry. Or ask for help.

Maybe they were right from the beginning; she wasn't fit to be a marine at all, even when she was strong. Maybe deep inside she had known it since the beginning as well, since she was a low rank with an unusual ability to fight, even before she entered the academy years ago when she was still a silly girl that didn't even know what the hell she could do to control what she could do- she could remember that her first months on Garp's ship she had been scare too, almost in the same way as now, unable to move and at the bridge of tears.

But then, she met Marco.

She could remember the first time she saw him, blue flames dancing in the air without a care in the world when he entered the alley, covering them as her friends aimed at him. She remembered that he had laughed at that. Suddenly she felt extremely jealous, and at the same time eager to meet him, just to test if he was as free as he looked. He turned out to be more like than that, and she found that she couldn't stay away from him no matter how hard she tried- she had been terrified of how she lost control of her thoughts when they fought, but at the same time, she couldn't help but wonder if that was what freedom felt like.

She pushed herself to be the perfect marine, because she found that the taste of freedom was greater when they fought after that. It was not long until she realized that it was because of the act of doing something that was virtually forbidden for her.

Now, she was terrified again.

Because she had changed, _he _had changed.

If she lost control again, was it forever now? Was there a way of going back? Probably not.

Yes.

They were right.

She wasn't fit to be a marine at all.

"Stop it" He warned with a semi serious expression, holding her wrist as if she had been moving it, even when she was almost as still as ice. Her expression was conflictive, and even if the small tears were going, there was something far more worrying deep in her eyes- the glimpse of sadness was something Marco was definitely not used to see in her, and it was a thing he didn't want to see again, it was just not even right "Whatever you are thinking about, it's not worth it"

"How do you know I'm thinking about something bad?" She mumbled, not making any effort of getting away from his grip, not even making an effort of making eye contact.

"Because your head is definitely messed up, and you probably think too much about stupid things most of the time. Just stop" Normally, he would laugh, or smirk, but his face was serious, his eyes so deep that she had to look at other side, evading the feeling "Look at me, only me" He almost mumbled, and even if there was rain outside and there was chattering of people on the other side of the wall, probably coming from the Bar behind it, they both were not loud enough to shut him. It was likely that the only thing that she could listen at that moment were his words. He pressed his hands to her cheeks gently, turning her head to his way, making her look him in the eye as he leaned closer, his eyes completely serious "Or I won't forgive you"

When she was little, Kaede was afraid of fire.

Even if it was as small as to be a candle's fire, she didn't want to go near it. She really thought that the simple fact of standing close to it would burn her, and there was absolutely nothing she was more afraid of than fire- she could even remember that one time, after her mother died when she was ten and her father was working, there had been a terrible storm, and all the electricity had been out. It didn't matter how scared she was, how dark the house got, she refused to light a candle.

Now she was standing close to it, so close, that she could feel its flames cares the skin of her hands. Don't get it wrong, it did burn, down to the last memory of the past years, and maybe that was what she had been afraid of all that time, to burn the bad things away and fly far away from what pained her- even if it was for a second, Kaede thought that she could truly be free.

She didn't know yet how to burn her chains, but for a second, she thought she didn't need to worry.

He could do it for her.

"_I'm way too selfish_"

And Kaede chuckled slightly, a smile on her face when Marco leaned closer. She wondered if he heard her words, even when she knew that they were nothing more than a whispered- what she even brother to say something at that moment? That was a question that wouldn't be answered, not in that moment, nor in the future.

"Is that so?"

They knew it was not okay.

They knew that they should stop it before it even started.

They knew that they were reaching a point where there was no coming back.

Believe it, they knew it was wrong.

And maybe at the eyes of someone above them, what they were doing was considered as a sin.

But it was not like they were not prepared to ignore it.

Because it was not like they were commiting a crime.

They were just happy.

* * *

><p>"Commodore Drake" The man looked sideways at the men that were getting inside the ship, one drunker than the other. It was way past midnight and since the cold of the night was kind of refreshing she just stood there without his cloak, looking at the city. You would think that he was just enjoying the view, but if you could read his mind you would find that he was actually waiting for something… more like for someone "We didn't know you were here, sir" Drake didn't say a thing, looking back at the city.<p>

The woman had not returned since she ran past him without really paying attention to him, and he was positive that the crew hadn't seen her either- she was way too careful to let herself be seen by the exact people she was hiding of. He realized she didn't want to be disturbed when he saw her running away from the ship, eyes tightly crossed and the fabric covering her head, her coat nowhere to be seen. Drake kind of realized as well that he wasn't supposed to be there when he found the group of Whitebeard's pirates walking away from their ship after he continued walking, trying to find out the reason why she was running like that. Or more like he was _exactly _where Sengoku wanted him to be; in a place where he could see if his superior was avoiding what she was meant to avoid.

He had been told about 'Phoenix Marco' by some people at the Headquarters, even by the Fleet Admiral himself- Sengoku had said that he was not allowed to _allow _her going anywhere near the Whitebeards pirates, even if it was a coincidence to find them on their way, thing that wasn't supposed to happen, but that was just happening now any way.

It was a simple procedure he had to remember even before he had met her; they saw them, Drake made the captain go in the opposite direction, and then he contacted Sengoku.

Seeing the circumstances he should tell the crew about them; he should send a few man to find their captain before she found _him_ inside the town, to bring her back so they could take measures and call back ups. He didn't know how the Whitebeards pirates had gone unnoticed inside the city, but the correct thing was to do something about it and quickly when they still had the chance- they had not make any damage to their ship even when they had the opportunity to, but they were still a threat.

It was the correct thing to do.

_ "__You know, Drake" The captain smiled, leaning her arms on top of the railing, looking at the waves that moved the ship. The man looked over his shoulder, wondering if someone was close enough to hear what she was saying, but she kept smiling even when she noticed. After a second Drake turned around to look at her again, and she had her head tilted to one side "Even if it's just once, I want to see him again"_

"Captain Kaede is now sleeping in her room" He finally said, uncrossing his arms and walking past them, towards the other side of the deck, not looking once at the low ranking marines- it was not like they would be able to see the lie in his eyes, because he wasn't really thinking about it anyway. He had said it before in his mind, the first time they met; as a person, he was completely sure that someone that smiled like her couldn't be able to do something wrong, and as a marine, he respected her, and he could even say that he was loyal to her. "Make sure not to disturb her"

She was capable enough to take care of her own actions, and if he could help that captain in anything, then so be it


	9. Small but meaningful

Just so you would know, this is about three years after the last chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece.

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><p>"You knew it was going to hurt"<p>

"I know…"

"The woman _told _you it was going to hurt a lot in that place"

"I know…"

"And you were the one who wanted to do it in the first place"

"I know…"

"So if we think about it you don't really have the right to whimper like a scolded puppy, because it was your fault anyway"

"I already have Bakainu at my back every month to remind me of every mistake I have committed since I was seventeen years old, I don't need you to do it as well, Peacock" She mumbled, looking at him sideways. If it wasn't because of the fact that he was holding her and that she would crash into the floor if it wasn't because of his around his waist and the arm that she had around his neck, she would have kicked him, _hard, _but for now she couldn't do much "Besides, _you _were the one that offered to go with me- if I have known that you were going to try and act like him then I would have bought Drake… Oh, wait, he wouldn't have even let me inside the shop" A expression of deep concentration crossed her face for a second, and Marco couldn't help but chuckle a little at how childish she looked- If it wasn't for the fact that he knew her for a really long time he would have thought she was a woman in her early twenties, thing that was kind of far from the reality, not that he was going to say that aloud since he appreciated his life, thank you very much "Thatch, I would have brought Thatch"

"He was not here this afternoon" He reminded her, completely amused by her reactions. It was kind of stupid since he was completely used to them, but he tried not to really think about it "Only the first division and the fifth came in the morning, he's probably getting here right now" She grimaced for a second before speaking again.

"…Then Toshiro"

"He would have said the same things as me"

"Someone of my crew"

"Doubt that's part of their job"

"Then I would have come alone!" Kaede kind of pouted, exasperation and frustration clear in her voice, half stamping to the ground the feet that she so carefully had been lifting to avoid exactly what she was doing. Seconds' later tears perked the corners of her eyes, and her expression changed to one of pain as Kaede bit her lower lip, trying to silence her whimpers even thought it was way too late "Bad idea! Bad idea!" She half screamed, jumping the only feet she was using to walk, bringing a couple of curious stares to her while the marine basically jumped on Marco for support.

The man rolled his eyes, because _of course _she would be the only person on the planet to forget that she had just gotten tattoo on her ankle while walking. Actually that was half the reason for why he was there; earlier that day just after they anchored in the island where there was no marine base, when Kaede told him about what she was planning to do Marco immediately imagined every scenario where she ended in the floor in a way or another, each one of them as possible as the other.

Second thing he thought was that she was crazy, and after that he thought that since Bakainu and Sengoku would be furious if they happened to see it maybe it was not such a bad idea. Because, really, at first sight and _if _you got to see the tattoo there was nothing weird with the blue feather that hugged the ankle like a bracelet, and even if you got close enough to see that it was a fire feather, you wouldn't make the connection, because there was absolutely _no way _that a Rear Admiral could _possibly _have some kind of relationship with a pirate like him. But for people that actually knew about it, the story was different- for example, if someone like that Drake brat happened to see it he would probably go all crazy and would try to fight him again, what would end on Kaede getting mad at _both _of them, thing that was not fair at all, and then he would look at Marco like he was scum, thing that would end up on Kaede hitting both of them, _again_.

The other half of the reason was that he hadn't seen her in what he thought as a long time, maybe three or four months since the last island. For them as pirates with a crew as big as theirs it was kind of easy to evade marine's ships (a.k.a, disappear them like they had never existed in the first place), but since she _was _a marine there was no really escape for her and her crew- it was still a wonder how she managed to chose islands where Sengoku wouldn't find her for a day or two, or hear about her, but they were safe as long as they didn't stay long; a day or two, three top.

It was not the best of the best, but it was something.

It should be enough.

That didn't mean that Marco wasnt irritated by why they went through all of that to see each other.

He was happy because in that kind of islands there was no need of hiding from someone, they could walk side by side and hand by hand without people thinking that it was a crime- hell, he was a _pirate_, and the very word basically meant that he could do whatever he wanted; at least most of the time he did whatever he wanted.

But with Kaede was different.

Because it didn't matter how many almost lawless island they visited, or how much time they expended evading the Headquarters' eyes, or how much time they expended looking for a place to expend the night because there was no possible way he was going to set foot in her ship and vice versa, mostly because the crew's teasing was going to be eternal if she did so.

It was something that couldn't by a simple tattoo, even when it did mean a lot for both of them.

Because there was a thing that could but at the same time couldn't be changed, not matter how many things they did together.

Kaede was a marine.

She would never fully enjoy the freedom that he had; the one that he lived each day of his life and that he showed to her only in that kind of islands- she would never know what was to do what you wanted without restrictions, to follow your own dreams and not a whole organization's orders, to speak your mind without fear, to act according to what you feel and not what you know you have to think about. She would always be in a cage, just big enough for her to open her wings and try to fly.

The small but meaningful moments were all they had because of _them_.

That was why every single time they saw each other, from the very morning of one day to the morning of the other day, during and after he was with her for basically every second of the day, he couldn't help but think about a question that he had came up with years ago- it had always been the same, since a really long time in the past. Maybe even after they started a whole level in their relation, during the time where she had been at the Headquarters and he had enough time to rethink about things.

When she looked at him again, puzzled because he was way too quiet, he was certain of how offended she would probably feel if he even dared to ask. It would be asking her to quite everything she had worked for the past fifteen years, but on to top of everything, it would be like asking her to put her pride aside and admit that she couldn't with them- Marco_ knew _how often she tried to prove to her superiors that she was capable enough to stick to her guns, she basically lived for that. So, even if the question was at the tip of his tongue, he wouldn't say it.

"Is something wrong?"

_Do you want to come with me?_

"No" While interviewing their fingers together, he thought that he was doing the right thing. She had never looked down at him for being a pirate besides the normal 'I'm going to arrest because I have to', and it had been years since the last time she actually said it to him, therefore it would be too selfish to not do the same. Marco sighed, pressing their foreheads together, repeating those things in his mind as she looked at him curiously, not really believing in his words "Nothing at all"

It was better if she didn't know about it at all.

* * *

><p>"To the new Rear Admiral, the only marine we don't want to send to hell! Mostly because she would come back from it even before Marco get the chance to kick our asses just to do it herself!The one and only, Danielle D Kaede!" Those words created laughs at the rest of the bar, and even Thatch himself burst of laughing before taking air again, raising his glass high over his head with his right hand, the other firmly put around the woman's shoulder, much to Marco's enjoyment since she was fighting to get the drunk man off her "Cheers!" His words were followed by a chorus of 'cheers' and more laughing.<p>

You could say that it was absolutely incoherent since they were a group of pirates' celebration a marine's promotion, but it was not like anyone was going to say something about it. Some newbie's were still a little too much uncomfortable in that kind of situation, but it was nothing they were not going to get to used to- the one person that probably would never accept that it was a normal thing was the Commodore that now was sitting in a chair besides the Rear Admiral, arms crossed over his chest and a poker face on. Marco was even tempted to ask him what the hell was he doing there if he didn't like it, since he didn't like him following Kaede around like a puppy, but he didn't want the woman to start scolding him, so he bit his tongue.

"Come on Drake, don't be mad" Said Thatch, obviously drunk, throwing a arm over the other man's shoulder, offering him a drink "We kind like you too, right, Rear Admiral-sama?" He asked mockingly at the woman, who laughed while nodding.

"Yeah!"

"Was that supposed to make me feel better?" He growled, trying to take the arm off him.

"Yes!" Basically everyone laughed at Thatch and Kaede's exclamation, and even Drake himself smirked a little, quickly trying to hide it with a grimace. Marco chuckled amused with that when the woman sat by his side again, smiling brightly to him before turning her head around to talk to Thatch again, laughing at something the man had said.

As cheesy as it sounded, he wanted to treasure those moments- he really wanted to. Mostly because moments like that showed him that there was no really need for the question that almost slipped from his mouth.

But if he had known what the future was going to bring them, he probably would have asked when he had the chance to.


	10. Like it had never mattered at all

**Okay, I just have to say that this is****_ probably_**** the most dramatic thing I have ever written in all my life. It was really serious turn of events, and actually I'm not really sure about this, but well, what the hell, I already wrote it. **

PS: Three years after the last chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece.

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><p>Before the cannons even touched her ship and the screaming of her crew got to her ears, before the blow and the sharp pain at her back when she hit the wall of her office, the blur when she opened her eyes after that and the red of the blood that came out from the wound that she had received in her head, Kaede remembered that she had received a letter.<p>

A letter that she had been waiting for weeks and weeks since it was difficult to keep communication that way, and right from the beginning there was never a guarantee that neither of them was going to get it one time, or get it at all for that matter. They couldn't talk through a Den Den Mushi because there was a possibility they could be intercepted by someone like Bakainu, who seemed to know everything her crew did, so letters were the only way to keep in touch. It had had been almost two months since she send hers, and she could remember being extremely happy when in the morning a parrot dropped the envelopment on the deck of her ship.

She didn't even had the time to open it.

After the accident, the letter was found under all the destroyed wood that was left of what once was her office in a surprisingly good state; Drake was the one that found it, and he was the one who brought it to her in her room at the Headquarters, one morning when she was trying to keep food in her stomach. The paper was grey because of the dust, but besides that he said that the letter was in perfect state.

She wouldn't really know.

Kaede couldn't bring herself to even look at it without feeling a worthless piece of scum.

"Is there anything relevant that you want to say?" Sengoku looked at her from behind his desk, hands crossed over the wood and a serious expression that made obvious how important was the matter at hand. Kaede stood there, almost emotionless, her skin looking almost as white as the bandaged around her head, or the band aid in her cheek "Was there a detail that you maybe had forgotten the first time I asked you?

"No sir"

"Very well" He nodded, stretching his hand for a folder at his left- She could see that it was the folder of the report that Drake had written for her, insisting on doing so even when she said that it was fine. Obviously he didn't thought the same thing "You are dismissed"

She saluted, and empty gesture that was accentuated by her blank expression before she turned around, walking towards the door in almost a robotic way.

"Rear Admiral Kaede" She stopped at his call, but Kaede didn't turn around. She didn't care if that was not a proper thing to do, she didn't even care that the rest of the high ranking marines where present in the office to see how she wasn't even trying to act like she should act around them. Hell, she didn't even looked at where Bakainu was sitting, probably with a frown in his face, just to mock him with a smile. In fact, she couldn't remember the last time she had smiled at all, and even in her messed up mind that was something kind of disturbing "I'm sorry for your lose"

You would think that it was an extremely big thing to Kaede for Sengoku to show humanity towards her, but actually deep inside she was sick of those words, but it was not like she was going to say it aloud- it was not like she was going to say anything of what she was thinking aloud, half because it was not like she ever liked to do it, and the other half because it has been days since the last time she had a really coherent thought, therefore she couldn't really know what she was thinking. But she did remember those words and the meaning behind them, since it was the same as that moment when she opened her eyes in the infirmary two weeks ago after her crew barely got out of the surprise attack of one of the Yonko, when Garp approached her bed with a serious expression in his face, a doctor walking close behind him; Drake's expression. She could remember the bad feeling that she had at that moment in her stomach, and she could remember as well wishing to go back to sleep, to never wake up again.

She was still wishing for it, every time the night came and there was the need to sleep.

But the nightmares always woke her.

"…Thank you, sir"

Kaede walked out the office.

It was kind of ironic since it was the first time she wasn't there to be scolded, and it was the first time she was in the same room as Bakainu and Ahokiji without starting an argument that would probably last hours and hours before they destroyed something- It was something she would be mad at in any normal circumstances, since she kind of made their discussions her favorite hobby and life goal, but that was in no way a normal situation. As a proof of that every single person in the hallway turned around to look at her when she set foot on the corner.

She even thought that Hina and Smoker had been standing when she was passing- Kaede could barely remember Drake coming inside her room with flowers almost the first day after waking up, saying that the Ensigns had send them to wish her a 'quick recovery', but it was not like she was really paying attention to her surroundings at that precise moment. What was she going to see anyway? People looking at her like they had been looking at her for the past eight days? With pity? She was already tired of it, and found that ignoring everything was the best option to keep her mind going without snapping at someone, thing that was getting more and more probable with the passing hours.

Countless flowers had arrived in the past days at her door, all of them delivered by low ranking marines, sometimes by high ranking like Tsuru and Garp, each one of them received by Drake, who had basically been living in the chair besides her bed because he apparently didn't trust her judgment right now and apparently expected the worse in case she was left alone; each one of those flowers from people that didn't knew half of what really happened.

_Of course_ Sengoku had manipulated the news when he first found out.

Because it would be a_ disgrace_ for the marines if the truth came out- she even wondered why he hadn't warn her about saying anything about it, but maybe it was because she was way too off to even think about her duties. They had even given her and her crew two weeks off until she was good enough to sail again.

Not that she was going to do it for a really long time.

She wouldn't be able to pass one day out in the sea without having a nervous breakdown.

"Kaede-san…"

The woman lifted her head at the call, finding that not just she had arrived to the door of her room, but that all her crew was standing besides the door. There were several bouquets on the floor, the flowers giving color to the wooden hallway, but it was probable that nobody was paying attention to them. She wondered for a second where she would put the, but then she looked at their expressions again and bit the inside of her cheek as hard as possible. It was true sadness she saw there, more than anything she would get from others, but it was not what she needed at the moment- What she needed at the moment, or more like she needed at the moment, was something she couldn't bring herself to look for.

She felt ashamed.

She felt disgusted.

She felt unworthy of whatever she would get in her life from now on.

But she still stood there, to even say a word about the matter. Partly because she knew that _they knew _they were able of going out the sea to get _him_, to say something about what was happening, to give him the news, and that was exactly what she didn't want to happen. Marco couldn't know about it.

He would_ not _know about it.

"I told all of you that I wanted to be alone" She whispered, walking pass some of them until she almost reached the door. Her throat was dry and sore because she had not really used it in the last days until now, when she was called to give a oral report about her living experiences in that battle. That was probably the worst thing they had made her do, but she was capable enough to understand that it was necessary- it was obvious that her crew had been mad when they got to know that morning, and the same thing happened with Garp just before the meeting started. He had refused to stay inside when she started to speak, since he had already heard about her point of view from her when she was still in the infirmary, trying to recall every single detail "I… I told you…"

"I know" A voice came behind her "We know. But with all due respect ma'am, that is something we are not willing to follow" She didn't need to turn around to know that Drake's expression was the only one neutral enough to enter the category of concerned. His sad looks had been stopped some days ago, and maybe that was the only reason why Kaede let him stay around her almost all day and night.

He had been there as well when she opened her eyes in the infirmary.

Actually, he had been the first one she saw when she did it, right after the white ceiling of the room. And for what she understood, he was the first one to know about what happened to her- all Kaede could guess was that he was there when the doctor told Garp. He was the first one she asked to keep silence, to keep it a secret- In fact, she would have liked to never know about it herself. And that was when the pain crossed her heart once more, because she knew that it was not true at all; Kaede _knew _there was no way she would _ever _wish for something like that, but the desperation was sometimes stronger than her. Something she was not used to.

She was just begging for a way to take the pain away.

_"__You received way too much damage in that fight- you were stuck under lots of wood, it's a miracle that you are alive" _

A whimper escaped her lips, and the covered her mouth with one hand as her knees got weak to the point where she ended up in the floor, supporting the rest of her body with the hand she had pressed against the floor.

"Kaede-san!"Drake was at her side after a second, kneeling besides her in the floor, probably with a worried look on his face, thing that was rarely seen. She didn't look at him though, not even when he put his hands on her shoulder and tried to steady her since her body was slightly shaking, taking deep breaths as he looked over his shoulder at the people that were looking at them, completely unsure of what to do, because really, what do you do when you see the person you thought to be as strong as not many leaders to break down, right in front of you? "Bring the doctor, quick!"

Kaede wanted to say that she was alright, that there was no need to call someone, but there was no way she could actually say something to someone in between the sobs that she was trying to hide vain, the one that even molested her to breathe. She really wanted to open her mouth to say something, anything at all, maybe to say that she wasn't in pain anymore because that was the absolute truth- she didn't need more medication, she didn't need more people looking at her like she was going to break at any moment.

She was physically fine already.

It was like it had never happened, since her body felt the same as always, like it all had been at really bad dream.

Like it had never mattered at all.

_"__We did what we could"_

_"__It was already too late. We are sorry" _

"I'm sorry" She murmured, closing her eyes as tightly as possible, hugging herself as to keep her body together, since her mind seemed to start falling apart. If she had been stronger it wouldn't have happened, if she had been more careful everything would have been fine- but she had been weak, and now she was paying the price. She thought that she had absolutely no right to feel as miserable as she felt since it was her fault in the first place, but no matter how hard she tried there was no stop for the tears running down her cheeks nor solving for her broke voice, as tiny as a whisper that not even Drake could really hear when she bent over her knees until her nose and forehead were almost touching the floor "I'm so _so_ sorry"

But saying that was not going to work anyway.

Not now.

Not ever.

* * *

><p><strong>Prize: If someone happens to figure out what this chapter means, I will 1) give that person spoilers of everything she (Or he, in case that a man have the guts to endure something as cheesy as this fic) wants to know, 2) give that person the opportunity of deciding what happens next, or 3) Write extras or one shots or even one long fic of whatever that person wants. I know is not much and is kind of stupid when is rather obvious what this chapter is all about, but it makes it amusing, so yeah, I wish you luck! Just leave a review with your guess, the first person to say the correct thing wins!<strong>


	11. Thank you

**IMPORTANT:**

Okay, so I don't know if you know but right now I have three fics with three different OC, three different couples (Like Fire, Ace x OC. My good girl, kind of Doflamingo x OC x Law, but is mostly about Law. And of course, The Pirate and The Marine, Marco X OC) but I got the idea of kind of 'mix' them, so I will probably mention things from those fics in the chapters that are about to come, because seriously, it sounded great in my head. Is more something for me and it doesn't really make a difference if you read the other fics or not, but I just thought you would like to know why I'm mention random things, even if they are rather small things.

For example, in this chapter I'm going to mention something from the Doflamingo X OC X Law one, My good girl.

That's all, thank you for your attention.

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece.

P.S: You thought a good thing was going to happen? Wrong! (P. S 2 concerning first P.S: Don't kill me please)

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><p>"Let me get this straight" Kaede looked over the folder she was holding in one hand at Toshiro, who was standing in front of her desk with his arms firmly pressed at his sides. You would think that he would be more informal after all those years with her, but he was as firm as always, so much that even Kaede had give up on making him relax his attitude a little. The look of incredulity that had been on her face just seconds ago when she first opened the folder had been completely replaced with a somehow deep frown, and that gesture alone was enough to make Toshiro stand up straighter in his place "Sengoku wants us to basically go to the other side of the world to gather information about Portgas D Ace's latest movements?"<p>

"Yes, Ma'm"

Kaede threw the folder over her shoulder.

"Screw them"

Well, actually, screw Sengoku, there was absolutely no way she was going to go after that kid in particular, and she was completely sure the fleet admiral knew why- I mean, he seemed to know everything about her life before she even entered the academy, so it shouldn't even be a surprise for Kaede if he knew about every single connection she had had in the past.

If it had been Thatch, or Jozu, she would have gone, or at least she would have considered it until the very last detail, just for the sake of looking at their faces personally again after so many years. But that mission was different.

The kid was dangerous, she knew it. She could remember the reaction at the headquarters when he refused to be a Shichibukai- she could remember laughing her head off with Garp after that, strategically hidden from unwanted eyes, mostly because she had been absolutely relived. In her opinion the Shichibukai were as strange as most of the things that could be found out in the sea. She even remembered seeing a little girl with Doflamingo one time, when she was assigned to guard the doors to Mariejoa for one of the gatherings of the Shichibukai. Kind of funny it was since at first Kaede had seriously thought that she was a doll, being so tiny and having such a doll-like dress; the marine thought it was definitely because of the Doflamingo's unique fashion sense, _if_ you could call it that way. With that she got to the conclusion that she truly couldn't understand even one of the Shichibukai- Heck, she didn't want to even remember the last time she saw Hancock. _That _had been something annoying as hell.

If the kid had gotten himself inside the group of "government dogs" it was most likely that she would have cried. He was just not fit to be one of them. Even if being a Shichibukai she wouldn't have to fight him, it was for the best.

She wouldn't touch one of his hairs, and that was _final_.

Sengoku knew it.

He knew that she knew that he knew.

And that was exactly why the mission was complete bullshit to her.

Besides, she had accepted to go back to the sea with the condition that she was going to stay out of the grand line for most of the time, and that had been the last year. Even if the weather in the North Blue was near to freezing, she was not going to go the New World to accomplish something that in the first place she had sworn not to do.

Therefore, she was going to say it again:

_Screw. Them. _

"The crew wants you to make space in your duties and eat with us tonight when we get to the next island, Ma'am" The man looked at the folder in the floor, not even surprised by her action, and looked at her again with the same expression. Kaede knew that he had probably already refused the mission and only showed her the information because of formalities

"Really?" She blinked in surprised, kind of touched by his words. Her expression immediately changed into one of slight fear, though "Please tell me is no one's birthday today! Oh god, I wouldn't be as stupid as to forget something like that, right?" The woman murmured, holding the small calendar that was on top of her desk and passing the pages with something near a worried look, but after a second she frowned and stopped. She looked at Toshiro again "Do not answer that" Warned Kaede.

"I wouldn't dare, Ma'am" He coughed a little, probably trying to hide the smile that crossed his lips "There is no apparent reason, they just said that they wanted you to"

"Thank god" Kaede sighed in relive, resting her back against her chair and dropping the calendar on its place once again. She looked sideways at the documents occupying most part of the wood and nodded to herself "Very well, I will try and finish all this paper work by late afternoon, we will be getting to the island around that time, right?"

"Yes"

"Good" Kaede nodded again, smiling at him "You can go and rest now, Toshiro, thanks"

"Ma'am" He saluted, turning around and walking towards the door. Kaede tried to stretch her arms as much as she could while sitting a little bit straighter in her seat. She had lots of things to work on until they reached the island, so it was better if she started as soon as possible, even if she had learned to hate and fear the paperwork- If she had been a little bit more like Garp, thing that could certainly kill Sengoku of a heart attack, she would have left Toshiro do it, but the man already had too much work keeping an eye on her "Sir" She blinked in surprise before lifting her face again, finding that the man was saluting at somebody at the door. Toshiro quickly went of the room and the other man came in, closing the door behind his back and walking towards her desk, the same neutral expression as always.

"Ma'am"

"Drake" She greeted, smiling at him mockingly "I think we have known each other for far too long to keep up with the formalities" Kaede laughed a little "Besides, we are the same rank now, right?" He slowly nodded, almost immediately looking at the coat on his shoulders. She had to admit that it didn't look completely right, but she was not saying a word about it "How the time goes flying, don't you think? It feels just like yesterday since you first came into my office" She tilted her face to one side "By now you should be more than happy to have the opportunity of free yourself of me"

Actually, in theory he would have had to go away when he first turned into a Commodore seven years ago, but he had stayed there anyway. It was the same as Toshiro because even when the man was already a captain he had not gotten himself his own crew, thing that most of the times came with the rank. Most of her crew had stayed there even when Sengoku had attended to separate them lots of time, and that was why more than once Kaede had thought that she was going to end up in charge of the G – 5 when she was sent to the sea again. It wouldn't be a surprise at all, to be honest.

In fact they all had been waiting for it.

But Kaede supposed that from the outside and to people that didn't really knew about all the problems that she had gotten herself into with the Fleet Admiral and the now Admirals Bakainu and Ahokiji since she was a low rank marine, her crew was an exemplar one, therefore Sengoku couldn't really do anything besides accepting that _most _of the time she was the perfect Marine.

_Most _of the time.

Reason why she couldn't understand how the man that was now standing in front of her desk could have endured her all those years.

"I would never think of such a thing" He said. For anyone else his face would have been perfectly neutral, but Kaede knew better and that was why she could see the small smile on the corner of his lips. She laughed at his words, tilting her face to one side.

"You are too gentlemanly for your own good, Rear Admiral Drake" She chuckled at his grimace "I'm looking forward to the day you present me your future wife" Kaede said mockingly, even thought it was completely true. It was not like she was planning on controlling his life or anything, but she _did _wanted to see the day when he would get married. It would be like a miracle or something "Anyway, do you need something? I doubt you came in to listen to all the incoherencies that usually come out from my mouth"

His expression completely changed, and she could see that his eyes harder a little, like he was debating between telling her or not- and that _most _preoccupying from someone of her crew, because she made it a life goal to be as open with them as possible, knowing that she could receive that same thing back; besides, Drake had never _ever _doubted about something before. Kaede narrowed her eyes a little, but he opened his mouth at last.

"I came so say goodbye"

Now _that _was something that she was not expecting.

And Kaede was pretty sure that her brain stopped functioning for a second, because there was a small black out before she recovered herself from the surprise.

"Goodbye?" Kaede repeated, and when she realized that her voice sounded tiny and almost she was about to cry, she quickly shook her head from side to side as if trying to erase the fact that she was sounded as a kid in the middle of asking something with tears in her eyes "Are you getting relocated so soon? Strange no one has told me about it" The woman tilted her face to one side slightly, looking at Drake as he nodded a little at her words.

"I'm not as important as you think, Kaede-san, at least not enough to write a report" She rolled her eyes.

"I still think you are way to selfless, do you ever think about doing something for yourself?" His expression was extremely scary for her, because she got the feeling that she was not supposed to say that at all- his expression was almost like he was feeling guilty about something, and at the completely uncomfortable. So uncomfortable that she felt the need to change the subject as fast as possible, thing that she tried to do while standing from the chair and walking until she was in front of him, putting her hands on her hips "Don't ever say goodbye to me, Drake, you know it gives me a bad feeling. Besides, is not like we are never going to see each other again" She tried with a somehow nervous smile on her lips "And we still have to eat all together, right? When we get to the island"

His expression was worse, almost like she had touched a point that he hoped she didn't get at all, and just because of that Kaede tried to explain it in her head. Sure, it could be sometime until they saw each other again, but she tried to think about it deeply. Was there _any _possibility that they were not going to see each other again? There was never a guarantee, but it couldn't really be _right. _

She opened her mouth, but then Drake did something that she would have never expected in that moment.

He hugged her.

When she started her duties at the headquarters almost two years ago, when she could barely eat and was most certainly near the point of the complete breakdown, he had stayed with her most of the time- she hadn't ask him to do it, he just decided to do it. He was the one that proposed to go every year in the same day to the temple to pray after the accident, the one that actually started an argument with Bakainu when the man said that she was deplorable. They had been labeled as a couple by other crews a couple of times in the past, thing that ended in a fight between her men and the other crew's members because that certainly was a topic that not even them dared to touch, but he was still there, by her side.

Drake was most probably the best friend she had ever had.

But he had never hugged her like that- like they really were not going to see each other again. Kaede suddenly wanted to cry, even when she had sworn not to do it in front of him ever again; suddenly, she wanted to say something against it, but she stopped herself because of how selfish that sounded- he had done so much to her, couldn't she let him do whatever he wanted? Besides, it was Drake, he would never do something wrong. But even thought she knew all of that, even when she made up her mind, what she was left with was his whisper seconds before he let her go and the picture of a really small smile crossing his lips. So small that she could actually think it was a sad smile.

A picture that was going to hunt Kaede for the rest of her life.

"Thank you for everything until now, Kaede-san"

He didn't appear at the large dinner that had taken place in the ship's galley.

The next morning she received word from Toshiro that the Rear Admiral Drake, with almost half of her crew, had betrayed the marines over the night and were now official pirates.

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><p>So just to have the timeline clear, I read that Drake's betrayal had been relatively early before the two years skip. So that's basically around the time Luffy got out to the sea for the first time.<p> 


	12. Likewise

So! As a request of the winner, xXxWolvesInTheNightxXx, for being the very first one to answer correctly, I present to you a One Shot concerning the Whitebeards. The truth always first, I have to say that even if this is a really short thing I really liked it because even if is an extra I kind of got the opportunity to write one or two interesting things, and I just hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece.

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><p>Because of her carefree way of holding herself inside the world and her open minded attitude, thing that she probably learned from her mother when the woman was still alive and trying to knock some sense into her daughters head before Kaede turned to be a cold hearted person like her real parents most probably were, Bakainu used all his free time to state that apparently her head was as empty as a bubble, and the man expended so many months saying it that most of the persons at the Headquarters actually started to think that it was true, and even Sengoku always looked at her like she was about to do something incredibly stupid, like she was some kind of time bomb.<p>

Despite all of that, Kaede knew she was actually quite intelligent.

Sure, she was kind of crazy and probably didn't have sense of self-preservation at all -she _did _enter Garp's crew voluntary, thing that put her sanity at consideration by more than one person since the first minute she started to pack her things to move into his ship, and even now she was considered as an suicide person- but she still was an intelligent person, at least inside the respectable standards of the marines. She had really good grades at the academy when she was still in it, and she was a damn good strategist when she needed to be one- Not that those occasions were seen often, because with Garp you learned how to act first and think about it later, even if it meant to put your life at the line.

Still, she always considered herself as a pretty normal person.

But now, she started to think that maybe they had all been right, and that maybe, _just maybe_, she actually was a little messed up in the head.

Because, if you think about it _really _carefully, if she was as intelligent as she claimed to be, wouldn't she had kicked Marco's face until he let her go in peace, like she had been doing before he had just decided to kidnap her in the middle of a street on her way to the centre of the town in her only day off in months? If she were as intelligent as she thought she was, then why wasn't she getting the hell out of that place instead of just standing there?

"So" When she looked up again, calling off for a minute her planes for kicking Marco's ass, she thought that maybe she wasn't as afraid as she should have been in a situation like that one- Maybe that was the non existence of her self preservation kicking in, and maybe that was exactly what she needed at that minute to not jump off the ship since if she went flying then the stupid Peacock would go and chase her and bring her back, and now _that _would be embarrassing "You are the one my sons had been telling me about? The girlie from Garp's crew?"

Okay, so she was not your average twenty one-years-old young woman since she was quite tall for a person her age- she was almost as tall as Marco, and she had had some kind of pride on it in the past. But said pride was shattered the moment Marco almost literally dropped her on the Moby Dick's deck in front of the captain of the ship. The man was _huge, _so much that she was absolutely sure that he could break her in half with one hand, and since he was known as the man able of destroying earth, he was quite capable of doing it, too.

Not the best fact to have in mind at that moment, really.

"Yes sir" But still Kaede found herself nodding at his words, not even a slight hint of malice or sarcasm in those words. And she still thought that maybe her brain didn't comprehend the situation at all, because she still wasn't as scared as she should be. But you couldn't really blame her, she had been thought to be a polite person at every moment, mostly because she had learned that was the best way to annoy our enemy, but it worked as well at the time of meeting new people "Danielle D Kaede"

"D, eh?" She didn't quite knew why, but the smirk on his face was the same type of smirk that Garp had had on his face the first time she had started a fight- err… _argument _with Bakainu; the kind on smirk that had the people when they found something extremely amusing, but Kaede was pretty sure she had not done anything to actually deserve it, but she kept her mouth shut anyway, because it was not as if he was insulting her or anything "You look quite a fighter, girlie, are those wounds what I see?" Kaede blinked a few seconds before lowering her eyes to her arms. The bandages that she had changed in the morning where snow white in contrast with her very slightly tanned skin. The woman grimaced a little, snorting in the process.

"You can thank your Pineapple headed son for that, you have any idea of how much time I spend training every day just to kick that stupid smirk of his face? I have a record to maintain" The words were out of her mouth even before she could actually think about it. It was partially because she was use to mean everything that came out of it, but right now honesty maybe was not the best option in the world. She quickly looked up "With all due respect" She added after a moment, kind of wishing to have some of that self preservation at that moment. But contrary to everything she thought it could happen the giant enormous man laughed, and snickers from different people of the crew could be heard- not at all like Thatch, because he didn't have touch and was actually laughing his head off while almost rolling on the ground.

Now that was something interesting to see.

"You have quite a smart mouth there, girlie"

"Not the first one that had told said that to me" She snorted again, even when the smile was still on her face. Marco looked innocently at her when Kaede stared meaningfully in his direction, but the smirk in his place was something that gave him away "So? May I know the reason why I have been kidnapped today? This is the third time in the past two months Marco, is getting kind of old, don't you think?"

"Today is your day off" He shrugged, and his statement sounded almost like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Kaede knew him pretty well, normally knew what he was thinking, but right now and then she didn't feel as intuitive and just stared at him with narrowed eyes. His famous smirk appeared in his face, but he explained anyway "You don't even fight _me_ on your free days, so it was safe to bring you to Pops" She would have said that it was an incredibly stupid thing to say, and that she was pretty offended- Heck, Kaede even opened her mouth to say it aloud, but then she remembered the small fact that most of the time she seemed to forget, but that Marco so easily had pointed out. She was a _marine_, and she was _supposed _to try to harm them in any way possible.

She even lost count of all the times they had tried to get to Shirohige- they had expended weeks to try and predicted where they next would be; but there she was, standing in front of the man with the rest of his crew staring at her like she was the most entertain thing in the world- they were probably wondering if she truly was a marine, because she certainly didn't look like one without the uniform. In Kaede's opinion she didn't look like one even with the uniform on, but she was not about to say that aloud.

Obviously most of them didn't trust her enough.

But they trusted Marco.

That man knew the limits of their 'friendship', the one that built between them some kind of connection where trust was something they didn't even need to think about. Sometimes, most of the time, he knew that she somehow needed to follow her duty- But no in days like that one. At some point she wanted to ask why he even knew about when her days off were.

"Now, why do I feel set up?" She mumbled, placing her hands at her hips, but even when she actually meant her words a smile was almost tattooed to her face at that moment, even though it started more like a smirk than anything else "And? Why exactly you wanted to bring me here? You do know that this is my first and last day off in, like, four months or so, right?"

"He said he wanted to meet you"

"Actually, _he_ said that _he_ wanted me to meet you, but there is no big difference, right?" A really long minute of silence came after Shirogihe's words, and Kaede tried really hard not to breakdown at that moment. It was not easy, mind you, and after a second a laugh escaped from her mouth, even when she had her hands over it. The captain had a raised eyebrow while looking at her face when she closed her eyes, trying hard not to laugh aloud, and he just couldn't help but say something again when the discrete laughs started to be heard in the deck "Guarararara, I guess I wasn't supposed to say that"

And Thatch was in the floor once more.

But this time, almost everyone on the deck did the same thing- almost including the woman, but she set the laughing aside for an even bigger goal.

And Kaede swore she could see Jozu laughing by the corner of her eye, but she couldn't really fully see him because she was waaaaay too busy looking at Marco flushed face. Now _that _was something that definitely _did not _happen often- In fact, it was the first time in her life that she had seen it, and she was _so _going to remember that picture for the rest of her life, and she certainly was going to make sure that the commander did the same thing.

"You remind of someone I meet a long time ago, girlie" She managed to hear over the laugher, and even if she was not facing him she just knew that Shirohige was staring at her. That man was strangely similar to Garp, because he did the same things at the same type of moments "Kind of difficult to forget people like you" He added after a second.

When she didn't look at him- when she didn't even move her head to do so, it was almost as if the time stopped for a second. The same second when the smile was out of her face and instead there was just a blank expression, the second where her eyes became a little bit darker, like she was suddenly really angry. It was just a second, and you wouldn't really be able to see it if you weren't paying attention, like most of the people on the deck, but Shirohige surely noticed.

And it seemed that it was just what he was expecting.

And the few people that were listening to their conversation thought that maybe and just maybe their father's comment had a different meaning, kind of a hidden one.

But then, she smiled at the captain, her hands once more on her hips while she tilted her face to one side.

"Oh my, would I make a fool of myself if I take that as a compliment?"

The man laughed again.

"It's nice to finally meet you, girlie"

"Likewise, old man"


	13. Foolish foolish little girl

And here, what pretty much everyone had been waiting for.

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece.

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><p>"Okay, I give up, where's the catch?"<p>

Kaede leaned in her seat, arms crossed over her chest and a truly annoyed expression on her face. She had been expending the last half an hour going throw the documents that had been handed to her, searching for anything that could tell her what kind of things they were expecting from her- she had been trying for the past half an hour to find out what the hell Sengoku _really _wanted her to do on that mission, for example to kill somebody in specific or kidnap a commander, but there was not even a single thing like that in the folder that was now placed on top of the table besides her cup of tea, the one that had long ago lost its heat. She was sure that something was going on there, put she couldn't really put her finger on it; he had tried some really dirty tactics in the past, each one of them destroyed by Garp or by her in the act, but none of them had been as casual as that one. It was _almost _as if he didn't have second intentions with that.

But that, certainly, was impossible.

Something just _needed _to be wrong.

It had been extremely suspicious when Sengoku not just called her to 'discuss' a couple of things, but because he called her to 'discuss' a couple of things _over a cup of tea_- Their normal war zone was his office because it was a place where nobody would actually be present if he didn't want to, and the mere fact that he was taking their discussion somewhere else could only mean that something was wrong, and that she would most probably hear something she was not going to like in the slightest- maybe all he wanted was a place where they could be some kind of witness. Since the second she set foot inside of the tea room and looked at his calm face, thing that usually wasn't there when she came within twenty meters of him, she vowed to not believe a single word of what he was going to say.

And she was _so _going to stick to her word.

And, just for the record, she had been right until some point; because when she first read the words 'Whitebeard's pirates' all of that became a really big bullshit. And the first thing she thought was that all that procedure was some kind of sick and twisted revenge because of her new rank, thing that made sense since Sengoku was the one that actually decided to give it to her, but she knew that it couldn't really be true because usually the things that he worried about the most was Kaede shaming the marines. Well, actually that was Bakainu's worry, but it was something that Kaede _supposed_ Sengoku felt as well.

"There is nothing like that" He didn't even seem to try and sound honest, just taking small sips from his own cup with his eyes closed, almost like there was no need of making it look like the truth since it really was the truth- Kaede had to admit it: he was a pretty good actor as well "I have plenty of trust in you, I just hope you understand that"

"Do you actually mean for me to believe that you will just give me a mission like this as a sign of _faith_?"

"Yes"

"_Plenty of trust in me my ass"_

You would think that it was normal for him to say that since she was a high ranking marine, and it really would be normal if she wasn't Danielle D Kaede- she was 'The Hero' Garp's apprentice, the only person in the whole headquarters that had the _guts _to call Akainu Sakazuki Bakainu because of how narrow minded was his absolute sense of justice besides of stupid, she was the only one to actually say that in the Admiral's face, the one that had actually declined to go after X Drake even thought he had betrayed the marines _and _her over the same night, the one woman marine that in her almost twenty years had had over thousands of fights with the most powerful pirate's crew and had never actually arrested even one of them, nor did she intended to do so. How would _anyone _who knew about all of that have the slightest sign of faith in her abilities as a marine? She certainly wouldn't.

Twisted revenge? It would be more like a test of loyalty, if anything. And part of her couldn't help but wonder if Sengoku had been waiting for her to get to a really high rank to put something like that on the table, had he planned it when she first met Marco? Or was it when he discovered at the same time as her what was her family tree? There were so many options that Kaede really tried to block those thoughts in order to not have a headache.

"Okay, let's do something" She mumbled, narrowing her eyes a little. She would take that situation like most of things in her life, lightly, but there was absolutely no way she was going to let that man play with her with that type of things- there was _no way_ she was going to accept that mission without being sure that there was nothing sneaky in it "Let's say that, for a _second_, I accept this mission; what would I have to do once I get to their location? To check on them, and then what? Come back and report you about how they live their everyday life?"

"You could get close enough to not be shoot by cannons" Sengoku commented, and she certainly noticed that he didn't answer her question "If you don't accept it I would see myself in the need of sending someone else, and if that's the case I don't think those pirates would be as considered as they would be with you" His eyes were piercing but it was something that Kaede was so used to it that it didn't have effect on her. She still had her arms crossed over her chest, a gesture that she had learned from Garp, and that was the only thing that prevented her from slamming her hands on the table "They would boarded on the spot"

"First time I heard of a superior blackmailing an officer" Kaede mumbled, but looked at the folder anyway.

She couldn't shake the feeling that she was being set up. And it was likely for the real plan to be exactly that- she could very well refuse it, but she knew that Sengoku was able to really send another team to get near the Moby Dick if she did so. Sure, there were almost thousands of ships trying to track their movements, but it was different; and as much as she hated to admit it, the Fleet Admiral was right: They would be boarded by the Whitebeard's pirates in matter of seconds- she could almost see in her head the picture of the blue flames covering the ships, hundreds of men inside. Hundreds of people with a family waiting for them somewhere. Parents, brothers, sisters, wives, lovers.

… Sons, daughters.

That was probably the dirtiest tactic she had seen Sengoku play.

And she had seen a lot.

"Do you expect me to send them to Impel Down?" She didn't look up, her jaw as tight as a knot. She could very well snap at that moment, but everything would be worse- there were some basic rules when it came to that kind of situation, and they were basically were the 'give and take' for business. Moral had nothing to do there, even when that was what most people thought the World Government represented, what people believed and trusted.

It was funny, since she didn't know what it represented to her anymore

"Do you really think, that as a marine, you would have a choice in the matter if the time came?"

Most of the time, she wished to go back at the time when she was a low rank marine.

In theory at that time she didn't have a choice either, but when she was younger and the world wasn't as mess up as it was now, her position gave her enough freedom to do almost whatever she liked.

Deep inside, she knew things were going to change.

But she had been foolish enough to believe that if she ignored it, nothing would ever happen.

Kind of worked for a time.

But not anymore.

"A choice? Not at all" She reached for the folder with her hand just seconds before she stood on her feet, something in the middle of a smile and smirk on her face "I know I would never have something like that" It was nothing more than a mumble, but she was pretty sure that Sengoku had heard her, the way he frowned was everything she needed to know it. If he had been Bakainu he would have already started to yell at her for her strange behavior, and about how much he disliked the mere idea of trusting in her, but Sengoku stayed in his place with arms crossed over his chest. Kaede turned around before she reached the door, bowing her head a little "Thanks for the tea, Sengoku-san, never tasted something quite like it"

"Prepare everything, we are going!"

Nobody even dared to ask one question when her voice boomed in between the ships anchored under roof- not like it was necessary to do so, because her crew was more than ready for that kind of things. Kaede was amazed at how well Toshiro and the rest of her old crew trained the newbies, the ones that at the start had been almost scared of being under the orders of someone that could pretty much be crazy for all they knew. You couldn't really blame them, because they did heard that she was Garp's apprentice, and that certainly couldn't be good.

She could remember when they asked about X Drake, and how they almost immediately tried to make her forget they ever opened her mouth.

It really amused her.

It was something that many people had asked her in the past year, but nobody ever seemed satisfied with her silence. She really thought that it was more than a good answer, at least in her opinion, but later found that most people didn't think the same way. She didn't bother to explain it either, because there was nothing extraordinary to explain in her situation, because, really, the name of the thing he changed himself into was more than any explanation.

Freedom.

"Did something happen, Ma'am?"

Kaede froze just a few feet away from her ship, one hand on her hip while the other tightly grasped the folder, and she couldn't help but feel like she had been found in the middle of doing something that she was not supposed to do- Like a kid when is found by his mother painting on the walls, the kind of feeling that left your heart beating really fast and a emptiness in the bottom of your stomach, as if you were jumping off a building without the guarantee that you were going to make it safe and sound to the floor, no matter how short the distance is. But in her case it was not something that you could easily see, something that apparently had caught Toshiro's eyes.

Almost like he knew what she was feeling. Almost like he could _see _it.

It was wrong.

She knew it.

She really knew it- she had known it by heart even before Drake betrayed the marines, an almost too long time ago.

Maybe since the beginning.

"Nothing, Toshiro, nothing at all" And she smiled over her shoulder at him "We are visiting someone, that's all" It was selfish- it was way too selfish. But she couldn't help it, not in the slightest.

She was happy.

Maybe, deep inside, she still was that foolish little girl.


	14. AN

Sorry.

I'm so but so _so _sorry –bows her head-.

Since the beginning I really tried to avoid things like this, but this time it seems that I just get things right. I guess that you could guess it from the last chapter, which in my opinion was almost completely crappy, and it honestly was a blow to my pride as a writer, so in order to make things right now I HAVE to ask for help. I have a really good scene going on right now, but before it I need to find a Beta reader that helps me put my ideas in order so I don't mess with it, so _please _if you know one that could help me in something like that tell me so I can uptdate the next chapter.

I'm really sorry, so but_ so_ sorry to bother all of you with something like this since I'm supposed to deal with it.


	15. Blue

First of all, I'm really sorry for that moment of weakness, I really don't know what got inside of me at that moment. Just so you would know, I was almost having a nervous break down because I really don't want to mess with this fic, but thanks to the Beta Reader, **April June Pearl**, I could get out of my mental lapse.

Again, sorry, and I just hope you like this chapter.

Please let me know.

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece.

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><p><em>"<em>_If you want to come here to ask for an apology from my daughter, first you should go back to your house and think if your brainless and spoiled brats actually deserve it!"_

_Kaede closed her eyes tightly for a second, the sound of the door closing with all of her mother's strength echoing in her ears even after a couple of seconds. She flinched slightly when she heard how the older woman started to mumbled under her breath, probably cursing the woman that she had just seen- it was the third mother that actually came to their door asking for the same thing, and Kaede had been pretty sure that her mother would snap at any moment. It was dangerous since her father was not there to stop her from whatever she could do when she got angry, what mostly and normally included several victims and broken furniture, because with her small frame Kaede certainly was not up for something like that. _

_When the little girl opened her eyes again, looking for her mother from her place behind the corner of the wall that leaded to the stairs of their house, she could find the woman at the kitchen. Her long black hair fell at her back with something like an enchantment that Kaede just loved to watch, but she knew better than to admire her natural beauty at that precise moment, because even from where she was at the other side of the room she could see how hard she was holding the counter with her hands, to the point where her knuckles were completely white. Her mother could be scary when she yelled at people, but in Kaede's opinion she was even scarier when she didn't say a single word, when she just stayed like that._

_With timid, small and almost completely soundless steps, Kaede went out of her hiding spot and walked through the living room. Kaede could still smell the cake that her mother had been baking just minutes before, and the silence that surrounded her was nothing like the peaceful air that had been until that moment. Her mother didn't move from her spot besides the counter, her face and body still bent, and Kaede played with her fingers nervously when she realized that her mother was so upset that she hadn't noticed her. _

_"__Momma" Red eyes immediately looked in her direction, and the angry glimpse that was in the woman's eyes from a second to the other changed into a soft expression. A wide smile crossed the woman's face just before she stepped away from the counter and walked towards the little girl, crouching just in front of Kaede to be at the same eye level- even if her expression was one of deep love, the girl still had in her mind the frown that she had seen in her mother's face just seconds ago, _

_"__Oh, sweetheart, did I wake you up?" A gentle hand caressed her head while the other one rested on Kaede's much smaller shoulder, now a worried expression in the woman's face. It was amazing how easy was for that woman to show her emotions so openly, and how she managed to keep so much things under control- was she going to be like her when she grew older? Would she be able of smiling like her mother most of the time smiled? Was she going to be able of being was wonderful as she was? Kaede had been told millions of times by several different people that being the kid she was it was still too early to understand 'grown up's' things, but Kaede knew better; Kaede knew that her mother was strong, and that was probably the only things that she needed to understand "I'm so sorry Kaede, you must be really tired"_

_Concern. _

_And then upset. _

_Kaede could see it, in her mother's face and in the way she pursued her lips for a second. _

_She could _feel _it as well. _

_The realization and the feelings made painful memories to cross her mind, and the small cuts on her arms started to itch. They were not the first ones that she had gotten in her life, but those had been earned in the most painful way- Kaede could remember rolling in the ground of the park down in the centre of the town with some kid, pulling his hair to try and stop him from leaving bruises in her skin, and she most certainly could remember the taunts and the laughing that had come just before that. It had been embarrassing, but over everything else it had been painful. It was his fault, she knew that much, he was the one that started it, but Kaede couldn't help but feel a huge hole in her belly._

_They were scared of her._

_She had felt it- she had said it aloud as well, just like she had said in the past how easy it was for her to know how people felt most of the time because of how she seemed to be able to feel the same thing and the same time, and that had just earned more yelling. _

_It was not fair. _

_She could feel when people was sad, when they were happy, when they were jealous and hundred things more, so why nobody seemed to notice when she felt hurt every time they bullied her? Why nobody seemed to notice how much it hurt to be called witch?_

_She was not a witch. _

_She was not bad. She tried to be good. _

_So why? _

_"__Momma" Kaede tried really hard to speak at that moment, since the knot in her throat made It kind of difficult- it made difficult to breath, and it was not a comfortable emotion, but it couldn't really be helped; she knew how upset her mother would be with her words, and that was not something she didn't want to see. Or feel. And that was kind of the biggest problem, since her body couldn't see to stop _feeling _others people feelings, but the doubt was big, and what concerned her childish mind was not something so easily answered "Did I… Did I did something wrong?" _

_Maybe it was because something was really wrong with her._

_And it was almost like her mother could read or listen at her thoughts, because she immediately froze in her face, a frown starting to grow in her face. The girl tried really hard not to move a single muscle, nervousness accumulating in her chest when the hands moved from their places to her mother's side. There was nothing in her face that could tell Kaede was she was thinking, and that was kind of preoccupying. _

_Then, after two almost too long minutes, a smile appeared in her face again. _

_"__People will never judge for your intentions, my dear little girl, and that just shows how foolish they are" Maybe it was not a real surprised when the woman smiled at Kaede, because if you think about it that was how she always behaved with her. No matter how much the little girl knew her mother would have yelled at anybody else, she had never ever yelled at Kaede, nor had her father done it- they had always protected her from the rest of the people, the always ignored the stared that they got when walking in the streets hand by hand. The word 'orphan' was something that didn't bother her as much was it used to, mostly because the word had already lost a meaning for her. _

_She was not an orphan anymore- she didn't even remember the time when she was one. She had been a baby, so how could she?_

_They were her parents. They were her family. _

_There was nothing wrong with it. _

_"__See there, Kaede?" Her mother lifted her in her arms, carrying her towards the back window of the kitchen. The salty air immediately hit Kaede's face, tickling her a little in the nose in the process, but the girl paid attention to the image before her anyway. Their house was on top of a small hill at the back of the beach, and it was easy for her to see what her mother meant; endless kilometers of blue and water was everything she could see after the sand "Can you hear the sea?"_

_She nodded. _

_"__It's… its beautiful" She mumbled. _

_"__Exactly" The girl received a wide smile from the older woman "You are just like the sea, Kaede. You see, it's beautiful without any competition, and some people are really scared of it, can you believe it?" She huffed softly "But still there it is, waiting for those braves heart to go and greet it with open arms, it will always be there for those who need it"_

_Her tone changed, and it was the same tone she used when she talked about Kaede's uncle- Kaede didn't have any brothers, but thanks to her abilities she could understand how it was to love a sibling, and it was because of her mother. It was warm, and it was endless even when they hadn't seen him in years; Kaede herself had just seen him once in her life, but somehow the blur picture was still inside her memory. She liked to think that all the presents that came to their door step every month were from him, but the way her mother and father frowned at the boxes made it obvious that they were from someone else. _

_Kaede never bothered to ask. _

_"__Someday Kaede, you will get out of here" Her mother placed the side of her head on top of Kaede's, who couldn't stop looking at the waves. Even from afar she could see the small frames moving on top of the water, high in the sky- they were eagles, or at least she thought so"You will walk away from all these ignorant people, and you will be happy. You will find people that will understand you, friends that will love you, someone that will not fear you. Yes" Her voice was getting lower, like her mind was not there even thought her body was. Kaede didn't try to look at her face "You will be extremely happy"_

_Under the sunlight, Kaede could swear that the eagles had blue feathers. _

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><p>"F-Fire!"<p>

The bullets obviously hit him, right in the middle of his chest and in his arms, but there was no pain nor wounds, his flames instantly healing whatever could have been left behind. He could practically hear how the marines that were aiming at him gulped when he smirked at that, completely pleased by their frighten expressions. The smirk immediately changed into a snarl when he charged at them, letting his anger and frustration out in the only way he knew. His father had said to take it easy, but it was something that Marco couldn't easily let go.

The newspaper of that morning had been a strong blow to them, and while Marco had been contacting via Den Den Mushi all their allies and the other commanders so they could gather in one place, he had been eager to let out steam some way. Since Banaro Island seemed to be filled with marines, he took the opportunity without second thoughts- he didn't know if they were the ones that actually arrested his brother, but it was not like he was anywhere near stopping to ask.

He would make them _pay _anyway, and then he would go an save his brother, even if that meant to sacrifice himself in the process.

And that was exact thing he intended to do when he raised himself in the air, looking down at the marines that were in the ground. He was so disgusted by them that he didn't lose even one second on charging again.

But reddish feathers blocked his attack.

And even if it was for just one second, there was moment when he could actually make eye contact with the person that stopped his flames. Since the beginning there was no doubt in his mind because it was quite possible that he knew those feathers as much as he knew his own power, but to actually see her eyes was something he was not prepared to do. He stood on the ground a couple of meters away from the place where they had impacted with each other, his fist clenched at his sides while his eyes followed the frame of the person that was standing from the ground as well, turning around to be completely in front of the marines as some kind of shield.

He knew those eyes.

He knew that face.

Most importantly, he knew that person.

And deep inside, he had to admit for a second that it was the last person he wanted to see at that moment, maybe for reasons that he would never said aloud. He didn't want her to see him in that state, completely taken by the anger and the desire of revenge, since those were things that he knew she didn't like and tried to avoid. But there was something else that he didn't really wanted to think about, a dark reason that he didn't want to think about, but that nevertheless had come to her mind since the first moment he read the article in the newspaper, something that just made him even more angry when he looked at the blue tattoo around her ankle sideways before looking at her face again.

She was looking at him as well, and that didn't make it any easier.

"Kaede"

If she was there, it meant that maybe and just maybe she was guilty as well.

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><p>If you want me to continue the fic, leave review!<p> 


	16. Alone

Okay, I have to say something or more like I have to ask something from you:

**Please don't kill me**. Whatever you think of these when you read it, keep in mind that I not in pro of sad endings… just… keep it in mind when you finish to read this chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece.

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><p>She tried.<p>

She really tried.

She tried really hard to think about something intelligent to say, she tried to bring into her mind the little voice that was always present when she was in the middle of an argument with Bakainu, the one that helped her with comments for any kind of situation. It usually worked pretty well, and since she seemed to be able of annoying who she wanted to annoy when she wanted to, at moments she considered that little voice pretty helpful.

"It's been quite a lot time"

"Indeed"

Apparently, that was not one of those moments.

It had been a couple of seconds since she ordered to the low ranking marines that she had protected to back to the base and wait for further orders, and since they were scared beyond point of comparison, they had not even said one word to her before running the other way. She would have actually laughed heartily at that since it was always amusing to see that kind of things when Marco had to do with the matter, but she stopped herself even before she turned around again to stare at him. Something really deep inside of her realized the situation even before her brain tried to even think of something to do, and she for the time she managed to look at his face she was already sweating.

What the hell had she gotten herself into?

She was happy.

She had wanted to see him since a really long time ago.

That was what she wanted.

But the other side of her, the logic part that saved her ass more times that she could like to admit since it was the part of her that ruled her actions as a Marine, kicked in and showed her mind every single hard moment for the past years. She suddenly remembered the letter that was unopened and pressed in between a couple of books in her desk, completely untouched since the accident with Big Mom, and the reason behind why she had retreated herself from going out to the sea in so much time.

Or why she had tried to avoid Gran Line for a long time.

She felt _ashamed_.

Kaede considered the truth as the supreme weapon against everything that could come to her, since she was strong enough to deal with it- she had as a personal law to be completely and utterly honest as often as she could be, with the exceptions of those moments where she had to lie to protect somebody. That was why she hated herself to much at that precise moment, standing in front of the person that she loved more than how she hated ignorance, and that was saying _much_. She could not even picture herself saying what had happened to him- but he had the _right _to know about it. Kaede felt guilty keeping that important matter from him, but was she okay? Was she completely healed? She was never going to be completely fine, could she do that to Marco when she knew how it felt? Maybe he was going to be pissed beyond anything she had seen before.

He would be in all his right.

"You still have it" Kaede was kind of surprised at his voice, blinking several times before looking up at his face, finding that he was staring at other thing. Lowering her eyes she found the object the man was referring; she had changed shoes so her ankle was showing, like she actually never let, and that meant that her tattoo was visible as well. The blue feather was as bright as always, and since she had got it fixed a couple of months ago it looked like new. Every time she looked at it she liked to think that the flames actually moved, and if she focused enough she could actually picture it, thing that made her smile in the worst moments.

But there was something wrong.

Maybe it was the heavy air around them.

Maybe it was the monotone voice that Marco had used with her.

Maybe it was the fact that after the first question and that comment he didn't try to make further conversation.

"Of course I do" She tried to laugh at that, but the uncomfortable feeling inside her chest was way too heavy to do so- it was almost like she had some kind of extra weight inside it, and it was something that she didn't like in the slightest. It made it difficult to breath and move, to speak as well, but Kaede tried her best to push it aside and at the end was able to smile a little, breathing deeply as she did it "Is not something you can actually erase, besides, why would I try to take it off?"

He actually _snorted_ at that.

And that was when she knew that something was definitely not okay.

"You would think that the marines had all kind of ways to disappear what they don't like" You would think that with all the experience with Bakainu she would be immune to harsh commentaries, but that was something that she never thought she would ever see, and for reason for a second she felt unable of getting what was the joke in all that matter- because Marco _had _to be joking, even when it was quite a horrible way of doing it. Maybe he was mad at her after all for all those years without contacting, so breathed deeply and opened her mouth once more, getting the feeling that the thing that was inside her chest grew heavier and heavier by the second.

"I like it"

"Funny, you know? I thought the same at the beginning, and for many years, by the way" She smirked like he used to do when he was fighting against someone that was weaker than him, like it was actually funny, like he had said just a second before. Kaede didn't' get it at all, nor did she understood when he glared at her like she had offended Whitebeard himself, thing that she certainly had never done on her life, nor that she wanted to any way "Quite the actress, Danielle"

_This is no joke_.

Somewhere inside her mind, the little voice could be heard, and for a second Kaede had to admit without any kind of comment that it was right.

It definitely was not a joke.

But that realization did nothing to help Kaede inside her mind, leaving her to stare at him with a confused expression, the most elaborate thing she could muster at that moment inside her lost state. Slowly, the heavy feeling inside her chest grew in size, extending to her arms and her legs, her fingers shaking a little and feeling suddenly cold.

Was that how fear felt like?

"What the hell are is going on?"

"You tell me, you are the high ranking Marine"

His expression didn't change when he said that.

She would have like to say that she deserved it, for whatever she had done. Maybe he had found out about the miscarriage, and was mad because of that; if that was the case he had all the right to be mad. Kaede would have loved to open her mouth and say it aloud, to apologize, to do _something, _but right there she realized that she was unable to say anything. Right there it was when she realized her Haki was trying to say to her about Marco- Normally she would automatically feel it, but that was not a normal situation. What he got from him was not something she would have like to discover at all, something that made her enter in some kind of panic.

It was hatred.

The type of hatred that pirates had towards marine, the one that they had avoided together for so many years.

The one that she never wanted to sense from him.

"I don't have time for this" With hands inside his pockets, the commander of the first division first turned to his left, in the direction of the pirate ships that could start to be seen at the corners of the port, and then he turned slightly to his right, looking at Kaede sideways with narrowed eyes, almost like he was expecting her to attack him at any moment. And it truth, it would not be a surprise, since he was being a completely despicable person- he was being an asshole, to put it in simple words.

Good.

He was a pirate after all.

"I would love say that it was a pleasure, but sometimes not even pirates like to lie"

He turned around.

He started to walk.

He started to walk _away. _

And for a fraction of second Kaede did something that she had not done since her father died little before she entered the academy.

"Marco"

She feared to be alone.

Even when she basically ran the distance between them, holding his arm with one hand, the deep hate that she was getting from him was so strong that Kaede didn't even bother to ask why; she didn't need to know why, she didn't need some kind of explanation from him, he just needed everything to go back to normal- to their normal, to their talks, to the little world that they had created in secret, to the smiles and the laugh and the taunts. To everything that would erase that moment.

"Don't touch me!" He snapped at her, taking his arm away in a quick and harsh movement. Kaede was left standing there, her hand half on the air still, an unreadable expression on her face. Marco stopped for a moment, but after shaking his head a second his face transformed again into a frown, an expression that showed off his angry eyes, the ones that showed the deep hatred that you would normally see in a pirate eyes while looking at a Marine. If you think about it, that was the way it was meant to be since the beginning; the harsh tone, expression, the hospital attitude… Kaede had lived it many times in the past, but never ever had Marco showed her that "Oh, come on! Don't act like you don't know" He snorted again, his voice like poison "Ace is going to be executed!"

"…What?" A look of realization crossed her eyes and her face, but that didn't make it any better. Her eyebrows almost touched each other in a somehow confused expression, something that held a little of frustration deep inside "That's why… that's why they asked all the marines to gather at Marineford" But after that what was left on her face was something that the pirate had never seen on her face before- where had all that confidence gone? The one that had been there since they first time they met? Where was the childish spark in her eyes and the carefree smile? "And you… you thought that I…"

For the first time in almost twenty years, he saw it.

A look full of indignation.

An offended look

…A deeply hurt look.

At that moment, when his angry thoughts left a small space in his mind for him to think coherently about her expression and her words, Marco wondered if there was even a tiny possibility of him being wrong. It was like suddenly and out of nowhere, he could finally see Kaede and not the marine that she was supposed to be, the one she never acted like when they were together- suddenly, Marcos saw the pain in her eyes, the one that he had created, and how her lips were tightly pressed together, probably trying to contain a sob, because clearly the tears were already making their way out.

What had he done?

"I..." Her voice was low, something uncommon on her, like she was about to chock in her own words, thing that was most possible at that moment and in that situation, but the way she held the front of her shirt with a hand just on top of where the heart was supposed to be was almost like she was hurt in there. And that was even more possible than the other thing "I think I should go"

"No, Kaede..." She stopped, standing there with her back still turned to him, obviously waiting for Marco to continue, but what was he supposed to say? Sorry? Was that going to fix anything at all, even in the slightest? He from before knew how people used to betray; he had seen it millions of times. He had seen alliances going to hell because of ambition and thirst of power. But the way in which he betrayed her was nothing like those times. It was probably the only way to take her trust and destroy it with just a couple of words- to believe that she had betrayed him first, that she had lied to him, that Kaede, out of all the marines had taken one of his friends so Ace could be executed.

That she had broken their code.

That she had hurt Ace.

That she had changed.

_What the hell had he done?_

"I got promoted to Vice Admiral" She mumbled, but it was enough for him to hear. It wasn't right- her voice was supposed to sound merry, carefree, anything but sad. She was supposed to be smiling like nothing could ever go wrong, not to give her back to someone to hide her face. She was supposed to act like the opposite of what she was, the opposite of a high ranking marine "I just... I just thought you should know it"

"Kaede, I..."

But it was too late.

With the blink of an eye, and the faint sound of the flapping of her wings, she was already gone.

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><p>"Ma'am, do we prepare the cannons?"<p>

That didn't help her headache in the slightest.

"All of Whitebeard's allies are right there, waiting for a signal so they can end us right here, right now" Kaede mumbled, hoping that it was loud enough for Toshiro to hear through the closed door of her office, the one that she was currently leaning her back against. The floor was kind of cold, but it didn't matter, she still sat there, the place she had been sitting on since she first stepped on her ship, shutting herself inside that room- she just couldn't allow herself to do what she was doing in front of her crew "I may risk my life constantly, but I'm only willing to play with mine, there is no way I'm going to risk my crew"

"They have the way cleared, Ma'am, it is big enough for us to pass through it without any kind of contact with even one of their ships" He informed, and that just made Kaede close her eyes tighter "The crew thinks it is too suspicious…"

"They are pirates, Toshiro" It was ironic, if you think about it, to hear those words from her- as ironic as it would be to see Akainu becoming a pirate "There is no way we can understand them" Her voice, changing the words into a mumbled, as almost as lost and far away as her mind felt at that precise moment, probably the two things coming from the same point or feeling "There is no way we can get along with them"

Even if she couldn't see Toshiro's face, she could _feel_ his disappointment because of her words. At times like that, her Haki was one of the things she hated the most, because even if she wanted to be alone, there was no possible way of actually making it happened- she had tried for a couple of minutes to shut it out, but it had already given her a strong headache. Maybe that was what hurt her so much about Marco- even if he hadn't spoken, even if he hadn't said a single word, she still saw the disgust in his soul. He was so angry at her, so but so disappointed that he didn't let himself think about it twice. She tried her best to shut it before she could feel anything else, before she could feel the regret that she thought she had heard in his voice after- it had been… it had been just too much.

"Are we headed to Marineford, ma'am?"

"No" She didn't lift her head, but there was no need of it. Her fist were clenched to the point where her nails dug deep into the skin of her palms, but the woman still didn't look up- some vice admiral she was, acting that way in front of a subordinate. Taking a deep breath Kaede opened her eyes again, trying to think straight "There is something more important I need to take care of first"

There would be time for crying later.


	17. Pandora's box

You know, I would love to know when or how this fic ended up in a Community since I don't remember doing anything to actually put it in there ._. I guess that… screw it, I really don't know how it ended up there XD But I should feel flattered because is a community of best OC's, so I'm just glad that people likes Kaede.

Well, pushing that aside, I just hope you like this. Oh! Before I forget, yesterday I was looking for some old music and I found this version that I have basically fallen in love with, and I think that it describes perfectly Kaede's whole situation and I really think you should look for it, so type this on youtube: **Listen to your Heart – DHT.** And just tell me what you think and if you have some other song that fits even more than these one.

I like to listen to this kind of chapters with really sad music, basically some soundtrack: **which song did you used?**

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece.

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><p>Inside everyone's soul, really deep inside so it would pass as an untouchable object, there is a box.<p>

A box guarded by several locks and really thick chains.

A box that was to not be opened in all its owners' life.

It is supposed to contain everything the owner wants to hide from the world and from himself; every little fear and nightmare, feelings such as jealousy, and those pieces of memory that you just seem to forget- the pieces that you can't remember wishing to destroy, like it had never happened at all. That is the way it worked since millions of years in the past. Maybe if you close your eyes at night, when you are in the point where the reality and the dreams touches each other, you can vaguely picture yours, but not much people know about this.

Because if you knew about it, you would try and open it, and that was not good.

Kaede had seen before what opening the box could do to someone- she had seen people blinded by their own hate, people that ended up being consumed by their own fears and past, hunted until everything that was left of them was someone that walked and lived with eternal horror in their eyes and souls.

That was why she tried to be good.

Why she tried to forget what she knew about it since she was little- Why she tried to forget how _it_ looked like.

That was why she tried to never be tempted to touch hers.

But nobody ever said that touching it was the only way of the chains and locks to fell.

She discovered it when she was young and carefree, probably in the worst way possible.

The chains fell when she first found about her family tree- Kaede could still remember how the sound echoed through her soul and her heart, the temblor that slowly covered her hands and then her arms, how_ scared _she had been at the thought of not being able to put the chains back to their places, at the thought of everything going out of it. At that time, she hoped the locks would be enough to keep the box tightly closed, like it was supposed to be for the rest of the eternity.

But she was wrong.

The locks fell through the years, one by one.

When her adoptive mother left her because of the plague.

When her adoptive father was killed by bandits.

When she first met the Whitebeard's first division commander.

When Sengoku called her to the Headquarters when she was a lieutenant commander.

When she saw Marco again.

When she lost her baby.

When Drake betrayed her.

When Marco accused her.

She knew, just knew, that deep inside her soul, the place she hadn't touched in years in fear of waking something she couldn't take care off after, the last lock hanged from its place with the promise of falling off if she dared to do anything. If it fell, how much time would she be able to keep the box at bay- how much time would she be able of keeping whatever was inside at bay? She didn't have the answer for that. And since a long time ago, it scared her.

Even more than how scared anybody else would be in her position right now, walking through the almost completely dark hallway, following the officer that was guiding her to the place where she wanted to get while hearing to the prisoners around her screamed and laughed at her. Maybe the part she disliked the most about that place was to hear all the criminals that she had defeated yelling at her, because even If that was her job, she just couldn't being to picture how would it feel to be inside a cage where you could barely move- she was pretty sure that there would be no way for her to survive. Even if she could say sorry, she didn't try to stop and do it, because even if it was part of her ethics there was something bigger to worry about.

"Here we are, Ma'am"

The guard's voice took her off guard a little, making the now Vice Admiral lift her eyes, finding that they were standing in front of what looked like the last cell inside the last level of Impel Down. There were no more screaming or taunting, no more prisoners around them, just a heavy silence that enclosed the space like some kind of invisible force, almost like it could slam them to the floor at any second. Even in the small light that created the lamp the officer was now placing in the ground, she could almost perfectly see the person at the other side of the cells, fixed to the wall. She tried to breathe as deeply as possible, trying to convince herself that there was no way someone else could hear her loud heartbeat even if it seemed to be the only thing she could actually hear. Anxiety was something unfamiliar to her, something that she didn't particularly liked, but now it was a good reminder of how important was what she was doing.

Not just for whatever the future would bring, but for her sanity as well.

Even if it was probable that there was nothing left of that inside of her, not anymore.

"Thanks" Kaede fought with herself for her voice to keep her natural tone, grabbing tighter one of her hands with the other in front of her "Would please you leave us alone?"

"Ma'am, I don't think that's-"

"Please" Even if she didn't look at him she could see his expression through her Haki- it was a wonder how he hadn't yelped yet, if he was kind of afraid of her. Maybe it was because the last time she got near Impel Down it had been years ago and at that time she kind of started a fight with Bakainu that almost touched the first level of the prison. If that was the case then she couldn't really blame him, she would flinch at everything as well "Leave us alone" She smiled a little at him, hands still pressed together.

"V-Very well" The man saluted "Please take your time"

And with that he was gone.

And you could very well think that she was left alone, because there was nothing that would say that someone else was there as well. But still Kaede kept her eyes on the person at the other side of the bars. When she couldn't hear the steps of the man anymore one of her hands went inside her coat, bringing out a set of pretty heavy keys, the ones that she had took from the office where she had been waiting just minutes before when nobody was watching; after all, she didn't like conversation at distance. The head of the person at the other side of the cell raised a little by the sound when she opened the door, but it was not enough to see his eyes or for Kaede to get his attention- it was kind of interesting since she expected kind of a big reaction, maybe some yelling and a little bit of cursing (Lots, actually), but there was none of that; he even lowered his head again over his legs, which were in what looked a really uncomfortable position because of the chains that held his body up. She frowned, looking over his wounds, concluding that he had received quite a rough time.

He still didn't look up.

Not even when she walked near him, standing at short distance.

Not even when she stared openly at him.

There was no really need for him to look at her for Kaede to see his face since she knew it perfectly, almost like the back of her hand. How many times had she stared for endless hours at his wanted poster, locked inside her office? How many times had she refused to how after that very person? How many times had she imaged how life would have been if things just had turned to be differently? There were lots of things that she could say at that moment; she could apologize for not being strong enough to protect him, maybe for not being there with _her _when she needed someone to stay by her side, and she could just stay there as well, without saying a single word. Maybe she could actually start introducing herself, since it was most probably that he didn't have a clue of who she was- of who she truly was.

Not even one of those options were good enough, especially the last one. She just tried to picture his reaction from what Garp had told her about the boy's personality, and the woman had the feeling that it will not be pretty at all.

So she just opened her mouth and hoped for the best.

Not one of her best plans ever.

"Freckles" Was the first thing that she said, breaking the silence with in a rather unusual way "Just like her" She added when he looked up, staring at her face. She chuckled a little, apparently amused by something, and Ace had the feeling that it was not his condition what was entertaining her like it had happened before with all the marines, with the exception of Garp "Actually, you look _exactly _like her, but I don't want you to think that I'm calling you effeminate"

It took a minute for him to understand to what she was referring.

Not that it made sense after that, though.

"What..." His voice sounded strange even to him, probably because of how tired he was, and because of all the time he had expended in silence. He had even lost count of the hours there had been nothing but darkness around him, leaving him alone with his own thoughts and memories; that was what actually kept him from going crazy. His eyes, so disused to light, hurt a little when they caught the light of the lamp outside the cell, but kept his head high nevertheless. His brain was working at amazing speed, repeating over and over again that woman's words inside his mind, just to be sure that he got them right "What did… what did you say?"

"I said" Kaede sat in front of him, not really paying attention at how her clothes started to get dirty, looking at him right in the eye "You look exactly like your mother" She chuckled again while closing her eyes for a second, tilting her face to one side, maybe because he didn't want him to see the anxiety growing inside her "Portgas D. Rouge" And even thought her words were not more than a whisper, Ace could hear her perfectly. He felt as his throat dried almost instantly, but even thought he wanted to scream at her right there, when the woman opened her eyes again he was unable to do it for even a second. The small smile on her lips was something that a marine was not supposed to have while looking at a pirate in his state and circumstances, but it was still there; almost like she already knew him even thought he had never seen her in the past.

He repeated that in his head, just to be sure that it was true.

Even when something in her seemed awfully familiar, and that he tried to push that aside because there was no way for that to be true.

For some reason he recalled Marco talking about a marine he had meet years ago, when he was feeling nostalgic and just needed to talk to somebody. That marine he described sounded strangely similar to the woman he learned that Marco loved, the one he talked about when he was absolutely and completely drunk, almost like the two of them were the same woman- And for a _second, _just because there was no other thing in his mind at the moment, Ace tried to recall the details of the marine, trying to put the pieces together.

A person that the crew had apparently met long ago, even before Marco was a commander, but that he had not seen in the last years because of an unknown reason- someone stupid enough to smile at a pirate like it was possible for them to be friends, someone that was willing to listen to you for hours and hours, ignoring her duty.

Someone that was absolutely messed up in the head.

So much, that it was someone you could trust.

_ "__You should have seen her Ace. You think your brother's smile is bright? Hers was even brighter than the sun"_

The face that he got after putting all his memories together, not matter how much he tried to say to himself that it didn't make sense at all, was the face of the woman sitting right in front of him.

"I'm… pretty sure that you don't know how nice is to me to finally meet you" She smiled at him, almost too brightly "Ace"

Deep inside, while grabbing the fabric of her pants in her hands in a deplorable try of stopping the shaking and the nerves, to push down with all her will-strength so it would not make a difference, Kaede could hear it - an awfully familiar sound.

The last lock falling from its place.


	18. Expected to be

The truth to be told, is not that I hate this chapter, but is not one of my favorites. I really though that there was something left, you know? But then I thought "Andrea, are you really going to write so many things in just one chapter?" No, I am not going to, sooo I guess you'll have to wait until I get even a single idea of what the hell to do from here XD

PS: I think I kind of screw it by putting that name up there, but I'm too lazy to actually moving my finger up to erase it, so I'll just leave it there. Don't call me that, don't like it.

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece.

_"__You and I… we… we have a couple of things in common" The young pirate stared at her like Kaede had just said the most stupid thing he had ever heard, but she smiled anyway. It really wouldn't seem so since he was inside a cell waiting for his execution while she was a really important someone inside the organization that was ironically trying to kill him; nevertheless, and even if he didn't know it yet and maybe would never knew, she meant every word "One of them is that we both grew without meeting our parents, for example"_

_That seemed to take him with the guard down, or at least, it seemed to touch a soft spot. His face immediately changed into one of something between uncertainty and curiosity, and maybe, just maybe, what she could feel deep inside his heart was a little of comprehension, the same feeling that you get when you suddenly hear an impressive reason for something that you thought unforgivable. Maybe that was something similar to that case. _

_"…__And one other thing?"_

_It was small and surprisingly familiar, almost like the sound that made her wings every time she changed to her other form and could fly- something quick that you couldn't quite place at the first try. Maybe if the silence inside the cell hadn't been as absolute as it had been after his question, Kaede wouldn't have heard it at all, maybe she would have ignored it and not tried to look for it, but the fact was that she did notice it. When she realized that the sound was of something getting out of the box, it was way too late. The words were already out of her mouth. _

_It was dark._

_It was deep._

_It was a damn forgotten thought. _

_But it was, anyway, what made Ace look at her like she had just told him her biggest secret, and if it really wasn't then it was stupidly near to it. More than she would have liked to admit. _

_ "__Deep inside, we both think we shouldn't have been born at all"_

"You told him?"

It was not a surprised for Kaede to hear him ask her that particular question.

Not at all.

She had actually been waiting for it since she had gotten back from Impel Down a couple of hours ago, just in time to see how nervous and scared most of the marines that the headquarters had called were. She had seen Hina just a couple of minutes before, already arguing with Smoker about something- it was amazing how he managed to keep the same frown in his face for so many years, but it was kind of nice to see something like that. Brought good memories. The thing she needed the most when she passes in front of an office and saw Ahokiji sleeping on the floor; she would have been more than happy to step in his head until he woke up, but there was a position to maintain in front of so many officers, even if she didn't like it at all.

And in front of the Shichibukai, because really, how can she possibly forget about that lovely group? Specially Hancock, since she was the sweetest person _ever. _

_Yeah, right. _

After years Kaede still tried to figure out what the hell had she done for the Pirate Empress to hate her so much- the woman literally tried to turn her to stone once just because one of the woman marines that had been nearby when the woman passed had said that she preferred Kaede's _personality _better. For the love of god, she meant the _personality, _how the hell could _that _be some kind of _insult_ was something out of Kaede's understanding.

Now that she was standing quietly besides the main door, trying not to roll her eyes at how the rest of the marines screamed in what she categorized as desperate happiness when the three admirals sat on her chairs, it was basically the first time she had seen Garp in what seemed an eternity. Maybe it was because lots of things had happened since the last time they saw each other, when Sengoku assigned her the mission she was not going to talk about, that it seemed like so long. When she noticed he had already gotten out with Tsuru by his side, and was now staring at her while the woman stood a couple of feet in front of them, probably wanting to give them some kind of privacy.

"You think I should have?" She grimaced, her hands together in front of her while she leaned on the wall. It was not the best position or the most comfortable one, but it was the only way to actually take some rest the minutes that were left of peace and apparent control. She was pretty sure that they were about to see hell, so there was absolutely nothing wrong in wanting to enjoy it- actually, she had thought about the possibility of going to the tactic room to help on something that didn't concern directly fighting for something that was more of a personal thing that anything else, but Sengoku's orders were final the last time she had seen him: she was to stay there, with the others Vice Admirals, and she would fight like the marine that she was.

And just to be clear, those were his exact words.

"In consideration of my ethics, I have to say in my defense that everything I told him was the absolute truth: I met his mother a little bit more than twenty years ago when I was in a vacation with my father" Kaede smirked a little, tilting her face slightly "To tell him the rest of the story didn't seem like the best option at the moment" She added after a moment in a mumbled, thinking that it definitely sounded even more pathetic out of her mind.

"In fact, I think he would have been rather happy"

And that didn't make her feel any better.

It actually made her feel like crap, but there was nothing she could actually do at that moment, standing there. In her opinion at that exact moment you could call her stupid and you would be completely right- You could call her masochist, which was pretty appropriate was well; Kaede knew he didn't mean anything bad by his words, but she could see and feel as well the pain in his heart- was he really thinking that he was fooling anybody with that expression on his face? Like he didn't care at all? She didn't need Haki to know it; she had known that man for way too long. Besides, they were kind of similar.

Maybe that was the reason why she could actually live under his orders for so long, why they strangely seemed to understand each other- She had been the one finding the files of the revolutionary Dragon, she already knew his full name, and obviously she already knew about his family. She could remember how Garp's expression had been the first time his grandson's poster came out. To live between the personal feelings and connections, and the obligations that your job imposed in your life was not easy, he probably knew it better than anyone else.

That was why since the beginning he was one of the only ones that thought that she was going to be a great marine some day, because he didn't see her way of being as a fail; because he _understood _her.

That was why he knew that she had gone to see Ace.

That was why she knew that he had gone to see Ace.

If she had to choose, and she was not thinking that to insult her ancestors or something like that, she would have him as a grandfather.

"He thinks he shouldn't have been born, you know it too. He hates himself" It sounded even more awful than how it had sounded outside her mind, but even if she tried to actually look for another way of saying it, she couldn't found a single thing. Kaede really tried to smile a little, but had the feeling that it had turned out more like a twisted gesture more than anything else "Maybe he would have hated me as well" Even if it was a mumble she knew that the older man could hear her perfectly. His expression didn't change, but that was a signal that he was listening to hear so she continued, taking a deep breath and making sure that whatever had been on her face transformed into a smile "And I can't stand the idea of him hating me- it would be like having Rouge-san hating me, and that's just plain sad"

"You really think he would have hated you?"

"That's kind of how things work, isn't it? We humans have the capacity of thinking about the same thing at some moment of our lives if necessary- you can take it as a defensive measure" The woman tilted her face to one side slightly, staring at Sengoku went up the stairs with a surprisingly slow pace. Maybe even him could feel how that was a ridiculous and stupid was his plan, because if you think about it, it was really stupid to do something like that, but it was not like he was anywhere near changing his mind "If you can hate yourself, then other people can easily hate you as well" After a second of silence she actually laughed, pressing a hand to her forehead, shaking her head slightly "Now that sounded pathetic" She chuckled "Sorry, I'm kind of… of something at these moment"

"Pissed?"

Just to make it clear, she was not the perfect woman.

At all.

She felt anger like the rest of the living human beings, and her relation with Bakainu was a perfect prove of that- all the things that they had destroyed in the process of one of their discussions were prove of that. She had a really bad character when she was mad at something or at someone, feeling that she usually controlled by punching something sin, and even when she smiled most of the times, she had mentally killed people more times that she could actually remember. She was not a saint, not even close to an innocent person, but she knew how to control her feelings.

Hell, that was why the box was for.

Now that it was open it was a little bit hard for her to keep everything at bay, but she had never truly admitted something like that to someone- The last person that had seen her crying, not including Marco because the relation she supposed she _had _with him was not something she could use for that kind of things, had been her mother, a really long time ago. But more than anything to not let those kind of things go out in front of Garp was something like a rule to her, something that she had vowed to never do when she first entered his crew.

She was good at it.

But that time, it was different.

It was almost like he was offering the word like a parent teaches a child something new, something that they would have to live with the rest of their lives.

Maybe it was just that.

"Yes" It was easier to mumbled it, even more when he could actually hear her anyway "Maybe that's exactly what it is"

And it was kind of nice to actually say it, at least once.

She was probably not going to have another opportunity.

"You know what he told when I asked if he wanted me to get him out? Because, you know, I was actually anxious enough to think for a second that I was able of getting my ass out of there in one piece if I happened to do something out of order, like, I don't know, release a high class prisoner locked in the last level" Kaede laughed, and she could see a smirk forming in the corner of his mouth, meaning that he was probably picturing the scene- You have to admit it, it would be kind of fun "'Get the hell out of her before you get yourself killed, woman'"

"Sounds like him"

"Sounds like you, you mean"

He could chuckle at that.

But it was not enough for them to forget where they were, or what they were going to do in a few moments. She had to admit that it was a stupid idea to try and forget a little about the situation, when it was clear that she was nowhere near getting away from it. This time, it was not something she could run away from, nor something she could refuse. Even if she didn't want to admit it at the moment, and even when it sounded like something a narcissist and egocentric person would say, she was part of the elite of the elite, the best of the best.

And she was expected to act like one.

She was expected to go with the other Vice Admirals and wait. She was expected to fight and live for her reputation of one of the youngest Vice Admirals in the last years- she was supposed to kill people that she had known for years, people that had been her friends even when it wasn't meant to be like that. What about them? Would they think the same? Would they hate her? Would they understand? Would they forget about all the times she had drank with them in their own ship, the times when she had actually had a conversation with their captain?

Maybe their denial was something she hated the most, and if she thought about it, it had been like that since the very start.

"Garp-san" She pressed her lips tightly, just when Sengoku started to speak through the Den Den Mushi. It would be funny if he happened to say something about her as well inside his little speech, but he surely knew that it was not a good idea since that would cause a little bit of a reaction with his words- besides, the imagine that she supposedly had to protect was actually something like his baby, since he created it and threaten her in order to protect "The first time we met, when you asked me why I wanted to be a marine, you remember what I said?"

"I don't"

She smiled, and then, she looked at Ace.

He was close. If she transformed she could reach him before anybody could react, but pushing aside the fact that Bakainu would carbonize her on the spot, she tried to picture the same expression that he had on his face after she asked if he wanted her to take him out of Impel Down; he had been smiling. It had looked to damn familiar that it was glued to her mind- he would really hate her if she tried to do it, right? If she put his life before hers, virtually risking everything.

She bet he did the same thing with his friends.

And that actually made her laugh.

"Me neither"

Maybe it came with the blood.

* * *

><p>So, what do you want to see from here? Im open to suggestions<p> 


	19. Giving up

So I stayed up until late writing this, so I hope is readable enough for you to not dislike the chapter because of my composition. At this time of the day is kind of hard to translate things from a language to other, but I guess I'll have to get used to it XD I… just hope you like this chapter, because it really means a lot to me. Like, even if things happen fast this is not something that just concerns this chapter, you know? Is a whole life- Kaede's whole life, and I just wanted to do something worth of her because now I don't feel like she's just a character anymore, you know? So please tell me what you think.

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece.

* * *

><p>Whatever happened there would pass to the history as the biggest battle ever between pirates and the marine, one were the highest ranks of each side would play an important role, including the Shichibukai and Shirohige's allies. Someday, that battle and the meaning behind it were going to be taken as an example for the future generations- The Pirate didn't care about what it was going to be said about them after that, being the battle, for them, a way to recover a member of their family. For the navy, it was the opportunity to bring down the strongest pirate of the era, an opportunity to leave their power as a statement in the world.<p>

To Kaede, the right here and right now meant something a little bit different.

It was not history being made what she saw.

It was not justice.

It was not revenge.

It was not a statement.

To Kaede, what at that moment was surrounding her, was what hell most probably looked like.

The worst part? It would have been easy- It would have been _too _easy for her.

Is she really had been willing to kill somebody that day, she had had many opportunities the last hour, even after little Oz Jr. appeared. Kaede lost count of how many times she had seen people she already knew, how many times she had basically and almost literally froze on the spot, probably looking like some kind of confused kid- It hadn't been enough for her to not notice how similar each and every of those persons reactions had been. But before she could actually think of moving, when she finally saw how they tried to move their weapons to attack her, someone else had already taken them down. It was not a good sight, nor something that would leave her mind for a really long time.

She didn't even flinch anymore when the cannons shoot somewhere near her; she didn't look at her sides when she instinctively used her wings to get to the flying threats and destroyed it before it could touch something or someone. She didn't turn around when someone called her name, not that she could distinguish anymore- everything that was left on her ears was the constant buzzing of all the noise around her, something that made her head bump painfully. It was probably good, since that way there was absolutely no chance of knowing If Sengoku was screaming at her- because, Kaede had to be realistic, what the _hell _was she really doing at that moment?

She had no idea.

_Who was she truly protecting?_

She still didn't have an idea.

It was not a moment to feel guilty, nor it was a moment to show some kind of sentimentality towards anyone, but how did you get rid of something that had been your major flaw most part of your life- something that, by the way, she had tried to do for the last sixteen years? How could you, for at least a minute, find the strength to follow an order that you hated from the depths of your heart? At that moment she couldn't even remember how she managed to get promoted to _ensign_ in the first place; hadn't most part of her life being fighting against those same pirates? Weren't they the same pirates that Garp constantly went looking for when she was still in his crew? Weren't those commanders the ones that she knew how to deal with? She _knew _how to do it.

Now, it was easier for her to actually feel regret, to understand how right all her mentors had been when they said that she would get herself kill if she didn't get it together- even better yet, that she shouldn't have thought of becoming a marine from the beginning; now, it was easy to remember all the hundreds of marines that had been injured in a fight with Shirohige in front of her eyes, all the families that had been destroyed because of that, and all the blood and pain that she had seen through the years- it was easy to _remember _the hate she had seen.

Yes, it was easier now.

It was easy to bring to her mind all the reasons why she should fight them. It was easy to get the picture that could finally make her act like the marine she was expected and supposed to be- no, the marine that she in fact was. It was easy to _taste _the hate that she was supposed to feel at that moment, the one that apparently moved everyone around her; she could see it through her Haki and feel it with her senses. It would have been so _easy_ for her, almost _too _much.

But she couldn't bring herself to kill even one of them.

Even if it was easier to remember the bad, Kaede couldn't find in her memory the thoughts from when she was younger, when she first joined the academy. What had been her real reason to do it in the first place? What had she been _thinking_? There was not even a single clue inside the memory, nor inside her box, like it had truly never existed. It was an impulse that showed how desperate she was at that moment, but she didn't care, Kaede couldn't pretend to survive that war by just keep doing whatever she was trying to do at that moment; she _needed _to remember.

But she couldn't find a reason, not even an _excuse_.

How many times had she thought that Akainu's actions were misdirected? How many times had she noticed how different things were on her mind? How many times had she disputed the whole world government ideal? Wasn't it once her dream to go out to the sea, and just travel the world like her mother had wanted to do in her last moments?

... How many times had she thought about quitting? About going away?

Now she wasn't sure what was worst: The battlefield, or her mind.

"ACE!"

Kaede almost sighed relived when the pressure on her head seemed to go away for a second, the buzzing in her ears disappear by what she liked to see as a miracle. With a hand on her head she tried her best to look around her, finding that for a second every fight had come to a stop and that everyone was looking up at the sky. Slowly, mostly because of the small headache that had been left inside her head, Kaede looked up.

The woman blinked again. Well, actually, several times, just to make sure that she was not going crazy, even when it wouldn't really and truly be a surprise for her or for everyone that knew her. Her mouth opened slightly, trying to process what she was seeing, and she unconsciously tilted her face to one side, as if you try and have a better view- didn't matter from where she tried to see it, it still was a really…peculiar thing to see.

And when she did process it, the picture even brought an amused smile to her lips.

"Well, now _that's _interesting"

Kaede was pretty sure that she was not the only one thinking that at that precise moment.

Because you didn't always get to see a ship falling from the sky like it had appeared out nowhere. Even if you can't really believe it the thing that caught Kaede's attention the most was not the giant object, but the persons that were falling with him- Was that… an Okama what she saw there? Definitely not something you got to see every day.

Monkey D Luffy was, just to say the least of all the things that were on her mind as a description of the young boy, one of the most interesting persons that she had ever had the privilege to see. And she had seen much in all her life.

Not just for the fact that he apparently escaped the Impel Down in one piece, and bringing more than half of a level with him in the process besides the ex Shichibukai Jinbe, but because how he seemed to be able to just ignore everything that was said around him in order to save his big brother, as he had said before- Kaede still couldn't completely believe how he hadn't reacted when Sengoku publicly announced his heritage, how he seemed to just _ignore _it even when most people in that battlefield apparently couldn't get over it. He just kept going forward, and probably in his mind looking back was not even an option. She didn't know what, but there was something that kind of… _emanated _from him that made her Kaede gasp for breath.

When was the last time she saw someone with so much will power?

For when she realized that she was now almost literally following him, Kaede found herself actually jumping over some people to get where she wanted- now that there was no buzzing she could actually hear as Sengoku screamed at her, and by the looks of it he was pretty mad at her. In any other situation she would laugh at it but there was no time for that at that moment. To not know what the hell she was doing didn't bother her as much now, and maybe, just maybe, it was because of the boy.

It had been long since she last had seen a smile like that one.

A really long time.

That was when it hit her.

Quite literally, I might add.

Kaede fell to the floor with a pained whimper, holding her side with one hand as she tried not to look as pathetic as she felt. By the corner of her eye she got to see the body of one of the giants unit and that made her feel a little bit better, in a figurative way, because she was hurt like hell- if she had to guess maybe to say that she had at least two broken ribs was pretty accurate. Since it had been a really long time since she actually felt something like that, maybe the last time being the years when Marco and her still fought each other, it was kind of hard for the woman to raise to her foot once more.

She didn't think about wondering what could have pushed something was big as a giant's body until it was too late. The sky turning red was her cue to look up, finding to her horror the magma falling from the sky- after a second she used every curse she knew to wish Bakainu a slow and painful death, preferably by her hand. Even if she had tried to turn so she could fly away from the danger the ribs made it difficult to even move, and that was kind of the thing that told Kaede that she was going to be pretty much screwed if she didn't do anything. And quick.

But at the end, when she started to move to one side and felt something pulling her by the arm, she ended up being protected by something else.

The bright blue flames made her close her eyes for a second.

By the corner of her eye Kaede could see the blue fired wing protecting the two of them from the magma that was falling from the sky. She felt kind of stupid at that moment, since even though she knew by heart the owner of those flames she still looked up, realizing that Marco was pressing her to his chest with the arm that was around her waist. His expression was terrifying to say the least; he looked absolutely angry at something, so much that he didn't notice her looking at him at all. And when he had gotten there in the first place was completely out of her knowledge.

"I swear, I'm going after that bastard's head right after we set Ace free" His arm came down with his mumble, somehow ending up at Kaede's back, pressing some points that maybe at that moment were way too sensible. The pain at her side made the woman groan for breath while her legs seemed to decide to stop working and send her to the floor. Luckily for Kaede, or maybe not so much considering the actually situation between the two of them, Marco was there to catch her before she hit the cold ice "Hey! Are you okay? I got you"

Thanks to him she ended up sitting on top of it anyway, but her mind was way too busy dealing with the pain to actually pay attention to how cold it was. When she realized that taking deep breaths was only going to make it worse Kaede started to get small, controlled ones. It was after a second that she could actually feel a hand at her back, gently comforting her- she didn't need to look up to know that he was looking at her, and that thought made the woman bit her lip in frustration. She had done a pretty good job keeping her almost non existing pride from getting smashed by him, and now her he was, holding her like she was made of glass.

Oh how life liked to be cruel to her.

She was actually pretty much convinced that there was someone up there with something against her- It probably was her mother for letting herself get in that situation. Kaede couldn't say that she didn't deserve it, but at least the woman could have look for a slightly less painful way of punishing her daughter.

"Don't move" The whisper startled her a little and with the slight movement of her arms she hissed in pain again. Kaede could hear the man sighing deeply, but she still didn't turn to face him- She couldn't allow herself to do it "Why do you like so much to worry me like that?" She actually opened her mouth at that, ready to snap at him, but the Vice Admiral somehow managed to close it before she could regret it. Patience had been one of her virtues in the past, now there was no way that was going to be the exception.

Marco sighed again.

But he didn't let go.

Not even when she tried to move; his hands never left her shoulders.

"Please let me go" Kaede allowed herself a mumble, something small to start with.

"No" But of course and as most of the time, he didn't pay any attention to her words. She huffed, but even thought it was meant to sound angry, it was not even near it. Kaede breathed deeply just to feel the pain so she could get herself together, but even like that, her voice was nothing more than another mumble.

"…You… are an idiot"

"Yes, I'm an idiot" And when he hissed, Kaede blinked several times on a row, trying to process the expression of frustration that went through his face for a second. The hands on her shoulders gripped tighter but didn't made her flinch or anything, and that only gesture was a sign that Marco was trying his hardest not to explode at that moment "An an asshole, and a jerk, and everything you want to call me right now! And I know that you are mad and that you have the right to be, and that you probably hate me, and that this is how things should have been since the beginning, but that's just not right!" Her mouth opened a little, like she was about to say something, but he didn't give her the chance "And I just need you to know how _sorry _I am!"

It was unfair.

Inside her mind she could spend hours thinking about the proper order of the things, and she could struggle for even more trying to even starting to think what she wanted to say. But now there he was, giving what Kaede categorized as probably the cheesiest things he had ever said but at the same time probably the most honest thing she had ever heard from him in just one breath, with a complete serious expression. Given, he looked angry for moments, but it didn't take away that what he just said was basically spotless.

It was totally unfair.

You know what else was unfair? That she was actually trying not to cry at that moment.

Was it because she was happy? Because if it was like that, it was a freaking bad moment for that. In the middle of a battlefield when they were, by the way, enemies and where just by being seeing together by the whole navy's forces they could get killed, it was definitely not the best place for that. Not at least for the tears. Deep inside Kaede really thought about kicking him right in the face not just because of the mere fact that he had broken her heart and just like that put together the pieces again with an amazing speed, but because she was pretty sure that it was what she was meant to do at that moment.

But then, she stopped.

Like, really stopped.

Her mind and her body, probably even her breathing and her heart beat. It was a minute where she was allowed to actually see around her without having to worry about her mental ethics or the coat that was placed on her shoulders- A minute when she could actually ignore Sengoku's expression and Bakainu's stare. It was actually the first time she could do it, and it was probably the best minute of her life. After the minute passed the first thing she could see was Marco's worried face, and that was when she realized what she had just done and thought.

And then, she laughed.

"Okay, okay, I give up" She pressed her hand to her side softly, placing the other on top of Marco's chest so she could stand up straight. He made a gesture of not letting her, but when he realized that she was going to do it anyway there was nothing left but to help her. When she was up there was a small smile on her lips, like a sideway smile but different, and when she tilted her face to one side the commander had the impression that it was not him she was talking to "I give up"

Marco could hardly hear her.

He didn't ask thought, and waited for a few seconds until she looked at him. Marco knew that there was no time for whatever they were doing, but it was not like he could actually say or do something like that; the look of confidence that Kaede held on her face was something that he had not seen in a really long time, and he couldn't help but smirk at that, even when they were now standing in the middle of a battlefield. For a second, just for a single second, it didn't matter as much.

"I guess they were right since the beginning, Marco" She smiled widely, laughing a little for herself "I… I have never been a good marine, have I?"


	20. Immortality

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece.

* * *

><p><em>"<em>_Don't you dare die on me, Kaede!"_

Strangely, she could remember thinking how scared Marco had sounded at that moment.

And that was not a good thing to realize since in all the years they had known each other, Marco had _never _been scared before, or at least not in front of her. Nor it was the best thing to remember when she first opened her eyes again, finding, after many tries because of how blurred her vision had been at first, a wooden ceiling over her head- It had been so dark that Kaede really thought that she was, in fact, in hell. And if it was like that then she was very disappointed to find that it was quieter than she thought it was going to be since she never really expected to end up in heaven. It took her a little bit of time to pull herself together and hear the small sound of the waves outside the window that was at her right, curtains heavily covering it.

She was in a ship.

It was not her ship.

It certainly was not a navy's hip.

But she was alive, and that was kind of a surprise for herself. The pain that caused to just move her arm over the covers, making her hiss in the process, was the thing that told her that she really was alive, and that still was a surprise- Granted, she could not remember a single important thing at that moment, but she certainly could remember all the pain and the screams around her before everything turned dark, and that was enough to put anybody to think twice about the state of her body. She could raise her head just alright, maybe a little bit dizzy, and then she tried to move her upper body.

"_Right_" Kaede tried her best to take deep breaths to distract the pain to somewhere else, pressing the back of her head hard into the pillow while hissing once more "_Broken ribs_" Now _that _was something that you couldn't forget easily. But that still didn't tell her what had happened to her, or at least to her body. The woman tried her best to look around, but thanks to the little light inside the room she couldn't actually make a clear image in her mind. She could tell that it was a medium room so far, but that was not an extremely important fact, so instead she tried to close her eyes and bring to her mind the last thing she could remember besides the pain and the darkness, even if it was not much.

_"__Open your eyes!"_

Marco.

Just what the hell had happened?

She tried to push herself up with one hand, closing her eyes tightly at the feeling.

"You don't want to move from that bed, believe me"

Surprised, Kaede looked at her left, lying in the bed once more. The door was open, letting some sunlight inside the room, and the person standing by the frame had a hand in his hip, staring at her with a raised eyebrow. It took Kaede a couple of seconds to distinguish his face from the shadows, a incredulous smile forming in her lips.

"…Izou?" He closed the door behind him when he entered the room, his kimono moving with every step he took. The man smiled down at her once he pulled the curtains with one hand, letting the sunlight completely enter the room; Kaede closed her eyes for a moment, but after a couple of seconds she opened them again to find Izou by her side. She smiled at him when he stretched his arms help her get into a sitting position- it was painful as hell, but after a second she could actually breathe again, her back against the wall and the pillow; opening an eye, she looked up at him with a grin "It has been a while"

"A couple of years, yeah" He chuckled "I have to say that you certainly took your time Kaede, never thought it was going to be so long until you ended up here for good"

She had to think about it twice before she got what he was talking about.

"….Oh" Blinking a few times in a row Kaede, for a second, tried not to feel as stupid as she probably looked right at that moment. Just in case she tried really hard to find some kind of regret inside of herself, since she didn't want to have a nervous breakdown like she had almost had in the middle of that battlefield- She reached a point where she actually tried and mentally touch the box, but when literally nothing happened, a somehow heavy sigh escaped her lips at the same time she realized a really interesting fact "Right, at that time I…"

Everything had already gotten out.

And she had absolutely no idea where all of that went. Not that she wanted to know at all.

Izou patently waited for other reaction from her part, staring from his spot besides the bed, arms crossed over his chest- It was amazing how almost none of them had changed in those past years; how many times had she talked with that man? With the rest of the commanders? It was funny how right Izou was: She had taken a lot of time for her to end up there, since everyone seemed to be waiting for it. Maybe since the beginning they were sensing what was going to happen at the end.

It almost made her laugh.

But then she remembered that It would hurt, so she just didn't.

"Do you regret it?" And when the man asked the question, Kaede was pretty sure that her situation was probably the weirdest one of all. Garp had a 'healthy' relation with pirates just alright, and you didn't see him basically quitting the marines in front of every officer of the organization- In fact you would first see him first dressing like a woman than becoming a pirate, so what was different with her? Maybe all her flaws and inside monologues actually came with the blood; that or she really was messed up in the head. Both of them were extremely possible options, so much that it actually scared her. It almost made her feel guilty.

_Almost. _

"Do I look like the kind of person that regrets her own decisions?" For the benefit of the moment Kaede allowed herself to laugh a little, even when it was kind of the worst decision she could make with three broken ribs, but it was worth it anyway. She then shook her head slightly, a smile on her face when she pressed a hand to her forehead "Just don't answer that" And even with her eyes closed, she just knew that he was chuckling.

"I'm glad you are just the same as before"

"Not much people would share that opinion" The woman smirked, tilting her face so she could see through the window. The sky was blue and even though she couldn't quite see it, she was pretty sure that almost hundreds of ships were surrounding the one they were in, but he couldn't regnoize anything; For some reason the emptiness inside her stomach grew a few inches when she tried to guess where were they, or more like why they were here. Why, from all things, she had to forget the most important parts? That was only a prove that the answers to her questions were not going to be pretty at all, and because she just knew that, because Karma is bitch and works and worked in a way that she found certainly disgusting, she took a really deep breath before turning at him again "Izou, what happened?"

"You don't remember?" He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Until a certain point" She nodded quietly, having the feeling that the dizziness was going to come back if she did any drastic move "I remember the giant hitting me, and then Marco by my side because of Bakainu's stupid magma attack, but everything after that? Is just a big blurry" Her hand went almost directly to her head again. She had a really bad feeling, like she was forgetting something that she was better off without knowing- Kaede was almost completely sure that she had seen something bad, even if she couldn't actually remember. A part of her, somewhere not as deep as you would think, didn't want to know at all; somewhere deep inside, she was certainly scared of remembering.

But that just told her how important it was.

"First of all I guess you want to know why you were unconscious" He crossed his arms over his chest when she nodded "One of those broken ribs of yours pierced your left lung, the doctor went through hell to bring you back to us- can't blame him though, working with Marco pressed to your back is not an easy thing to do" Kaede snickered a little, unconsciously putting a hand over her side- it was the first time she realized there were bandages under her clothes. Well now that explained lots of things… and left her with a really big hole inside her stomach. Now she thanked god for having being unconscious "I really thought you were not going to make it, but then I remembered: You are Danielle D Kaede, what can actually bring you down for good?"

"I'm not as tough as I used to be, Izou" She shook her head, pressing her hands together on top of her lap. A small smile appeared in her lips when she looked up again, tilting her head slightly to the right "And I'm certainly not as young as I used to be, either"

"I'd said that hardly seems like a problem to you" He pointed to something over his shoulder, and when Kaede followed it she ended up finding her coat on top of a chair in the other side of the room. She could see that there were a couple of burnt marks, but aside of that it seemed to be just fine- she could remember being promoted to Vice Admiral half a year in the past, but now that she looked at it, it just felt... Wrong "You were promoted to Vice Admiral, I say that you need to be pretty tough for that" She chuckled "And about your age, well, what about we call your compassion 'immortality'?"

"I don't wanna live forever" She shook her head "It would be too sad"

Izou opened his mouth to answer him, but the noise outside the room caught both their attention. The woman stared confused at the door, trying to understand what was being saying- She didn't knew exactly who but she could feel hatred. Surprise. Guilt. Just what was happening out there? Izou's sigh when he turned at her again was suspicious enough for her to wonder if there was some kind of possibility of him knowing what was happening.

"You hungry? I bet you are" Slowly, Kaede's head turned to him completely, looking at him with a slightly raised eyebrow and a little frown in her face. Izou's deep sigh was not the only thing that made her maintain that expression for much longer, but the fact that he actually didn't say a word. He just stood there, staring at the sheets of her bed, probably thinking about a way to not tell her whatever was on his mind.

She was not about to give up.

"Izou, what's happening out there?"

"Doc is going to kill me if he founds that that I told you. He doesn't want you to stress yourself over anything in your condition" A hand went to the back of his neck, an slightly annoyed and tired expression on his face "Your… Commodore- well, your _ex_ officer, Drake, found us like an hour ago" He grimaced, but it didn't fool Kaede; she could see the worry in his eyes, the gesture that only a few people inside that ship ever made. It meant that it was not as superficial as it seemed, and when she first heard the name Kaede mentally started to pray "Marco's at his ship now, he didn't let him come on board and see you; apparently the man wants something that mad Marco pretty… angry"

That would be an understatement.

An disgustingly major understatement.

"And you let him?" Kaede had her moth slightly open, trying to process the information; she had heard about Drake that last year, didn't see him though. She had tried her best to smile every time there was an article in the newspaper about him, and after a while it had been easier- if she had showed him one thing was to not to think twice about what you really wanted. If that was what he really wanted, then she was happy for him. But there was a difference between that and the fact that he was talking to _Marco- _a slightly dangerous difference.

"What was I supposed to do? You know how he gets sometimes" It took him a moment to realize why she was moving the sheets of her body- the fact that she tried to put her feet on the floor was his cue for putting his hand on her shoulder, a frown on his face "What do you think you are doing? Your ribs are still damaged"

"You don't understand, Izou, if Drake gets angry then he can say really… problematic things to Marco" That was another disgustingly major understatement. A huge one in fact. Something that, no matter for how many things she had passed through the years nor how many fights and arguments she had had, Kaede was not prepared for, in the slightest "I can't let it happen"

"I understand, but first…" She could see the hesitation on his face, and then, there was sadness. Even if it was for a moment the woman was pretty sure that she had seen what not many pirates would show in front of someone else, and just to taste a little of his feelings with her Haki all her attempts of moving were shut down. When he saw that she was not going to move anymore he let go of her, but his expression still held feelings that Kaede didn't feel comfortable with- his eyes still held a look that she didn't like in the slightest. He sighed again, and sitting beside her on the edge of the bed, Izou opened his mouth again "Kaede, there is something… you need to know"

She didn't like the tone he used.

She didn't like the look in his face.

And you can be sure as hell that she didn't like the imagines that were starting to appear in her head.

* * *

><p>"No"<p>

"It was not a request"

"I don't think it was one, but the answer is still the same: No" Marco had almost permanently his arms crossed over his shoulder, a dangerous look in his eyes as he glared at the men dressed in blue in front of him. He didn't care the numerous men that were standing behind the captain were starting to take their weapons out, there was absolutely no way he was going to allow what Drake was asking him, even if that meant he had to sink his ship right there "Now take your sorry ass, your ship and your crew out of my sight before I decided to shock some sense into that apparently empty head of yours in a not so gently way"

"No"

"I don't know if you have notice, _captain-san" _Marco smirked slightly, tilting his head slitghtly to one side. You would think of that as a good gesture, but Drake knew better- he had always known better. That was not a gesture that indicated a good intention, that was an animal's movement when considering if to eat its target or not. He knew it. But he didn't move, not even an inch; maybe you could call it animal instinct as well. Maybe the dinosaur inside him, having the oldest sense of self preserve, was enough for him to stick to his guns. And that was exactly what he was going to do. Marco noticed it, because he almost immediately frowned at him "But that was not _request_"

They never got along. Not when they first met, nor in the years after that. Since he hated him back it was he liked to call a healthy and normal relation with a marine, since Kaede was an abnormal case, in the best of the ways. But the point was surprisingly simple: Marco hated Drake, and Drake hated him back- The only reason they had not fought in the past was Kaede, but now Marco seriously considered the option of kicking the other man's ass if that meant he could get him out of there. It seemed like a good idea to him; he had been sitting besides Kaede, waiting for her to wake up when Haruta had come inside to told him that there was something he needed to see. He had been reluctant in leaving the room because not even the doctor knew when she was going to wake up, but since the first moment he saw the ship when it was still kind of far from theirs, he had an incredible bad feeling.

"Any way; what makes you think, for even a _moment, _that I'm going to let you take Kaede with you? You must have a pretty impressive reason behind all of this: enlight me"

He had been right.

It had been an incredibly stupid thing what had brought Drake to the island they had been staying in.

And Marco made it a point to leave it clear to him, laughing in his face the first time Drake pronounced a word about it. It had been truly hilarious.

"Is not you whom I need to speak"

"I think I am"

"Tell me something, has it ever crossed your mind the idea of Kaede having things that she doesn't want to tell anybody- to tell you? Do you have any idea of the kind of things that happened all those years?" Marco cold perfectly see how most of the men standing behind Drake flinched at his words- He didn't need to focus on them to know who were the ones that had previously been on Kaede's crew. He then glared at Drake again, lips pressed into a tight line "Oh, right, of course you don't" He let out a dry laugh, but it sounded for like a growl than anything else "You were not there for her"

"Don't you think I wanted to be? We lost complete contact years ago; I didn't know where she was"

"Then you could have looked for her"

"Weren't you the one that betrayed her? Don't think I didn't hear about it" Marco's words were full of dry humor, but his serious expression didn't change one little bit. You could say the same about Drake even thought his hands had long closed to fists, trying to hold himself back. They both knew Marco had touched a soft spot with his words, and apparently he was going to take the best out of it "A rear admiral betraying the marines with half of the crew he was in, kind of hard to forget. You don't have the _moral_ to say anything to me"

"She was waiting for you!" And even when it did sound like a snarl, he somehow managed to keep his anger at bay, because it was not to fight him why he was there. Even if he really wanted to "Were you seriously waiting for her to tell you? To ask for real help? She doesn't think she needs it; we are talking about Danielle D Kaede, for crying out loud!" The small pause in Marco's face told Drake that he knew that it was true, but it was not like he was anywhere near saying that aloud. Didn't matter how right he was, Marco still hated him to the bone. And it was not like that was going to change any time soon.

"Kaede is under _our _care now. She doesn't have to worry about anything anymore"

"Your very presence is something that will make her weak. You didn't see her when everything was bad, I did; you were not there when she was broken and weak, I did. You know nothing" Drake snapped at him, causing Marco to actually light his shoulders with blue flames, but the pirate captain didn't move from his place. The commander tried his best to not punch him in the face right there, closing his hands tightly into firsts.

"What the hell are you talking about, Drake?"

"Let me say it in a way that even you can understand, Phoenix" And Drake tried his best to keep his voice at a normal level, because he didn't like the subject himself, and it was not like he needed someone else to know about it- even when he knew that there was a ship full of other's crew pirates looking at them just a few meters away. It was the first thing that had come to his mind when he figured that, if the woman was not at the headquarters, then she was with the pirate; since the beginning he didn't meant to give that information, but it turned out to maybe be the only thing that could make the commander see what he was missing "Kaede-san had a miscarriage two years ago"

The look in Marco's face would have been priceless if they were in a different situation.

It really would have been.

"What?"

"Oh, for the love of- She was going to have a baby, Marco!" It was kind of like seeing a bomb exploiting, just in front of Marco's stunned face. The complete silence surrounding them didn't make it any better- the multiple pairs of eyes looking at them in silent only told Marco how real that situation was. He was pretty sure that he had forgotten how to breathe properly for a second, the same second his heart decided to stop beating; Drake seemed to notice that, but his face was no less angry than before "She was going to have _your _baby!"


	21. To be hated

3,876 words, and not even **once** I stopped crying.

Just prepare yourself.

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece.

* * *

><p><em>"<em>_If is a girl, then her name is going to be Ann"_

_"__And if is a boy?"_

_"__Then Ace. Those are the names that __**he **__chose"_

_"__You know, Rogue-san? I think is going to be a boy"_

_"__Oh my, is that so?"_

Maybe, deep inside, a part of her did remember what had happened at the battle field- What she had seen and what she had felt when she saw Akainu trying to attack Luffy, the boy that she saw as walking miracle. When she saw Ace get in the way, showing that way how deep he cared for his little brother even when they were not blood related. When she saw Shirohige coughing blood, because even a man as great as he was not immune to the pass of the years and the impact of that to his body and health. And when Kurohige appeared out of nowhere to what she could describe as rub alcohol into a open and fresh wound, because, what else could you call what he had done when he stole Edward Newgate's fruit power? There was nothing else.

Disgusting, maybe. That was pretty accurate as well.

Maybe the reason why that part that remembered everything hide all of that from her, was because there was nothing she could do to actually change any of it- She could remember trying in the battle field and falling when the broken rib pierced her lung, just before she fought with as many officers as she could. Kaede remembered seeing Toshiro, she remembered kicking him on the shoulder, and she could remember him pretending to be really hurt when he actually wasn't because he was stronger than that- She could remember listening to his words when she ran by his side to get to Ace -_It was an honor, Vice Admiral Kaede; it really was_-.

Maybe that was why the graves in front of her looked almost unrealistic- Because, how could it be possible for those two men to be death? It would bee ridiculous, it sounded ridiculous. And if you hadn't been in that battlefield that day, or read about it in the newspaper, you would think the same thing; Kaede was sure that if it wasn't because she was sitting in front of them right now, she wouldn't believe it either.

She didn't want to believe.

But she needed to do it.

Because it was most probably that the thing she needed the most at that moment, was to cry. As hard as she could, as hard as it was possible for her body. To cry like she had never ever done before- maybe even more than when her mother died, or than when she found her father wounded in an alley when she was sixteen, when she saw the pool of blood under his face down body. But it was incredibly strange how her mind body seemed to not want to grant her wish- her eyes were wide open and fixed on the stones and the names that were on them, her mind without a doubt had already processed the information, but no tears seemed to want to come out.

Not even when she almost begged them to.

She couldn't be immune to her own pain forever, no matter how long it took. Hopefully enough that would be true- That was what she kept thinking since Izou told her all the details that she could slowly remember, when she insisted going to see the graves and he took her without a single word, when they got to the hill and he sat her down in front of the stones while asking the rest of the people that were there to give her a minute; Kaede couldn't remember if someone had said something to that, but they had left anyway. Izou had left shortly after that, saying that he would come back for her if she needed him to.

She couldn't remember having said anything to him.

And so she waited. Not just for her tears to come out of her eyes, or the sorrow to attack her and leave her weak, but for anything at all to happen- for anything at all to make the far away memories leave her alone. So the all the conversations that she had had with Shirohige would, for a moment, go away. So Ace's annoyed face while she accompanied him inside the ship that was to take him to the headquarters, wouldn't bother her as much. So Rogue's smiling face from the first time Kaede met her while she was pregnant with Ace didn't made her feel guilty.

They kept getting inside her head anyway.

But she kept waiting.

For minutes. Maybe an hour.

She waited and waited, looking at the graves with nothing but sad memories inside her head. Kaede kept looking at them even when she heard someone approach her from behind- she didn't move when she first felt the uncertainty of the person that was now stopping at her back. The woman didn't need to turn around or to use her Haki to know who was, but for what seemed like hours to her, neither of them said a word. But, just as her immunity to her own pain, it couldn't last forever.

"You picked the red flowers, if I'm not mistaken" Kaede's voice was not much better than when she first woke up even thought she Izou had made her drink a couple of glasses of water just a few minutes ago- Maybe it was because of how much time she had sat out there, even when she was sure of how long was that.

"Yeah" His voice was soft, somehow distant- Marco cleared his throat when he noticed that as well, but at the end it was not much of a difference "How did you know" The commander took another two step close to her back, but she still didn't turn around, nor he tried to make her to actually do it.

"They remind me of him- I think that maybe, they remind you of him as well"

He didn't answer.

Kaede knew why- She knew his pain, she could feel it, but the uncertainty was still there. And it didn't take a genius or a mind reader to figure what made Marco feel like that- It didn't take a genius or a fortune teller, to know that moment was what Kaede had been avoiding for a pretty long time now. As she took a deep breath, once more sing the pain as something to distract herself from her feelings, she tried her best to picture in her head the temple that was near the island where Drake was born and the baby pink flowers that they had left in front of the tiny grave stone, even when said grave was empty.

"He told you?"

If he thought of that as a really stupid question, Marco didn't say anything.

Actually, for a moment Kaede was afraid to feel the same hatred as before, but there was nothing like that at her back when she used her Haki. Not even the slightest hint of it- that was what made her so nervous. Having him yelling at her was way better by far than him not saying a word to her, even more when she was expecting absolutely anything.

But at the end, and as usual, his answer was not something that she didn't quite think about.

"Yes"

There was silence once more, and maybe, just maybe, that was what they both needed at that moment. Kaede needed it so she could try and wonder what she was supposed to say now; Marco needed it so he could try and figure what he the hell he was feeling at that moment- or more like what he was supposed to feel and think at that moment. Nothing in all his life had prepared him for that, not even the death of two of his the most precious people for him; if you would have told him that he was going to go through something like that, he wouldn't have laughed, but at least he would have kicked the crap out of whoever had said it, because that was not something Marco wished for anybody.

"I was adopted"

What he felt was most probably 'cold pain'; like when you go through an old album and suddenly feel nostalgic and sad, but you know that you can't do anything because what caused your pain is really far from you. So much that you can't even touch it- everyone dealt with it in different ways, he just didn't know how Kaede would. That was why he stared at her so surprised when she spoke, the impact of the words slowly touching his brain.

"What?"

"This is something I need to tell Ace, so you may listen to this as well"

The wind moved the flowers, but neither of them moved from the place. Marco could see her hands so tightly closed that her knuckles were completely white- he still didn't move. You could say that he didn't dare to, and who could blame him? Like, for real? He had barely been able getting off Drake's ship because of how his brain basically decided to work a little bit slower. When the crew told him where Kaede was, he had expended at least ten minutes just standing in the same place before he could even think of going where she was. It was like those moments when you are dreaming and you are aware that is a dream but you still can move.

Bu that was not a dream.

That was as real as he was- as real as she was. As real as how angry Drake looked when he told Marco all the things Kaede had been through since the accident; all the crying inside her room or the weeks she just didn't seem to remember that she needed to eat. As real as the realization that, in fact, and no matter how hard it had been to go through Thatch's death, she had had a really bad time herself.

"I was found as a baby in front of my parent's house in the East Blue, there was no note- actually there was nothing but a new born baby in a basket; They told me it was a rainy day" She didn't turn to look at him, and Marco was half grateful for that since he want completely sure about what to do at a moment like that, so at the end he choose to close his mouth and wait for her to talk all she wanted. She wanted him to listen? He would, even when he had a bad feeling about it "I never actually thought about it because my parents told me that there was no need for it- they told me I was better like that, that my biological parents probably were cold hearted people. I ended up believing it. But destiny is a really funny and disgusting thing, because one day I just found this really old and famous pirate in a bar who told me about how much I looked like my _father_" She chuckled, but it was nothing but a bitter gesture, something with no trace of humor on it "In all this years I still haven't decided if I hate or not Silvers Rayleigh because of being inside that damn bar that day. He told me things that maybe I was better without knowing"

"Rayleigh?" The thing that seemed to surprise him was not the fact that he knew a person from her story, but the fact of who was that person. He tried his best to not open his mouth to make any kind of comment, knowing that she was going to give him an answer anyway.

"Twenty years ago, when Gold Roger's era ended with his death, all people having some kind of connection with him were to be killed- Twenty years ago, my biological mother was executed too… because she had the same last time as him" Since the revelation didn't seem to have any effect on Marco, she risked a look at him over her shoulder- His face was slightly surprised, but aside from that there was nothing at all "She was his big sister" And even when she elaborated, he didn't have a major change in his face. Biting her lower lip Kaede turned around, looking at the graves once more "It turns out that the marines had been chasing her for years, even before he became the Pirate King- that was when I realized it" The bitter memory crossed her mind for a second, and it was like cold water for her; cold, painful and lasting "If they had known about me, about who I was, that I carried _that_ family's blood, I would have never even reached the year of life"

The woman didn't exactly know if she was right, nor would she ever know it, but maybe that fact was something that at some point Ace had realized as well. Maybe, just as her, that was when he started to think that everything would be just so much better if he hadn't been born- there were so _many _people around the world that repeated for years how glad they were that Gold Roger's bloodline was completely over, that at some point it was the only thing you could think about if you were in his on her position.

That was the moment when you started to wonder if what ran through your veins was nothing more than a sin.

Kaede pressed a hand to her forehead, trying to push back her own memories- She would not be of any good if she started to think like that again, at that moment out of all things.

"I… I felt disgusted with myself Marco" She mumbled "For years I thought nothing but bad things about them, and they were just trying to…"

The words got stuck on her throat, and she could do nothing but to swallow hard, as hard as she could. That was exactly the reason why she didn't even try to remember that kind of things, because then to push all of that to the hole where she was buried them it was not easy at all- those were things that she was not willing to let free, mostly because those memories were probably just going to try and take her down.

"When I found out that I was pregnant, I was five months old" Kaede tried her best to keep talking even though she found it even more difficult with each passing second "Quite the marine, wasn't I? To not notice something like that until the very last moment- I wonder how much time I would have lasted like that if we hadn't been attacked by Big Mom. I guess Drake already told you all about it" She wasn't expecting an answer, and as she predicted she didn't receive one "The doctors told me that it was not strange since there had been more than one case like mine, but that's… that's just not truth"

Maybe the worst part was actually knowing that.

Because it would make sense: In her life the thing that always made everything worse, even more painful, was knowing _too much. _

"I can feel _everything _with my Haki, but I… I couldn't feel _her_" And yes, she could clearly remember the second when the doctor had announced that her baby had been a girl. The sole memory made her wince "And that was when I realized how _scared _I was of being a mother- How scared I_ am _of not being able to protect a kid like my mother and father protected me. Sengoku knows about my heritage and he was already preparing everything in case I betrayed them; if I had a kid? What was I going to do? How was I going to protect her from them?" Her lips were pressed together in a thin line, and she closed with even more strength her hands around the piece of clothing, probably being near tearing it "You know what the worst part was? That if I hadn't been scared, I would have actually been able to know that she was inside me- I would have actually…" She hoped for a second that whispering the words would help a little"…been able to protect her…"

It didn't help. In the slightest.

Not when there was a long, deep and heavy silence after them, like she had said nothing in the first place- She actually thought that it had been better if she hadn't said so much. What had she been thinking while talking? Right, she wasn't thinking straight; other of the reasons why she didn't to remember so _much. _It didn't just put her in a stupidly weak position, but left pain when she managed to control the memories again- It was like a hangover. A disgust hangover.

And it was not even the worst thing at that moment.

She had said before, she preferred Marco to yell at her than him not saying a word. It was like silent torture, maybe even something that was even worse, and it was exactly what she felt at that moment. It was like that moment at Banaro, when she had shut her Haki down even when it had caused her a massive headache, everything so she wouldn't know what Marco felt at that very moment- She head was already in pain, a little bit more was not going to make a big difference anyway.

If it was going to take her attention away, then she would do it.

If it was going to take the silence away, then it was worth it.

"I bet she have your eyes"

_Eh?_

Before she realized it he was already sitting by her side, close enough for Kaede to feel his warm, so different from the cold breeze on that hill. His eyes were settled on the sky and she was not completely sure if he actually meant to say aloud what she had just heard- there was a small smile on his lips, something similar to the ones that he always had when they started to develop a friendship that lasted years and years. Something that, at that moment, confused Kaede to no end.

That was when her brain processed what he had just said.

But he didn't give her time to think about it.

"And I sure hope she haves your smile" A small chuckle escaped his lips. And that, for some strange and unknown reason of the universe, was the only thing that could actually bring tears to her eyes "Because, you know, if she had a smile like yours I'm sure she was accepted in heaven right away- I mean, how can He let the opportunity of having something like that up there with him pass? I bet someone up there was jealous of us since the very beginning" He tilted his face, closing his eyes and letting the wind touch his face, just like he had teach her to do while flying- the feeling of freedom that you couldn't change for anything, and that would grow with each step you took to get away of your past.

The kind of things that a pirate seemed to have at every moment, at the same time the things she had wanted for most part of her life.

"You know what else I think? That right now Ace is playing with her, because they are family right? Cousins" There was a small pause, just when pain crossed Marco's smile and his smile got a little bit small- but it was still there. How he managed to do that? Kaede didn't had the slightest idea "And is sure that Pops is with them, just watching probably- But he's there to protect them as well, and even when nothing can harm them there, he's still with them" Marco looked at her, a smile on his face, nothing like his usual smirk- nothing like the things that all his enemies ever saw "Yeah, she probably had your smile"

_Eyes of the color of the honey. _

_Wide smile. _

_Most probably blond. _

It was the first time she had tried to picture her, and the result was not as painful as she thought it was going to be. Maybe because Marco reached over to take a hold of her hand, or maybe because was kind enough to smile at her and silently wait for her brain to try and move her body. When he was still a marine and in her ship, Kaede had heard Drake say that she was way too good someone like Marco, but that was not true at all; it was, actually, the contrary: Marco was too good for Kaede.

She thought that maybe it was a good thing to say at that moment.

But then she realized that she could not speak.

"Is not just because I'm a pirate that I hate the navy, Kaede" Marco shook his head a little, using the little silence to speak in something a little bit louder than a whisper "We are the scum of the world, people hates us, they pray so we get killed or something like that- we learn how to live with that. The navy is different. They keep talking about justice, but they don't know what is to live this life. Is not like we care, but it would be nice to be understood for once" He then chuckled "That's when you come to scene"

"What?" She somehow managed to pronounce something in between the tears that were quietly accumulating themselves at the corners of her eyes.

"I can't say that I have already figured everything you just have just told me, because I certainly didn't think of that possibility" The commander admitted, but his expression was nothing near what Kaede had expected "So, picture this: You have been a pirate most of your life, you hate the navy because of what I just told you, and you have vowed to send them all back to hell. One day you meet a marine, you of course want to fight because there is no way someone like her is going to stop and listen to you, right? But then, out of nowhere, she smiles at you, and is almost like she already _knows _what you have to say" He used his left hand to brush off the lonely tear at her cheek "Almost like she actually knows how is to be hated"

Kaede tried not to sound too desperate when she started to cry.

God knows she tried.

She failed miserably, but she still tried, and at the end that is what counts the most right?

"Everything is going to be okay, Kaede"

Somewhere in between crying and trying to breathe, the woman felt how Marco embraced her so she would be close to him. And even if his voice was something that sounded distant, like something part of a dream, she was pretty sure that he meant it down to the last letter

"Everything is going to be okay"


	22. A little bit more

Here, a little something so you start your week with a little bit of hatred toward me. Love ya' all.

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece.

* * *

><p>"What are you doing here?"<p>

Kaede looked over her shoulder, holding with one hand the fabric that was over her shoulder so it wouldn't move from its place while she bent over the grave for a moment, the voice startling her a little since she hadn't been paying much attention to her surroundings. When she saw Marco her hand immediately released on top of the stone the newspaper that she had been reading aloud for the two gravestones just a couple of minutes ago, being careful on not touching the numerous flowers surrounding them since she was convinced with a single touch she would most probably damage them; standing straight again, a wide smile placed itself on her lips while she walked towards him.

"It's going to rain soon; you should stay inside the ship for today" He added after a moment, a small smile on his face. It was just at that moment that the woman noticed the dark grey clouds that covered most part of the horizon- He was right, it was probably going to rain really soon.

"If I had done that then I wouldn't have had the chance to set foot on land for a couple of weeks more, we are sailing tomorrow morning, right?" She didn't wait for him to answer, tilting her face to one side when her eyes immediately fell on the ships that could be seen from the top of the hill they were standing in- She couldn't quite make the shapes from that distance, but she was quite sure that most part of the crew was taking boxes of supplies inside the ship "Besides, I wanted to be the first one reading today's newspaper to Ace" Kaede nodded towards the graves, and when she turned to look at Marco's face he was already looking over her shoulder.

"Oh, yeah" A smirk crossed his face when he reached over to take a hold of her waist, his other hand placed on his belt as they both looked at the photo that covered the front page of the newspaper, chuckling almost at the same time at the kid that had being photographed running from or towards something "Heard about that from Haruta" And how could he not? He had been inside his office talking to their allies through the Den Den Mushi when they received that morning newspaper, so therefore he hadn't been there either when they first found out about Mugiwara no Luffy's crew appearing in Shabondy. It was something they were most probably going to celebrate at dinner.

She had personally almost jumped in happiness.

Since Kaede quitted the marines two years ago it had been tougher than they had anticipated since the beginning- Sure, having Sengoku set a bounty of quite a amount for her head had not been a surprise, if anything, it had been hilarious to see the numerous 0's under her name. But since the actually Fleet Admiral was Bakainu, much to the world's disgrace, things got a little bit more difficult for them; Marco had been able of protecting the crew just alright, but the islands under their protecting were something that had all of them worried.

So having something to smile for was really nice.

The cold breeze took her with her guard down, and even before she could try to push it away, the coughing was almost unstoppable. Kaede could feel Marco's hand by her back, moving gently up and down her spine just like the doctor had taught him almost a year ago- For now that kind of movements were almost automatic, but it was not something that neither of them enjoyed in the slightest; in fact it was something that Marco hated with all his heart, not that Kaede particularly liked it. It died after a while, but the bitter taste was left on her mouth, and Kaede ignored with all her might the fact that maybe and just maybe the disgustingly familiar metallic taste of blood was present as well.

"I knew you had to stay inside today" The woman heard the now captain mumbled as he held her waist even tighter, bringing her small body close to his, probably so she could get some of his body heat "Is way too cold here"

"Its okay" She shook her head, trying her best to push away from her mind the look that she could see on Marco's face when she looked up, because it was not something she liked in the slightest, and it was even worse when she knew that she was the cause of it "Is not going to fully develop now. I'm still okay" And even if it was true, there was not real assurance being those words. The worst part was that even when Kaede knew it, there was nothing she could do about it.

It was ironic in every possible way.

It was most probable that one of the things the world government, therefore majority of the population at an international level as well, hated the most was her blood and at the end it was the thing that was going to kill her- She could still remember telling Crocus when they went to see him at the reverse mountain for a better opinion since Marco knew by a fact that he was a very good doctor, that the reason why he couldn't heal the Pirate King was mostly because it was something that came with the blood, and consequently there was nothing he could actually do. She could still remember figuring it out, and you would think a lot about it as well if one day and completely out of the blue you start coughing blood.

After all, it really was a 'cursed' blood line.

Incredibly ironic.

But the worst part had not been discovering herself, oh no- the worst part had come when she had to tell Marco.

That had not been a pleasant conversation. At all.

"Sometimes I think you should just stay in one of the islands we managed to bring back to our protection" He mumbled, but it still was loud enough for Kaede to hear it.

"And have Bakainu send ships when he finds out? Not a chance" The woman shook her head "It would be easy if we had Toshiro to tell us what's happening at the headquarters, but we haven't seen him that much since he got promoted to Rear Admiral, but maybe is better that way- I'm sure Bakainu is preventing him from helping us, just like Sengoku did with me" She smiled at him "Besides, there is absolutely no way I'm going to let you go away in a ship while I stay in land, that's way too unfair" She expected him to smile, but to her great disappointment he even frowned at her.

"There was a time when you didn't like that much being inside a ship"

"When I was young and carefree, and thought that I had forever?" She mused, a chuckle escaping her lips- Now she sounded like a really old woman. Not that she was going to ever going to make that comment aloud "Yeah, I remember. But that was before I got my devil fruit, and before I actually thought of being as free as I am right now" Kaede tilted her face to one side, still looking at Marco's face. She raised a hand to his cheek, leaving it there for a second with a reassuring smile on her face "That's worth all the trouble" There was a moment of silence until he reached for her hand, closing his eyes.

"There are some things that cannot be measured in how much you want it or not"

They had been over that a million times.

It was not easy, not for him or for her or for anyone in the crew since they were a big family, but it was not something Kaede was going to stop her life for. She had been taught to live her life to the fullest, and when she had seen so many young people die in front of her eyes, that was the only thing she wanted to do with the time that was left- It was a new era, a new generation, just how sad would it be to not be able to see it? How sad would it be to not see, for example, Luffy again?

It was just not something she could accept.

"Don't even think I'm ever going to give up" For a really rear second a frown could be seen on her face, but as quickly as it had come it had left, a small smile and a shrug on its place "I still have lots of things I want to do and see, what is going to happen with my soul if I die with so many things in my list? God, I'm most probably going to end up with those heavy chains for all the eternity. That's even sadder than immortality" She grimaced "Besides, I still have a very big 'something' to live for" Kaede stated matter of factly, making Marco raise an eyebrow at her.

The woman was just happy that a smile could finally be seen on his face.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yep"

"Care to share it with me?" He asked, hands on her waist, and by his tone she could tell that he was half serious, half mocking- it surprised her how even after all those years he managed to act just like the first time they met. She only smiled at him for a second as an answer, chuckling when he frowned.

After death, what you leave behind is basically all the people that you ever loved in your life- when you die you leave them with your memory in their hearts, and, sometimes and for some people, that's just way too much. Like when her father died and she actually thought about killing herself, because pain is the probe that you are alive, and if you don't want to feel pain anymore then the solution is quite obvious.

So it was not that she wanted to live forever- it was not the so desired immortality what she was looking for. It was not an extremely long life either, nor some sort of miraculous cure to solve all her problems or the illness that was slowly consuming her and that in the end was going to kill her. What she looked for was not some sort of salvation from anything, or something that would last forever and ever.

The only thing that she asked for was a little bit of time. And for the first time in her life she didn't thought that it was a selfish thing to wish for, because if it was for her she would just let the thing inside of her just finish as quickly as possible. But that was the thing: she was not doing it for her.

Just a little bit more was okay in her opinion; one year, even two or three, and that would more than what she could ever expect. Whatever could be granted to her, she wanted it.

So she could keep smiling at him, just like she was doing at that moment.

So that she wouldn't leave Marco behind. So she could leave a piece of her with him.

"Is just that I love you more than I hate myself" Kaede shook her head a little, reaching for his hand with one of hers when they started to slowly walk down the hill. Realization hit her after a second as she stopped mid step, making Marco look at her with a raised eyebrow "Well, you and this little one" She motioned on her tummy's direction with one hand, and she was pretty sure that she could basically hear Marco's heart stopping for a second. With a raised eyebrow Kaede looked at him, but his expression seemed almost frozen in time, so much that she actually got worried for a minute.

Then he started to breathe again.

"…What?"

After a few seconds Kaede felt stupid for not realizing sooner what had left her mouth without really noticing it. Just the nurses knew about it, and just because they had been the ones noticing the so particular symptoms that Kaede had been presenting the last weeks- It had been awfully difficult to keep it a secret when they were all happy around her, specially from people like Izou, who seemed to have a six sense for that kind of things. According to the specialist she had gone to visit in secret at the last island they had been in just two weeks ago, she was four months- The old woman even gave Kaede a photo that was now safely locked inside the infirmary.

Now she remembered why it had been inside there and not in their bedroom.

She didn't want Marco to find it, because she had been planning on tell him after a while, when they got to a safer place. Like that island, for example.

"Oh" An amused smile appeared on her lips "...Surprise?"

* * *

><p><strong>THE END<strong>


	23. After story: Candles

"Sorry Kaede, I seriously didn't though it was going to take so lon- _Get the hell out of my house, you psycho!_"

"Oh, is Law there?"

It was easy to ignore the people that stared at her after the scream came out of her phone, because, let's face it, when it concerned her cousin she had been in far more embarrassing situations; like that one time he suddenly decided that shirts were no longer something wearable outside the house, and by the end of the week she was sitting at the police station with their guardian, listening to the cop that was at the moment trying to explain to them that going half naked to the supermarket was, in fact, categorized as exhibitionism- Maybe it was not the charge itself, but the fact that Garp had laughed his head off in the middle of the station.

Besides, it would be a lie if she said that it actually bothered her.

"I wanted to think that after years you would get used to the kid appearing inside our house, Ace" There was a mumbled curse at the other side of the line, but she was pretty sure she didn't want to know what he had said, so she just chuckled, playing with the box in that was on her spare hand, but being careful not to drop it- To tell their adoptive little brother that they no longer had the small crystal box to place their candle would be as bad as admitting to a cop that you just killed someone. Not pretty at all "He is not half as bad as you want to picture him. Besides, he _is _Luffy's friend, and classmate, _and _our neighbor"

"He is creepy, and suspicious, _and _freaking annoying" And _maybe_ he was right, because when you saw their little brother's friend you would say that he was some kind of ghost that came to hunt you to the ends of the world, but she was not about to say that aloud since that was just the first impression you could get from the kid, but after that he was really polite and a really good friend to Luffy, who needed someone to put him to study when they were not around, so she had nothing against him- Also, she had already gotten used to him appearing in front or inside their house at Saturdays, saying that because he had nothing to do and there was nothing sweet as his house, he would be staying with them for the day. Ace still tried to hide the spare key in a better place, but she knew it was useless.

"He's just fourteen"

"_Still_"

People walked pass her, some of them holding presents that would soon be under some colorful tree in the corner of a room full of people, friends and family- There was a smile on her face when a group of kids hugged the Santa at the other side of the street, laughing heartily while doing it. It was not like she knew why, nor did she knew if she had finally going nuts, because people had always said to her that she was kind of messed up in the head, but there was something tickling inside her chest every time she saw a strong emotion like that. A cold one for sadness, painful for hatred, and warm for happiness, just like at that moment.

Yes, she probably was really crazy.

"Anyway, we are going now" There was an annoyed huff, and she could very well picture the frown in Ace's face when he realized that there was no possible of way of getting rid of Law anytime soon- And really, you would think that after at least seven years of living in the same circumstances, he would be used to it by now. Kaede suspected that deep inside he already knew that it was a lost cause, but well, things like that made life even more cheerful "If we are lucky and we can catch the next bus, we'll be there in twenty minutes, thirty top"

"Just take care" Since the call had already been off, her cousin would never hear the chuckle that came after her words, nor the words themselves. So she just sat there after placing the phone inside her pocket, pulling a little bit more the scarf that was around her neck so she could cover at least a little of her mouth, because there was something she was suddenly aware of.

It was cold.

Like, really cold. And Kaede was pretty sure that it would snow again, she just prayed so it would happen after they placed their candle at the plaza with the rest before it could happen. Luffy would be really sad if they couldn't do it, and the only reason she tried to get out of her part time job early was so she could go and buy the crystal box the candle was supposed to go inside was to cherish the tradition that _he _had started when he was just seven years old.

She would be damn the rest of her life if she couldn't keep it going.

The girl could see from where she was sitting how a couple of other families placed their candles at the plaza, standing there after it just to watch the somehow colorful flame that would probably last just a couple of hours. But until then, it would be beautiful.

And suddenly she was thankful that her adoptive little brother and her only blood relative were not there at the moment, because she could very well picture the kind of conversation that Luffy and Ace would want to have if they saw her with an expression that suggested that she was pretty close to tears, even when it was not actually true- She would _not _cry, and since that was as clear as the crystal that she was holding between her hands, it was out of the question. Hopefully she would find a way of changing it before they got there, maybe to something that she actually felt, like, just for the sake of giving an example that was maybe too close to the reality, lost.

Maybe that would be worst that see her crying in the middle of the street.

But because she didn't have a better word to describe it, that was it. It was not the greatest explanation, and even if you did had it beforehand, it would still not make sense. It was something that she could barely understand- something that she was in process of understanding, as her eyes were fixed on the countless candles in front of her, somehow brighter that whatever she could have seen before in her life.

When she was little, she was afraid of fire.

Even if it was as small as to be a candle's fire, she didn't want to go near it. She really thought that the simple fact of standing close to it would burn her, and there was absolutely nothing she was more afraid of than fire- she could even remember that one time, before Garp adopted her and she was still at the old orphanage she had been in since her first adoptive parents had died, there had been a terrible storm, and all the electricity had been out. It didn't matter how scared she was, how dark the house got, she refused to light a candle.

But maybe more than to scare her, it made her sad.

It was mostly something that she could see when she closed her eyes every time she stepped away from fire, like some kind of lost memory from a little long time ago, or something from a dream she couldn't forget but that she couldn't quite place either. Warm, and if she focused, blue as well, almost like feathers.

Almost like a person.

Someone that she missed, even if she couldn't remember.

Something that, truly, didn't make sense.

"Aren't they pretty?"

He was blond.

He was taller than her.

He was a little bit older than her.

And what seemed out of the blue, he was sitting in the spot right besides her.

I took her a second to process that after she turned around, her guard having being completely down at that moment; when had he gotten there, in the first place? She had no idea. Why he was talking to her? No idea. Why he looked like a pineapple with his hairstyle? No idea. Why he was _smiling _at her? No idea.

"They are"

Why she even answered him? Still no idea.

Kaede actually realized what she had done after she had said it. And that scared her, like, actually startled her, because it was not a thing she normally allowed herself to do- She was supposed to be the one always taking care of her small but functional family, so Kaede had gotten used to always be alert, even when there was not apparent threat. It had been something that she didn't quite know why she knew how to do, but since she just knew it, it was an advantage.

But at that moment that was kind of forgotten.

It took her a while to realize it as well, the couple of seconds she allowed herself to have so she could analyze his face properly. As strange as it sounded his face was not like the unknown ones that you could always see walking on the streets, it was more like something you were meant to notice, and not because he didn't look Japanese at all- Hell, she didn't look Japanese, just to start with, but that man's face was just something… _different. _

"Strange" There was something between a smirk and a smile on his face, like his brain couldn't quite decide what it was the best expression to wear at that moment- And maybe if she didn't knew better, or more like if she knew better, she would say that it was because he didn't really know what to do at that moment. But it didn't make sense. Surely what she could see in his eyes was not anxiety at all, like she had first thought, because as she had said before it didn't make sense "I thought it wouldn't seem like you meant that"

Maybe she should have freaked out with that.

Maybe she should have stood up and walk away, to wait inside some shop until Ace came with the kids, or maybe she should only snap at him. Garp being the responsible guardian an obsessed marine that he was had teach her how to hold her own, and she was pretty sure that she could take someone down if things go bad- She had done it before, she could do it again.

Maybe she should have done something different from staring at him with growing curiosity, silently asking him to explain himself, because for some reason it suddenly seemed _important. _But she was nowhere near good doing what she was supposed to do, so that was exactly what she kept doing in silence. And for another strange reason, he seemed to just _understand _what she wanted, even when Kaede had stayed completely silence.

"If you ask me, I said you look kind of down, sitting here alone" The man added after a moment, hands inside the pockets of his pants even if it was probably uncomfortable while sitting, tilting his face so he could see her from a better angle. If she recognized his intentions she still said nothing, trying to comprehend herself, and trying to find somewhere inside her brain something that could tell her that she was being stupid for keeping the conversation going. She found nothing.

"I'm waiting for my family"

There was something close to recognition, both in his eyes and the way he tiled his head again. It was not a smooth movement since she had seen it as something close to awkward, but at the same time she couldn't help but to think that for a second he actually looked thrilled with her words, like they had actually made him happy. It was not a childish gesture like Luffy's when they got meat for lunch, or like Ace's when he got paid from the job that he didn't really need to have but found anyway; it was, in no way, something she had seen before.

And yet, it looked familiar.

_He _looked familiar.

And this time she couldn't quite convince herself that it was impossible.

"Still doesn't explain why you look like you are about to cry" The man narrowed his eyes a little, staring at her face in such a way that she actually had to look away to avoid whatever was pressing her head and her chest, almost like it was difficult to breath. When she looked at him sideways she could see that he shook his head after that, half turning his face from her to look at the people in front of them. Maybe at the Santa and the kids, or maybe at something else "But is not my business, is it? Sorry"

Something in the way he struggled just didn't seem right.

Actually, lots of things in the way he spoke to her didn't seem right, almost like he was omitting something, but what would you want to hide from an stranger? From someone that you was most probably not going to see again? She didn't believe in coincidences, just in things that were meant to happen from the very beginning. That was not a coincidence, nor something planned by god or destiny; it was not some sort of joke from high above, nor from deep down.

She couldn't help but to think that almost looked like a reencounter.

"Do you know me?"

Like most things she should have kept that inside her head, somewhere where nobody would ever hear or know about them. He was even standing from his place; but now? He was frozen on his feet, standing by her side with hands inside his pockets, eyes still fixed on whatever he was staring at the other side of the street- Maybe it _was _the Santa, and maybe he knew as well how it was to look at something happy, and maybe she was not as crazy as she most probably looked at that moment.

She had always been good at thinking of impossible things.

But he did turned his head, and he _did _look at her- Something soft and not mean at all, not amused by her words, not something meant to be cruel or something that suggested that he was about to laugh at her. Once more something that Kaede thought she should _know _because it looked _so _familiar and it was just so _sad _that she really felt like crying at that moment.

But he smiled.

Not a smirk.

Not a grin.

Not something that was supposed to seem so stupidly meaningful.

"Not fair" Nothing more than whisper; was she even meant to hear it? He was certainly looking at her, in a way that even if she was certain she had never seen before, seemed familiar. Like the scarf around his neck- Blue, warm. _Almost like feathers_ "Not fair, _Kaede_"

_Now who is the one that looks like is about to cry?_

"Oi! Kaede!"

Luffy's voice as unmistakable, even if it was in the middle of a crowd- Kaede's eyes didn't even need to scan the place to find him at the other side of the plaza, huge grin on his face, arms waving at her over his head, Ace standing at his side while glaring at the other dark haired kid standing at their brother's left, the kid that even when he looked serious and completely neutral Kaede knew was having a really good time. A scene that was familiar, the nostalgia itself.

_Still not fair. _

When she turned around, the man was nowhere to be found.

* * *

><p>Completely out of season, but I've always wanted to write an Immortal Marco fic.<p> 


	24. After Story: A Thousand More

For all those who wonder: Huntington's disease.

_Dear Marco,_

_I don't know how to write letter and I don't pretend to act as if I actually do, so I will need you to excuse the pathetic excuse of a written message that I present to you in this piece of paper. _

_I want to be able to write down what I truly think before I forget all about it, and since apparently is going to get worse sooner than later, I better get started with it: We have known each other for a really long time, haven't we? I bet you would be the only one able to make sense of this rambling, or so I hope, if not then I'm already and again making a fool of myself._

_Then again, I do that all the time._

_You know more than others how of a fool I am, and maybe because of that I didn't fully live up to my expectations, but I lived doing the little things I thought were right to do. It would be a lie to say that I'm not satisfied now, but I believe I'm an honest person, therefore is easy for me to pretend that I usually don't pretend: it is my wish to say now that there were lots of things I would have liked to do with my life before it ended, and that, no, a full life wouldn't have been enough time anyway._

_It is my own fault it is so short in the first place. _

_There is no place for complaining, is there? Even though it comes with the blood and even when my own cousin has the same damned disease as me, I was the one who pushed my body to the limit, and I was the one who kept doing it even when my fingers started to fail. I wouldn't have been happy without doing what I did with my time, so I don't mind it. _

_Yes, I know I'm going to die. _

_But I still don't mind it. _

_It was going to happen anyway, right?_

_The only thing I regret, is not being able to expend more time with you. I feel selfish by saying this, but I never said I wasn't selfish at all- I will miss not being able to make fun of you in front of the old man, and I will miss wondering how in earth you managed to hang the lamp on the ceiling of my room without a ladder when is quite a few feet from the ground; I will miss your discussions with Drake, and even if it is annoying, I will miss you making fun of me. I don't want to get to the point where I won't be able to remember missing all of that, or the point where I will need help to walk to the bathroom, but I since there is no way to stop it, I will take my time to write everything down. _

_I just need a little bit of time, just a little bit more. _

_You won't leave, so I'm not in a hurry._

_You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and not because you were the one who dragged me to the hospital, or because you don't look at me with pity. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me because you are you, and you means a complete me, a happy me, a emotionally stable me. _

_I just hope it can be different the next time._

_You are a crappy liar and I'm good at knowing what you are thinking, good at noticing how you seemed to already know I was sick even before I actually was, so I know this is not the first time we have ever met, or that this will not be the last. _

_Besides, from the very start I had the feeling I've loved you for a thousand years._

_And I wouldn't mind loving you for a thousand more. _

"What are you writing?"

"A letter" Kaede didn't look up from her work, folding the piece of paper in her hands until it was the perfect size to be put inside the envelop. The needle in her arm was uncomfortable, but it was tolerable; finally pressing her back against the frame of the hospital bed, the woman took care of the paper, closing the envelop neatly against the little wooden table before reaching for a book on top of the night table. The letter would be safe there until he could read it, and so it was going to stay there.

"To whom?" The blond man raised an eyebrow from the other side of the room, his hands still trying to put in order the giant arrange of flowers his father had sent the woman. It was a nice gesture, _really,_ but it didn't need to be so big it couldn't fit inside a normal vessel. Kaede snickered a little, trying to hide it behind a cough, but Marco had heard it anyway- His eyebrow remained raised, waiting for an explanation.

She looked up from the book bags under her eyes from the tough night without sleep. The headache was getting worse, slowly, but it was noticeable enough to make it worrying. Marco tried to not look at them much, half because she ignored them as well, the other half being because he still couldn't bear to see them.

Again.

"To an idiot who doesn't know how to lie"

A confused look crossed his face.

"Why would you write something to Luffy?"

She laughed.


	25. After Story: Kou

When I look at my mom, there is little that can change my mood.

People like uncle Ace who's her cousin or uncle Drake who's a really old friend of hers, says that you can rarely see her angry, and that's true. My mom is the kind of person that lets you do next to whatever you want as long as you can promise her you will give your all to it, and as long as its consequences doesn't involve someone else- She is the kind of mom who won the heart of over all her son's classmate (aka, MY classmates) with cookies and really well baked brownies. She laughs most of the time, and smile even more often than that, which is basically every hour of the day. To run with her is a challenge, and to hide the vegetables under the plate at dinner is suicide.

My mom, you see, used to be in the navy

Vice Admiral, three stars rank with a NATO of OF-8, honorable discharge a couple of years before I was born. And that gave her quite the knowledge of how to _just look _at people to make them stay on line; apparently she used to be grandpas Garp's pride when she enrolled on the academy, being the only one of his three wards that took a liking to the same career as him. But she is not like him at all, and not only because she does not kick down doors when she comes into the room, or because she doesn't make uncle Ace and Luffy run at three in the morning with rocks the size of a dog tide to their waist –Exactly from where he gets them still is a mystery to me-.

But when I look at my dad, there are some things I can't quite understand.

He is not like other dads, I can tell you that much.

He doesn't normally wear suits, and he doesn't complain when mom stares at something inside a shop for a little longer than two seconds- Before you know it he is already dragging her in and pulling money out. He is the one to have a beer while watching Tv, but he is the one that prefers either watch mom cook or talk to me rather than sitting in the couch looking at that screen. Dad always offers his arm to mom when they are walking together, and she always take it- Because dad loves mom more than he loves all the money he spends or all the sports he can watch on the tv, therefore he is careful when they walk so she won't hurt herself.

But that's not about it.

Is about the way he sometimes seems to daze when we go to the beach, or every time there's a bird on the window. Is about the way he haves uncle Ace eat at our house every week, like he's in danger of disappearing at any time, or how he looks at grandpa Newgate when we go to the main buildings of his 'business' to celebrate his birthday. Is about the way he bursts into my room in the middle of the night every so, breathing quickly, sweat running down his temples- The kind of picture you get from someone who has just had a nightmare. Is the way he seems to be looking for a way of proving that I exist, or that I'm still alive, or at least that I'm still here.

Is about the way he pales when mom coughs, or when she can't move her hands and drops something, or when she can't remember a word. I do know she is sick, has been before I was born, but just like uncle Ace and maybe like me when I get older, she takes medicine to slow things down and she goes to therapy and she feels _okay _but dad looks at her like she is actually not, like she is going to go at any moment. And he looks _so _hurt that the only thing that I can do is cry like a little kid when I see it, just like I cried the first time I left flowers in the grave of the sister I never had.

Is about how I feel like I've lived all of it _before. _

The dazes, the meals in a table. The grave that was actually empty, the doctor coming to our house- The tears, and my dad's forehead on my shoulder while crying after a nightmare- Grownups don't cry in front of children, but when because he seems so sad, those times are okay. Like a dream, a really old ream, or from a dream inside a dream. It was odd, and it was impossible, but sometimes it didn't feel like it was that impossible.

Those where the times where my dad looked at me, like he knew what I was thinking, and then smiled.

Like he knew as well the answer to all my troubles.

"Kou" A hand on my shoulder brought me back to the earth, shaking my little world of dreams until it was well hidden at the back of my mind. That left a really big blank though, something that make it difficult for me to concentrate on a certain point, so the only thing I could actually do was to look up at the face of the person who was besides my chair. Dad's blond hair, the hair that I inherited, came into view quite quickly, and so did the eyes that somehow I avoided having; he said he liked this one's better, my mom's, the honey colored ones. He didn't look concerned, but he did look curious "Kou? Are you alright?"

"Dad?" I blinked up at him, trying to clear the thoughts off my mind. It proved to be difficult, mostly because I had been thinking about him- I only thought of gripping the pencil in my hand to distract myself, and that was when I noticed that I was actually still holding it. I blinked again, shaking my head "I'm sorry, I just…" What was there to say? That I was thinking of how odd he is- Of how odd we are? If I have to guess, that's not something you would like your kid to say to you.

"What's this?" When I realize it he's already leaning to see the sheets of paper in the desk, the one my pencil is firmly set on top of. I stare down at it as well, taking on the wings and the color test on the sides- There is fire almost everywhere, but somehow, to draw it red doesn't sound that good, so I thought of drawing it blue. A blue phoenix.

"Nothing, just something that came to my mind" Something that actually keeps coming to my mind. I try to cover it with another paper, but that one is drawn on as well- There's a bird, not an eagle, but a big bird as well. Something that keeps coming to my mind as well, something I can't shake off. By the time a notice it he's already holding the drawings up to see, a hint of something I cannot identify on his eyes, and suddenly there is some kind of glow that lights his whole face.

_Why does he look so young?_

_Why has he not changed at all? _

"Say, Kou" He doesn't look away from the drawing, and neither do I from his face. The sun is setting outside the window and that makes the room light up with orange and red- It makes his face light up with orange and red, and just like with the drawing, it doesn't look okay. Just like with the drawing, blue comes to my mind almost immediately, and I can't help but feel like I'm forgetting something "Would you like to hear a story?"

"About what?

"About a pirate"

There was no smirk, no taunt. There was a smile, and there was nostalgia, but there was nothing that could tell me this was not just a child's tail- There was nothing that could or would tell me why he was, out of the blue, saying something like this, and there was nothing that could tell me why, suddenly, it seemed like I have heard all of this before. He places the drawings down, and setting his back against the desk, he looks down at me patiently.

"And about a marine"

**I thought that, since Kaede reincarnated, and Ace and Luffy and pretty much everybody, it would be interesting if their son did so as well, with some memories of his previous life. **


End file.
